Brother Battle Book
by Rebecca Keys
Summary: Zack loves flirting with girls, though he always gets rejected. But when one date goes better than expected, Zack gets cold feet and flees. Luckily, Cody is there to pick up the pieces. Soon Cody has an identity crisis, but Zack is a man with a plan. Z/C
1. Zackary Gets Lucky

**A/N: This is a story about the unexpected and mutually discovered love between two brothers. I am aware that BBB broaches many sensitive themes, including but not limited to homosexuality, incest, and sex between minors. I have handled these as gently as I can without obscuring BBB's central message and storyline. **

**Warnings: ****Mild Het early on. Explicit Z/C incest and slash later. **_**You have been warned. **_**If it's not your thing, you know where to find the back button.**

**Disclaimer: I am making no profit from this work of fiction, and unlike Disney I do not own the twins. (The twins own me.)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Bye, Mum— I'll be home by ten," Zack called out over his shoulder as he opened the door to their suite. He paused to wave at Carey, who was busy fiddling over the kitchen stove and looking lost, and at Cody, who was standing nearby and supervising the dinner-making anxiously. Carey waved back, looking up from her work long enough to blow him a kiss.

With her attention safely diverted away from the stove, Cody swiftly set the broth to a simmer and added a handful of pepper. By the time Carey returned to the broth, Cody had his arms crossed and was smiling sweetly.

Zack, having witnessed Cody's vain attempts to improve Carey's cooking, could do nothing but roll his eyes in sympathy. Once again he turned to leave, but Carey called out to him.

"We love you, honey! Have fun on your little date. But _be_ _polite_." She wagged a spoon threateningly at Zack's head. "And remember—ten."

Zack gave her a cheeky salute. "Yes, Ma'am." He left quickly, slamming the door behind him and whistling the whole way to the elevator.

* * *

Zack met up with his date, Linda, at the restaurant's entrance. He had been a bouquet of flowers behind his back, and when Linda looked up to greet him, offered her his arm with a smile.

"My lady," Zack said, in a phony british accent. "I pray that you will accompany me for dinner, for you are more lovely than any flower." He presented the flowers to her, bowing deeply.

Linda giggled, accepting the flowers. She dipped in a little curtsy of her own. "Thank you ever so much, kind Sir."

Zack led her by the arm to a booth in the corner, which was alight with the glow of two burning candles, and snapped his fingers. "Menus, Pendleton," Zack called out to their waiter cheekily as they took their seats.

"Of course, Lord Martin," said Pendleton. He handed them their menus, dipping low in Linda's direction: "My good Lady." Linda giggled again, blushing. Zack slyly slipped Pendleton a fiver under the table as he left for the kitchens, and turned to admire his date. Her shirt was long-sleeved and stretchy, and just a bit more revealing than was probably appropriate. Not that Zack was complaining. He was momentarily mesmerized by the long sparky necklace around her neck, which sat nestled close to her cleavage.

"I like your necklace," Zack said innocently, using it as an excuse to stare. Linda smiled.

"Thank you," she said lowly, fingering the pendant.

Zack coughed into his hand, and they decided to make their orders.

"This is so cool," Linda said, after the waiter had left. "And very sweet of you. How did you think of all this?"

Zack chuckled. "Oh, well, you know me_: hopeless romantic."_ He reminded himself to thank Cody later for setting everything up.

Zack had complained to Cody earlier about not knowing where to take the 'love of his life' for dinner, and about how important it was that Zack sweep her off her feet. After a great deal of whining, and a few of Zack's choicest puppy-dog pouts, Cody had relented, rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.

When the food arrived ten minutes later, Linda was already ranting up a storm. Currently, she was venting about an argument she'd had with her _ex_-friend, Amanda Byrnes. Zack was eating and pretending to listen. He got the general gist, anyway, and whenever Linda would look at him expectantly he'd just nod sagely and say something like, "How rude. You poor, poor thing." It seemed to work wonders.

At one point, Linda solicited his opinion, admitting to him in a low and secretive voice that Amanda had cruelly tricked her into dating this one guy from Chem who just wanted to have sex with her.

"I'm so sorry Mandy was mean to you," Zack crooned, grabbing a breadstick and some salsa. "You don't have to worry about anything like that when you're with me."

Linda smiled, saying, "Yeah, well, I'm totally over him anyway," and launched right into a tirade about all the boys she'd dated. Zack had tuned her out again, digging into his pasta.

So far, he thought he liked Linda, although she was kind of annoying, and a little bit bossy. She hadn't let Zack get a word in edgewise the whole meal unless it was about her, and frankly her high-pitched whine was starting to get irritating. Still, she was hot, and older than Zack to boot. Besides... Zack had it in pretty good confidence that it would be well worth his while if he could just wait it out a few more hours.

Bob had slipped him the juicy tidbit just last week, and Zack had been unable to resist. Apparently, there was a rumor going around that Linda's legs would spread for any guy that was willing to woo her. Zack didn't know how true it all was, but he wasn't about to waste an opportunity to find out. He'd managed to do some research of his own, and according to Amanda Byrnes, whom Zack had cornered the day before in the hall, Linda had started the rumor herself during a game of truth or dare.

_Even better_.

Linda had barely touched her food, too busy recounting Amanda's many faults. She seemed to get more and more worked-up the longer she talked, but from the way Linda kept smirking at Zack suggestively every few minutes or so, Zack was starting to suspect that much of it was an act for his benefit. Well, two could play at that game.

Zack smiled as charmingly as he knew how, and waited for Linda's story to wind to a close. Eventually, it did, just as her fake pout deepened and she began to reach the verge of fake tears.

Zack took that as his cue to begin his brilliant master plan. _Step one: get her attention._

He took a hold of Linda's hand, face the very picture of sincerity.

"Don't you worry about her, Linda. Amanda doesn't own you." Zack used a dinner napkin to dab at Linda's dry cheeks. He shook his finger, then, as if the thought had just ocurred to him: "You know what you need right now? Some loving from the Zack-man. C'mere." He opened his arms with a honey-golden grin.

Linda got up and came around the other side of the booth immediately, allowing Zack to hold her to his chest. Her face crumpled a little against his shoulder- and the reaction was so obviously fake that it was hard for him not to smile. But he somehow managed.

His date's hysterics, meanwhile, had reached new heights. "Oh, Zack, she's just so..." sob, "_mean _to me. I don't know how I thought I could be friends with her."

Zack concealed his true feelings by pressing his face into her hair at the base of her neck, rubbing her back comfortingly. _Step two_, he thought: move in for the kill. "There, there, I know. Go ahead and cry it out... I've got you."

"Thanks, Zack," Linda sniffed after a minute or so, pulling away. "You know just what to say to a girl." She smiled, wiping her eyes, and brought her face close to his. Zack closed his eyes and leaned in as well.

_Step three? Enjoy._

And as their mouths met wetly, Linda's glossy lips sliding into his, even Zack was impressed with his success. He resisted the urge to cackle. Oh, yes, he had Linda right where he wanted her.

Zack gave it ten minutes, tops, before Linda was _begging_ to take him back to her place.

He broke the kiss. Linda pouted up at him.

"You know, Zacky; I'm feeling a little tired. Do you think you could walk me back to my apartment?"

Bingo. Zack smiled with jaw-aching sweetness. "Sure thing, _Lind-y_." He held out his arm for her to take once again, and slapped a wad of cash onto the table that he'd saved up from his hours as a bagger boy.

"Let's get you home," Zack said, slyly wrapping an arm around Linda's shoulders.

Linda curled her lip as they walked out the glass double-doors. "There's something else I forgot to mention, Zack..." She whispered, leaning close to his ear. "My parents had a date tonight, too." She batted her lashes at him, and Zack felt his stomach leap in response. "They shouldn't be home for another three hours." At that she stepped back, a wicked gleam in her eye.

Zack flushed, turning to gape at her. In answer, she grabbed a hold of his tie and tugged him out the door. _Correction_, Zack thought to himself, awed: _three_.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for clicking the link to my story and deciding to read! I hope you will enjoy reading BBB as much as I have enjoyed writing it. **


	2. Zacky Takes His Leave

**A/N: Warning... Het. **

* * *

They took a little longer getting to Linda's apartment than Zack had planned. Linda had spent the whole walk home swinging her handbag against Zack's leg suggestively and making sure their hands brushed every other step.

At the door, Zack shifted from foot to foot. Now that he was actually _here_, he wasn't sure of the best way to go about… things. Truth be told, he'd never really expected his plan to work. Zack's come-ons had certainly never worked _before_.

Zack would never admit this to anyone—after all, he had an image to uphold—but he was very unfamiliar with the whole 'hooking up with loose women' business.

_Flirting_ with girls was one thing. Compliments and pick-up lines flowed from Zackary's lips like air, after all, and he'd been making passes at girls since he was nine.

But this?

There was a gleam in Linda's eye that Zack hadn't noticed before. Zack swallowed, hands heavy and swinging uselessly by his sides. His mouth was suddenly very dry.

"Come on in, sugar. What are you waiting for?" Linda leaned closer to Zack so she could murmur in his ear. "_Let's take the elevator_." Grabbing Zack's arm, which went all boneless and noodley in her hand, Linda dragged him up the steps and into the building.

Getting into the elevator was a feat in itself, as it turned out. Zack's legs turned to jelly at the doors and refused to cooperate further, meaning that Linda ended up having to practically carry him inside.

Linda clicked the button numbered 18 and tapped her foot loudly until the doors to the elevator closed. Man, that girl had a lot of energy. Zack envied her. He slouched against the wall and eyed Linda's irritated expression.

He felt a little silly being this nervous—Zack wasn't at all positive that Linda intended to go all the way with him tonight. Actually, he was getting mixed signals from her in general. He didn't know what the heck to expect from her.

Currently, she appeared to be ignoring him.

When Zack's breathing had slowed, he turned his full attention on Linda and waited for her to acknowledge him.

He was surprised to find her staring at him. Her pupils were large and dilated. Zack suddenly had a bad feeling, but brushed it off as ridiculous. That is, until she pounced.

Within seconds, she had Zack's wrists pinned to the wall above his head and was kissing his neck, jaw- everywhere her lips could reach. Zack was both aroused by the sensations on his skin, and slightly afraid to move. Linda's knee was, after all, propped against the wall right between Zack's thighs, just inches from his you-know-whats; and Zack knew that any sudden movements on his part could easily end in tragedy.

The bell _dinged_ above them as the doors of the elevator opened, but Linda ignored the fact of their arrival completely. She continued to mouth kisses along Zack's jugular. Zack looked around them and considered his options. This wasn't exactly the most romantic venue for this kind of thing.

"Linda… sweetie? You know this is our stop, right?" Linda ceased sucking long enough to look up in surprise. She took in Zack's uncomfortable expression and sighed.

"Whatever. Let's just go." She stalked out of the elevator and marched down the hallway, presumably toward her rooms. Zack followed, slightly bewildered by her sudden mood swing. He didn't want to relinquish his image as a ladies-man who actually knew what he was doing just yet; but he didn't want to upset Linda either.

"Wait!" He called out, catching up to her. "I'm sorry if I offended you." He rubbed the spot on his neck where Linda had marked him. It still tingled. "I did like it, though."

Linda stopped before a door marked 1819 and pulled out a room key, turning to face him- looking mollified. She rolled her eyes, but her expression was softer than before. "Just be quiet and get inside, before someone sees you," she gestured, unlocking her the door and stepping inside. Zack nodded quickly and entered the room without argument. His heart picked up speed as he entered the darkened room. They were really going to do this! He couldn't believe his luck.

The door slammed loudly behind him, momentarily giving Zack a heart attack. Absolute darkness swallowed them up.

He stood there for a few seconds, blinking, and wondered why Linda hadn't turned on the lights yet. He reached out an arm, expecting to feel her beside him, but there was nothing except air. Zack squinted- he had trouble seeing anything in the gloom.

Unbidden, Zack's heart began to beat even faster. Not that he'd admit it in a million, million years- but he had never really _liked_ the dark.

"Linda?" He called out. No answer was forthcoming. "Where'd you go?" He took a few steps, then stopped, worried he'd trip over something. His eyes were only just starting to adjust. "Linda... come on. I can't see anything. Where are y—? _Oomf_!"

Something large and solid interrupted him, knocking into Zack's chest and sending him crashing to the floor. He lay on the floor, dazed, and let out a groan. That had _really_ hurt. He sat up, gasping, and looked around for some sign of his attacker; even though all he could see were stars. He rubbed at his head. "_Linda_?" No answer.

That was when Zack started panicking for real. He made himself very small and huddled to the floor. Terrible images flashed before his mind's eye- he thought of being accosted by some psychotic killer who had been lying in wait for the first person to return to the apartment, and was even now watching him somewhere in the dark. "Oh God... Please tell me it's you," he whispered, voice practically inaudible. Another thought ocurred to him. What if whoever it was had gotten Linda too? He squeezed his eyes shut, head spinning.

After several more moments of strained silence, Zack thought he heard faint, feminine laughter coming from somewhere to his left. He froze... then slowly, chest heaving, released the tense breath he'd been holding in; incredulous as he realized what must have happened.

"What the hell, Linda?" he shot into the dark. "You scared the hell out of me!"

More laughter. Zack continued rubbing the back of his head, but the relief that had rushed into him the moment he had heard her voice took some of the edge off his anger. He focused on collecting himself, slightly embarrassed by his reaction.

"What? Did I scare the big, strong, 'Zack-man'? I'm so very sorry." The voice came closer. "Here… Let me kiss it better."

A warm mouth attached itself at Zack's throat, and Zack sucked in a breath at the contact, leaning back onto his hands. "Why? Are you- ah- questioning my manliness?" He moaned appreciatively as she nipped at the skin of his jaw.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Linda smiled into his neck. Cold hands met Zack shirt, working at the long line of buttons. They parted the fabric quickly, and with a finesse that suggested they must have done this many times before. Linda slid both hands up Zack's chest, kissing his lips. He groaned, and Linda grinned at his reaction, one of her hands sliding south to his jeans while the other clutched at his hair.

Zack was in heaven- too blissed out to even think about reciprocating. It felt so good, all of it, that he didn't even notice the hand fiddling at his pant buttons until he heard the metallic clinking of a zipper being lowered.

At the sound, Zack's eyes opened at once and he broke their kiss; but before he could protest, Linda's questing hand had already slipped down inside his unbuttoned jeans, ducking under the waistband of his boxers in one smooth movement. Her cold, delicate hand slid deeper, finally wrapping around the sensitive flesh of his erection.

Zack jumped, gasping- the jolt to his system more than he could handle. Just like that, his feelings of bliss dissipated just as quickly as they had come, to be replaced by shock- and something like fear. And when that gripping hand began to move, Zack panicked.

"Stop!" he whimpered, mortified at how high-pitched his voice sounded. Zack grabbed at the offending limb, which had started to stroke him, and pulled it out of his pants at once. "Please_…_"

Linda must have realized he was serious, because she let him drag her hand away, and placed it somewhat timidly on Zack's shoulder instead. After a moment, she whispered inquiringly into his ear. "Zack? I'm sorry... did I do something wrong?" Her voice was low and apologetic.

He gulped, sincerely wishing he had an answer for her that wouldn't sound insulting. The skin on the back of his neck began to itch, and he felt sick. For although Linda had done he had asked, her other hand had drifted down again, and was rubbing his abdomen close to the edge of his jeans. He felt bad about rejecting her advance, but mostly he was just worried she'd try it again.

He snatched the questing fingers, pushing them to her chest instead. "Linda, could you not...?" he paused, not sure what he was even asking. Feeling stupid. "Just... please don't touch me there, okay?" There. That was pretty clear.

Linda froze, then nodded a little. "... Alright." She backed away, and Zack sat up with relief, eyes closed.

"Thanks," he said, focusing on returning his breathing to normal.

"You're welcome..." came a sad little voice from across the room, and Zack's eyes snapped open. Uh oh.

He could've smacked himself. He'd gone and offended her already. _What the hell is wrong with you? _

He stood at once, looking for the source of the noises. He thought he could make out Linda's hunched silhouette against a couch by the opposite wall, and made his way over slowly, taking a cautious seat beside her. "Linda, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Linda let out a little sob, and though Zack couldn't see her face, it sounded real enough. He felt even worse.

"I'm sorry," she was saying, "I just wanted to make you feel good... I'm sorry I'm so ugly that you want nothing to do with me, and I'm sorry I touched you." She wiped her face, and Zack thought she was looking up at him in the dark. "I ruined everything, didn't I?"

She sounded absolutely pitiful. _He_ felt like an absolute cad. In a rare stroke of insight, Zack realized he actually felt bad about treating her the way he had all night- like a means to an end. He'd only asked her out in the first place because he wanted her to put out, and now here he was making her cry about it. What kind of a jerk was he, anyway?

He felt particularly stupid for reacting as negatively as he had. Why had it freaked him out so much? It wasn't as if she'd hurt him. Any guy he knew would give his right arm to have a beautiful woman sticking her hand down their pants. It was every teenage boy's wet dream.

What was he so scared of, anyway? Linda was just eager, like he was. Could he really blame her for being so forward?

After all: he was a hunk.

Zack squared his shoulders, determined.

Feeling a bit more like himself, Zack placed a hand upon her shoulder, rubbing it through her shirt. "You're not ugly, Linda. Don't say that about yourself." He reached for her hand and took it in his, squeezing it in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. "You're very pretty."

Linda smiled at the compliment and squeezed back. "Thanks. You're sweet."

Zack congratulated himself. "It's just the truth."

Linda sniffed. "So... I haven't ruined things between us?" Hopeful. She inched closer to him, and he smiled, hoping she could see his expression in the dim.

"Nah." He shrugged. Linda gave him a brilliant smile, and Zack sat up straighter, switching back into charming date mode. He took her arm in his. "You haven't ruined anything." He leaned in, grinning. "The _Zack_-man understands." Linda slid all the way over on the couch, her thigh pressed flush against his, and Zack held up a hand. "Let's... just go a little bit slower this time. Okay?"

"Sounds fine by me," Linda agreed, snuggling up to his chest, and he couldn't believe he'd been afraid of someone so sweet. She raised a hand to his face. "It means I can do this."

Linda grasped Zack's chin, drawing him down to her face. Zack let himself be pulled, and when their lips met even allowed Linda to push him back against the couch and slowly take a seat in his lap.

Linda resumed her previous removal of Zack's clothing- albeit this time much more gently- and Zack let her. She started with his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and throwing it behind her. Zack sighed, but shivered from the cold. "This okay?" Linda asked, inches from his lips. Zack nodded.

His jeans were next, shimmied down his legs until they got caught up around his ankles. She tugged, but they wouldn't budge because of his shoes. Linda cursed under her breath, which suprised Zack- she didn't seem the swearing type- and pulled hard at the offending garments until sneakers, socks, and jeans all came flying off. She tossed them into a heap by the couch, and returned to kissing him. Zack responded enthusiastically.

After a few minutes, Linda tucked an index finger into the edge of his boxers, almost as an afterthought. It made Zack a little nervous, but he told himself he didn't mind too much... so long as she didn't go any further. He broke away to kiss her neck, dotting his way noisily up to her cheek in an attempt to lighten the mood. She giggled, and he felt better about their situation. Linda distracted him with her hands on his back, which stroked the skin around his sides and felt amazing. He allowed himself to be lost again in the sensations Linda's hands and lips were giving him.

A minute later, though, Linda lowered the finger at his shorts, dragging a bit of fabric down with it. Zack froze and intercepted her, stopping her hand gently.

"Linda," he said, trying to laugh away his annoyance. "_Sweetie_... remember what I said before?" Linda, however, ignored him, kissing his shoulder. Her other hand had joined the first, tugging more sharpy at his boxers. Zack leaned back and took hold of her shoulders, tried to get her to look at him. She seemed amused, somehow; as if she thought he was just playing coy. That wouldn't do at all.

He tried a different tact, saying in as smooth a voice as he could manage, "Don't you think we're taking this a bit fast for a first date? I mean... relax. We have all the time in the world."

Linda leaned in close, still smiling, and nipped the tip of his nose in answer.

That actually hurt! He rubbed at the spot. "I guess that's a 'no'?" He asked, drawing back.

Linda laughed, though Zack hadn't intended it as a joke, and responded by shimmying in place atop his lap. The blood rushed from Zack's face to his nether regions.

_Oh_. That felt... good. Amazing, in fact. Zack felt his arousal returning. Linda repeated the motion, encouraged, and Zack groaned.

"Good?" She asked knowingly, and did it again.

Zack nodded. Linda leaned forward for another kiss, her breasts pushing up against his chest.

Something twisted oddly in Zackary's gut, and he quelled his sudden urge to pull away. He couldn't for the life of him explain it, but the feel of her... against him like that was making it hard for him to... well, to stay hard.

He tried to ignore his discomfort, to concentrate on the wonderful pressure on his lap... even lifted his hips to increase the friction. But matters quickly grew worse when, to his disbelief, he felt Linda's fingers once _again_ creeping across his belly toward his boxers.

He lost it completely-the erection, that is- and growled his frustration.

"Linda, I said no!" Zack snapped, pushing her wandering hand away more harshly than before. He was officially irritated.

Linda replied by grinding harder against him, pressing into his lap at a new angle that actually brought him more pain than pleasure. Zack winced, and briefly considered pushing her off.

"'No' is not an honest answer," Linda huffed. She lifted her hips and pressed one palm against Zack's bulge in their place, cupping the softening length through his boxers. "Just _let_ me, Zack, and I can make you feel so good..." She slid her hand up and down again, caressing the seam of his pants.

Zack was more than a little ticked-off that Linda _still_ refused to listen to him, even after he had repeated himself several times. But he did have to admit… Linda's cupped hand did feel the best of anything else Linda had tried so far. It was certainly less invasive than before.

The sensations increased in intensity, and it was still okay, so he tried to relax a little. He concentrated on the excitement spreading through him, eager to feel _something_ again. "Keep... doing that," he said, and Linda smirked.

"It's obvious you want me, there's really no use denying it," she affirmed. "I have the proof right here." She traced light circles through the cloth. His cock twitched. "See? You like this, don't you?"

After some consideration, Zack nodded; privately hating how long it took him to agree. It did feel better, now that Linda had shifted somewhat and was no longer pressing the wrong way against his balls.

"There's no need to hold back with me, Zacky," Linda cooed at him. "We can go as far as you like and I _promise_ I won't mind."

Linda was _not_ getting it. Zack struggled to explain, unsure of even himself. "That's not it." He closed his eyes at the sight of her licking her lips while she eyed his crotch, stomach flipping uncomfortably.

"What's the problem, then?" Linda asked, pouting.

A pause. "I don't know," Zack answered, as honestly as he could.

She sighed. "Well... maybe it'd be more fun if you didn't just sit there like a limp fish." She grabbed hold of Zack's hands, which had been resting uselessly against his sides, and placed them on her breasts, over her shirt. Zack squeezed the flesh weakly at Linda's encouragement. The breasts jiggled in his hands. Oh. He squeezed them again, fascinated. No girl had ever let him touch them there, before. He thought about how often he had dreamed of something similar to this, and frowned, wondering what was missing. He had expected it to be... different, somehow. He played with them for a minute, exploring, and Linda let him.

"There, see?" Linda said happily. "That's much better." She began to gyrate against him again, more slowly, and this time Zack felt a definite response from within his boxers. His erection returned with a vengeance, and Zack became a little more hopeful about his situation.

Maybe he could do this after all.

"Um, did I tell you to stop touching those?" a voice berated him from above. Zack flinched, realizing that his hands had fallen from Linda's chest.

"Sorry!" He said, and resumed squeezing her breasts. Linda sighed, smiling.

Unfortunately, Zack was finding it quite difficult to multitask. After a few more minutes of gyrating and squeezing, Zack realized the source of the problem.

Each time he focused on maintaining the friction against his dick (and not injuring anything in the process) his hands would slip unbidden off of Linda's breasts. And each time he tried to pay more attention to the flesh in front of his face, his hips stopped moving of their own accord and Zack lost his hard-on. It was damned frustrating.

Endless minutes of this uncomfortable pattern passed before Zack gave up. Linda ceased grinding against him, _finally_ sensing the change in his enthusiasm. Desperate, she removed her hands from Zack's shoulders and grabbed his face instead, pressing her lips to Zack's mouth in an attempt distract him.

It worked. Without the bother of having to deal with the rest of Linda's body, Zack was able to relax more and concentrate on pure sensation. He returned the kiss eagerly. Linda moaned happily.

"Oh, Zack... _you're such a good kisser_," she whispered against his lips. He answered by pressing harder, inducing another moan from above him.

Zack knew how to handle this part, having had lots of experience with _kissing_ the girls he went out with. He used his renewed confidence to his advantage, and after just a few minutes he felt her fairly swooning against him.

True, Linda's lips were still a bit sticky from the left over lip-gloss. But considering Zack's other options, this was definitely preferable.

Zack even began to get into it a little, losing himself to his task. He widened his mouth, deepening the sensations, and tucked her lower lip between his teeth ever so lightly- nipping at the flushed skin. Linda gasped against Zack's lips, and Zack smiled. _See? _Zack reassured himself. _The Zack-man's still got it_.

Things became much more heated as Zack increased the friction by grabbing her lower back and bringing her down more firmly into his lap. But when Zack let loose a gasp of pleasure against Linda's lips, Linda took that as encouragement to open the kiss, sticking her tongue into Zack's mouth. She licked his teeth- even catching part of a molar at one point. Zack gagged a little, not expecting the intrusion, but this proved to be no deterrent. Linda seemed to want to reach inside his throat, pushing her tongue as far as it would go. Zack wondered if it was possible to choke another person from doing that, and after just a few seconds retreated. Linda pursued.

Finally, Zack turned his head, unable to take anymore. He tried to be discreet about his displeasure, to not let his reaction show- not wanting to hurt her feelings again. He wiped his lips as subtly as he could with the back of his hand, and smiled sweetly at Linda when she opened her eyes to see what was wrong.

Unfortunately, Linda caught the vague distaste in Zack's eyes. She scoffed at Zack loudly, finally leaping off his lap in one smooth motion. "What? So now you don't want to kiss me, either?" Linda wiped at her own mouth and stomped loudly across the apartment. Zack protested, but she ignored him, saying, "I don't know what's wrong with you, Zack; but we're going to solve this problem right here. _Right_ now."

Light burst into existence, brightening every corner of the living room.

Zack winced, shielding his eyes against the glare. Blinking, he realized Linda was coming toward him. He wasn't sure how she had managed it so quickly, but by the time Zack's eyes had adjusted to the light Linda was standing before him, her shirt already completely off and pants shucked. She smiled at him sweetly, in her bra and underwear, but her eyes spelled an indignation that did not match the rest of her face. Zack's neck hairs stood on end. As he watched, she wriggled quickly out of the rest of her clothing, and he gulped, keeping his eyes resolutely trained on her face.

"You can look, Zack," she said. He shook his head, then averted his gaze. "Unless the sight of a beautiful young woman disgusts you for some reason, of course." Biting. Sarcastic.

"That's _not_ it at all... Look, Linda, just put your clothes back on. Please? You're..." He trailed off, his face feeling hot. "Please."

"If you think I'm so attractive, then why won't you _look_?" Zack heard Linda drop her clothes some distance away. She surprised him, then, by getting down on hands and knees- walking like that, on all fours, toward the couch. Zack tried not to look. This was all wrong. His peripheral vision, though, caught what he refused to see: her breasts, bouncing softly under her with every step she took. The sway of her hips. He closed his eyes shut, wishing she would stop embarrassing the both of them and cover herself already. But the words wouldn't come.

"We're going to get through this little problem of yours," she was saying. "Together. It's okay- this sort of thing happens to a lot of guys when they're nervous." Zack paused to stare at her face, trying to plead with her with his eyes. But her eyes had a wild look to them that scared Zack immensely. He tensed, looking away again.

"You just need a little encouragement," Linda whispered heatedly. She had reached his knees, and was staring up at him. Zack wanted to tell her to _forget_ it, to get the hell away from him, something. But he couldn't. His voice wasn't working. He felt paralyzed. "Let me help you," she murmured. She began to kiss his knee.

At the intimate contact, he shuddered, and the room started to close in around his ears.

Zack knew he _had_ to get out of that apartment, whatever it took. He stood up, and without offering an explanation began searching around the room frantically for his clothes, spotting them in a heap by a chair. Zack grabbed them on his way to the door. No time to put them on. He'd have to run for it.

Meanwhile, Linda froze, gaping at his retreating figure. "_Zack_?" When he reached the door, she shrieked. "Where are you going?" Her voice grew shrill and panicky. "You're not gonna just… leave me here like this, are you?"

Zack was shaking all over, but he stopped with one hand upon the doorknob. He stared down at his body, looking at himself as another person might see him. He was practically naked, with far too much pasty, shivering skin exposed to the cool air. He looked terrified. Pathetic. All because of a naked girl? On its surface, the whole thing seemed ridiculous.

Zack slowly looked up, across the room to where _she_ was sitting, was crouching naked on the carpet. Pouting up at him with huge eyes.

At his gaze, she dragged a hand down her skin, starting at her neck and lowering to... Zack couldn't look. She pleaded with him. "You wouldn't leave me here alone, would you? Unsatisfied?" He heard, rather than saw, as she sucked a few of her fingers into her mouth. He turned just in time to see the fingers drag down her stomach and enter her body... She moaned loudly.

He turned back around immediately, swallowing. He _had_ to go. He grabbed the door-knob.

"I'm sorry, Linda." He paused. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but..." He shook his head, heart beating wildly. "I definitely, definitely can't. And... it's clear that you have a lot of issues to work out. So..."

The door opened slightly beneath Zack's hand. A small part of him still felt a little guilty… it was yelling at him to _man_ up already and apologize to the lonely girl who was debasing herself on the carpet.

But another part of Zack was screaming for him to leave before that... psycho tried to molest him again. She was clearly too delusional to realize when her partner wasn't enjoying himself.

"Zack! Come back!" Linda said, covering herself with her shirt as he opened the door to the hallway. "Jackass!"

Zack kept his head down and stepped quickly into the hall, clutching his bundle of clothes to his chest. His arms were shaking, but he somehow managed to shut the door behind him without injury. He slipped into his sneakers as walked, wary of the angry growls emanating from within the apartment, and set off for the elevator at a run.


	3. Cody Gets An Earful

Cody awoke with a start. Someone was rapping lightly at the bedroom door. He sat up groggily and peered through the darkness. Zack's bed was empty.

"Zack? S'that you?" He croaked.

"Yeah, it's me," came his answer through the door.

Cody sat up further and looked over at his alarm clock. 11:30. _Oh, he's very late_, Cody thought somewhat smugly. Zack was going to be in huge trouble when mom found out. If she hadn't already.

Zack let himself in. The door whined as it opened and shut with a _click_.

"Mom know you're back yet?" Cody asked, voice cracking. He cleared his throat quietly.

Zack shook his head and padded closer to his twin's bed. The lights from the city outside illuminated the left side of Zack's face, allowing Cody to get a better look at his expression.

And his state of dress, or lack thereof.

"Zack? What happened to your shirt?" Cody squinted. "And your pants?"

Zack sighed, patting the bundle of clothes in his arms. "They're here." At Cody's sleepy eyebrow, Zack shook his head. "It's a long story, believe me."

This of course only served to heighten Cody's curiosity. He sat up, feeling much more awake.

"Then you'd better get cracking, because it's pretty late." Cody propped up a couple of pillows under his back and leaned back against the headboard, thumping out a space on the bed beside him. Zack muttered his thanks and quietly took a seat, the mattress sinking under his weight.

Cody eyed Zack's hunched shoulders and weary expression with some concern. Zack looked like a dog who'd been caught disobeying his master. He was wringing his hands nervously, not meeting Cody's gaze.

Whatever it was that had happened to his brother, Zack clearly expected Cody to be disappointed because of it. Normally, this would be cause for alarm, but something was different about Zack's demeanor this time. It wasn't guilty, so much as confused.

He felt a rare surge of pity for his brother. When Cody spoke, it was carefully devoid of judgment.

"From the look on your face, I probably don't even want to _know_ what happened to you…. But…"

Zack glanced up at Cody's gentle tone.

"… I suppose it's better to know." Cody scooted over a little so Zack could move up and lean against the headboard beside him. "Go ahead, spill. I'm listening."

Zack stared at Cody through the dark with careful eyes. Cody waited.

"You know how I took Linda out to dinner?" Zack began slowly.

"How could I forget?" Cody decided not to mention how worried Carey had been when Zack's curfew had come and gone with no sign of his return. She'd gone to bed over an hour ago threatening hell for when Zack returned, but begged off staying up to wait for him because she was tired after a long day of work.

Anyway, Zack was certain to get an earful in the morning. He didn't need a lecture from his brother as well. A thought occurred to him. "Did the date not turn out as romantic as you had hoped?"

Zack winced. "You… could definitely say that."

"That bad, huh? Sorry if it was something I did. I booked a table way in the back, especially so that you two would have some privacy."

Zack smiled guiltily. "Thanks for doing that for me, by the way. But, no. It wasn't something you did."

"Then what did _you_ do?" Cody's eyes widened comically. "Don't tell me Linda slapped you, too."

Zack scowled at him. "Whaddaya mean, '_too_'?"

Cody merely looked at him.

Zack's scowl slipped, and he rolled his eyes. "Okay… I deserve that. But really, how was I supposed to know Marta's dad was black? Marta's whiter than you!"

Cody sighed. "Don't get distracted, Zack, just tell me what happened."

Zack fidgeted, not sure how to put it gently. He took a deep breath and let it all out in a rush.

"Linda kind of… tookmebacktoherapartment." He dropped his face into his hands.

Cody's heart skipped a beat. "She…what?" Surely he'd heard wrong.

Peering at Cody through his fingers, Zack elaborated. "When dinner was over, I offered to walk Linda back to her apartment because she said she was tired. And then… once we got there… she invited me up to her room." Zack paused, and removed his hands to look at his brother meaningfully. "Her parents were out."

Cody squeezed his eyes shut. "You mean—that you two…?"

There was no immediate response, and his stomach dropped into his shoes.

"God, Zack… You didn't." Silence. "Please, tell me you didn't! Not with Linda _Marley_!"

When Zack finally spoke, his voice was guttural and low.

"If you mean to ask if we had sex, then… the answer is no, we didn't."

Cody's breath left him in a _whoosh_. "…Oh." A pregnant pause. "Good."

"Yeah."

The brothers sat in silence for several moments.

Cody cleared his throat. Relief had made him rude. Zack was obviously still very upset about something. "May I ask—why not?"

Zack peered at his brother in the dim light. Cody seemed calm and composed but his fingers were white where they gripped the sheets.

"You want the truth? I have no freaking clue. Linda was really into it; she obviously wanted to _do _it with me right then and there." Zack hesitated. "But I didn't."

Cody gaped at Zack. "You mean, she was willing to—and _you_ said no?" he asked. Zack, his brother, the stud? It didn't make any sense.

Zack wrapped his arms around his knees, no longer looking at Cody. "You seem way too surprised, bro. I've never been past first base before..."

"I know that," Cody said quickly. "I just meant… you always act so sure of yourself around girls. You're always flirting with them, and…" Cody looked down, unsure if he should continue. "Bob told me that you were only going out with Linda because she's…" Cody searched for a way to put it delicately. "Well, because she's…"

"Easy? Slutty? Loose?" Zack asked heatedly.

"Yeah, I guess." Cody stared at Zack. "Why are you getting mad at _me_? You're the one who went out with her."

Zack wilted. "I know."

"Then…?"

"I don't know, okay?" Zack turned toward Cody so that shadows fell across his features, and Cody couldn't tell what he was thinking. Zack sighed. "I panicked when she tried to touch me… down there. It made me sick."

Cody swallowed. "I don't know why you're asking _me_ for advice. I'm crap at this sort of thing."

"Well, who else am I supposed to ask?"

Cody waved his hand. "I don't know—anyone. Bob."

Zack laughed, his voice harsh. "Yeah, because that worked so well the first time."

Zack had a point, there. Cody sighed. "Fine. How about you start off by telling me what you two… _did _do. And we'll go on from there."

Zack crossed his arms. "She gave me a hickey as soon as we got into the elevator."

Cody snorted. At his brother's glare, he put up his hands in supplication. "Sorry! It's just… you sure do know how to pick 'em, don't you?" He giggled again at the look on his brother's face.

Zack hit him across the leg.

"Ow!" He rubbed the spot mournfully. "Was that really necessary?"

"_Anyways_," Zack said, crossing his arms pointedly. Cody grinned his encouragement. "I don't know, man. It was all too... intense, you know? She starts sucking on my neck in the elevator, and next thing I know we're in her room… but everything's dark, and then she kind of, I don't know, _leaps_ on top of me. And—well," Zack shrugged, eyes on his hands, "from there it's all a bit of a blur." He rubbed at a spot on his arm.

When there was no response, he looked up at Cody, who was staring at him openmouthed. Zack shrugged again, blushing.

"Okay, so that's a lie. The whole thing is kinda like, seared permanently in my brain."

"_So_?" Cody prodded. "What happened next?"

"Well we were on the couch, right, and she sort of sits in my lap and just starts, you know…" Zack blushed at Cody's blank look. "_Grinding_ against me." He squirmed in his seat. Cody flushed as well.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Zack agreed, continuing to rub at that one spot on his arm. "And, well, here's the weird part. None of it felt... right. You know? Sure, it felt _good_... parts of it... but it didn't feel _right_."

Cody raised his eyebrows. "What was wrong about it?"

Zack shrugged helplessly. "Wish I knew." He fished for a more satisfying answer. "It was a combination of things… she wasn't a very good kisser… And she stuck her hand down my pants, like, the moment we sat down." Zack shook his head, shuddering with remembered pain. "And then she sat on my nuts."

Cody winced in sympathy. "Ouch, dude."

"Yeah." Zack paused. "But that's not all. She also ripped _all_ my clothes off- except my boxers."

"Did you… take hers off, too?" Cody gulped, awaiting the answer.

"No, but she did. But that wasn't till after."

Cody blinked. "After… what?"

"After she turned on the lights." Zack shuddered again.

Cody raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be a euphemism, or something?"

Zack exhaled through his nose, frustrated. He slapped his hand against the bed. "I'm not explaining it right, okay? I'm telling you, though, it was scary. _She_ was scary. And once she was naked she started… _crawling_ toward me, on her hands and knees. Breasts wiggling back and forth… butt wagging everywhere… which normally I'd be fine with, of course, but for some strange reason…"

As he listened to Zack's tale, Cody's brain felt like it was slowly being folded inside out. The mental image he'd always had of his brother as this boob-loving, tail-chasing… _hunk_ was being turned on its head. Nothing made sense anymore.

Now, if the same thing had happened to Cody—well, maybe then things would be different. But it hadn't happened to Cody, it had happened to Zack.

Actually, now that Cody thought about it... something sort of similar _had_ already happened to Cody, just recently, at the movie theater with his girlfriend. In fact- Zack's reaction to Linda's strip-show was eerily similar to the way Cody himself had reacted when Barbara had….

Cody's face heated at the memory. Definitely not one of his proudest moments. Afterward, he'd vowed never to mention it to _anybody_, especially Zack, who would have teased Cody about it forever. But Cody reconsidered this now. Now that Zack knew what it was like, surely he wouldn't be so quick to judge?

Zack's story had become more graphic while Cody's mind was lost in thought. He tuned back into what his brother was saying.

"I'm telling you, there's a right way and a wrong way to sit on somebody's balls, and that was most definitely the _wrong_ way."

Cody interrupted his tirade. "Zack, hold on a minute." He twisted his blanket between his fingers. "I should tell you something."

Zack turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

"It's kind of embarrassing, but… you promise not to laugh?" Zack nodded.

"Of course. What's this about?"

Cody bit his lip. "You know how I've been dating Barbara for a little over a year now."

"Sure…" Zack said slowly.

"And things have been going great between us. I really love her, and everything." Cody hesitated. "But there was this one date a couple weeks back… when Barbara and I went to go see _Horror on Quaker Hill_."

Zack nodded. "I remember," he said. "It was gonna be a double date, but I opted out at the last minute because…. Well. Marta's dad happened."

Cody allowed himself a small laugh. "Yeah. Well. After weeks of begging her parents I convinced them that Barbara would be perfectly safe in my company, and they finally agreed to let her go on a date by herself." Cody smiled weakly. "Barbara was thrilled."

Zack eyed him curiously. "Just Barbara?" Cody was about to answer, but Zack sat up suddenly, remembering. "But you told me that date went really well. Kissing under the moonlight… a nice little grope beneath the stars…." He peered at Cody. "It sounded like you two really hit it off."

Cody blushed. "…I lied."

"You lied? And I believed you?" Zack laughed and sat up in bed to face his brother, crossing his legs. "Wow, I'm impressed." He frowned. "But why tell me now?"

"It kind of relates to your situation." Cody blushed. "Barbara and I were sitting toward the back of the theater, and it was kind of dark… not a lot of other people there. It was a matinee," Cody explained, at the look on Zack's face.

Zack nodded his understanding. "Ah."

"Anyway, halfway through the movie, Barbara puts her hand down my pants."

Zack whistled. "She didn't."

Cody flushed beet red. "She did."

"What did you do?"

Cody rubbed his arms, looking at Zack sideways. "I… screamed and ran out of the theater."

Silence fell deafly between them. Zack got up from the bed and began to pace back and forth across their bedroom floor. Cody watched him warily.

Zack stopped at their bedroom window, looking out at the city beyond. "So what does all…" he gestured between them, "_this_ say about us?"

Cody was twiddling his thumbs, not looking at his brother. His face still felt warm. "I really… don't know, Zack."

Zack spun around angrily and glared at him. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

Cody stood up, at that, and crossed his arms defensively. "What about you? Aren't you supposed to be good with girls? Whatever happened to Mr., '_Oh, I can get any chick I want_'?"

Zack's face went pink. "At least I didn't run away screaming when my girlfriend tried to put her hand down my pants."

Cody gaped at Zack, blustering. "Hypocrite! Linda Marley was _naked_ on your floor and you couldn't do anything about it you were so scared!"

"Whatever. At least I know what to _do_ with a girl. I bet you don't even know what a pussy looks like."

"At least _I'm_ not afraid of breasts," Cody shot back, red-faced. Zack paused, taking in his brother's glare with a knowing smirk. He could feel the perfect insult bubbling within him, and it passed through his lips before he could stop it.

"At least I'm not gay."

Cody froze.

Zack's eyes widened. He waved his hands in front of him, looking absolutely shocked at himself. "Cody!… I didn't—"

"Don't. You meant what you said."

A lengthy pause. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Does it matter?"

Cody turned away from Zack's wide eyes and sat back down upon his bed. Zack took two small steps toward Cody, one arm stretched out as if to touch his shoulder; then seemed to think better of it and took a seat on his own bed.

They looked across the room at one another. A long, awkward silence filled the space between them. Somewhere, a clock was ticking. Cody was the first to turn away.

Zack broke the silence, steepling his hands in front of him and staring at his brother. "Look, Cody. You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah." Cody's heartbeat felt loud inside his ears. Shut up, _shut up_.

"And… if you were… _gay_, well. I'd be able to handle it."

"…Yeah."

"I would."

"Okay, Zack." Cody pulled back his covers, hands shaking. He slipped into bed and drew the blankets over his head. He turned to face the wall.

"…Cody?"

"_Goodnight_, Zack."

A slow minute passed, in which neither of them spoke. Then, quietly, from across the room…

"Goodnight."

Cody listened to the sounds of shoes being removed and blankets being pulled back, remaining absolutely still… all the while wishing he could drown out the buzzing in his skull.


	4. Cody Spills His Tea

"Zackary David Martin! Get your butt in here right now!" When there was no answer from the bedroom, the voice grew louder and more high-pitched. "You have some _serious_ explaining to do."

Zack groaned and rolled over. _Sweet Jesus_. He pressed his face firmly into his pillow.

"I'll be out in a minute," he grumbled in the general direction of the door.

Memories from last night's conversation with Cody hit Zack like a ton of bricks, causing him to groan a second time; albeit for slightly different reasons. He lifted his head from the pillow long enough to glance over at his brother's bed. _Empty_.

Cody was probably still mad at him, then. Zack didn't blame him. God, what had possessed him to say something so _stupid_?

"I thought I said now!" his mother's angry voice wafted from the living room.

"Coming, Mummy." Zack slipped out of bed and padded quietly out the door.

Zack's arms prickled uncomfortably at the look Carey was giving him. "Care to explain where you were last night at _eleven thirty, pm_?"

Zack attempted to shrug the question away. "I'm sorry, okay? My date with Linda went a little over."

Carey stared at her son. "Then why didn't you _call_? And what kind of _date_ takes four hours to finish?"

Zack stuck out his chin. "Maybe none of _your_ dates last that long, but—"

"Oh, that is _it_, do you hear? I don't care if it is Saturday; you are grounded until further notice."

Zack interrupted, a thought ocurring to him. "Where's Cody?"

Carey paused, taken aback by Zack's _non sequitur_. She thought about the question. "At the library. Like he is every Saturday morning."

"Oh, yeah."

Carey peered at him curiously; severely. "Did you hear what I said, Zackary? You are _not_ leaving this room until Thursday. I won't accept any negotiating."

"Okay, mother, I hear you." Zack bowed his head in shame. Only to look up again seconds later. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

Carey shrugged. "I suppose it depends." She pursed her lips at him, crossing her arms. "Why, did you need him for something?"

Zack scowled. "Why do you always assume I need him for something? Can't I just want to have a heart-to-heart with my _own brother_?" He put a hand across his chest.

Carey gave him a _look_ that said everything.

"Whatever." Zack padded over to the kitchen and opened the cereal cupboard.

_Dang it! No more cocoa puffs._

He glanced at the couch and was taken aback to see Carey smirking at him. Zack raised an eyebrow. She hummed innocently. "Is there a breeze in here, or is it just me?"

He stared at her. "Huh?"

"Pajamas not in style any more?"

Zack looked down at himself. He was standing in his boxers. Great.

"Can't a man walk around half naked when he wants to?" he grumbled irritably. Carey grinned in his direction as he padded back into the bedroom for a change of clothes.

Today just wasn't his day.

A stack of books by his side and a steaming mug of green tea in his lap, and Cody _still_ wasn't feeling up to snuff. Today just wasn't his day.

Cody sipped at his tea and stared down at the book in his lap. In the library he'd flirted with the non-fiction isle briefly, but had eventually decided he wasn't in the mood for reality. Of course, the fiction section had been filled with crappy 'young adult' novels, which were really teeny-bopper romance novels in disguise, but after some searching he'd stumbled upon a few classics he hoped might take his mind off everything.

He was sitting in his usual spot on the stone steps outside the library doors, reading quietly to himself while basking in the afternoon sun. His neck and back were getting nice and toasty, and the book was a good one, but each time he allowed his mind to drift he ended up scowling again and ruining his good mood.

No matter how Cody tried to distract himself, his mind kept returning to his brother, and what Zack had said to him the night before…

_At least I'm not __gay__, Cody. At least I'm not gay. At least I'm not—_

He shut his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. He ran his fingers loosely through his warm blonde hair and tried to refocus on his book. _Phileas Fogg bet that he could sail around the world in eighty days_…_in_ _eighty days_.

Cody knew there was no use dwelling in the past, of course. Zack had been angry with Cody when he'd said it. Cody had been angry with Zack. Harsh words had been said on both sides, in the heat of the moment. Words that... neither of them had meant.

Except Zack _had_ meant it. Cody had been able to tell by the look in his brother's eyes as he'd said it, and afterward, when Zack had seemed so… stricken.

Zack thought Cody was gay. But Cody _wasn't_ gay.

Cody looked down, realizing he'd spilled tea on himself. He also realized, as he was sopping up the mess with one of the baby-wipes he carried around with him at all times, that he'd been reading the same sentence again and again for the past ten minutes. He put aside his book and tea, irritated.

_Get a grip_. _There's no reason to fall apart over this_.

Just because he liked to knit, and cook, and _clean_ didn't mean Cody was gay. So what if he did dress rather well for a boy his age? And listened to classical music. _And_ had really bad luck around girls, except for when he was sharing his deepest emotions.

Fact was, none those things made Cody gay. They just made him… a geek. A sad, skinny little geek who would never measure up to his smooth-talking older brother.

Cody frowned, looking at his arms. Not that there was anything… wrong with being gay. It was just that Cody _wasn't_.

He didn't find guys attractive in the slightest. Guys were revolting. They enjoyed potty humor. And liked to... smell their own armpits. And had stupid fights over who was manlier than whom.

Girls were sweet, and soft, and kind, and actually listened to Cody when he was upset. For God's sake, Cody liked _girls_!

_You certainly like to dress like one, too, don't you?_ Zack's voice taunted him.

Cody growled at himself. Why was he having all these doubts about himself all of a sudden? He'd never doubted his sexuality before. Not even once!

_Maybe that's the problem... You've never really given it much thought at all. Have you?_

"Argh—_shut up_!" Cody yelled, slapping at his ears. A couple of pigeons that had been perching on the lion statue by Cody's head were startled from their roosts, and flapped away hooting. He scowled at their backs.

Cody wasn't gay, and he would _prove_ it to his brother if he had to.

Somehow.


	5. Zack Is A Man With A Plan

Zack was lounging around on the couch when Cody entered the suite carrying a pile of books. At first Cody didn't appear to notice he was there. Zack gazed at him somewhat guiltily, then cleared his throat to announce his presence. Cody started, turning around to face him.

"So… Cody," he began, "Have fun at the library?"

Cody looked at him with wary eyes. "Sure..." He raised an eyebrow, glaring at Zack over his bookstack. "Why...?" The word was long, drawn out. Suspicious.

"No reason," Zack said, smiling brightly. "Come on in and sit down, Mom's out. She had to run a few errands." He patted the space beside him on the couch. Cody looked at the couch but didn't come any closer.

Zack sighed. "Come on, Codes. You're not going to be weird about this, are you?"

Cody's eyes widened indignantly. "_Weird_? About what? The fact that you're sitting there, acting like you _care_ about me all of a sudden, or about that thing you said to me last night?"

"The other one." Zack paused, looking confused. He shook a finger at Cody. "Hang on a sec, I do care about you."

"Uh huh." Cody placed his tower of books on the countertop and pulled out a chair, taking a seat. He cracked open a book and sat facing the window with a calm expression, for all appearances perfectly happy with ignoring Zack for the rest of the day.

"_Look_. I'm sorry about what I said, all right? I didn't mean it."

"_Uh huh_."

Zack growled. "Would you stop 'uh huh'-ing for a minute and come here? We should talk about this."

Cody seemed unimpressed. "_You_ want talk about your emotions." He put a hand over his heart, still not looking up from his book. "To me. That's a first."

"No it's not," Zack said, looking at his brother seriously. "What do you call last night?"

Cody fiddled with some mail that was lying on the countertop, fully intending to ignore Zack's attempts to apologize. But after a moment he let out a puff of air and rolled his eyes. "Fine, Zack. Whatever." He slammed the book shut, got up and walked to the couch. "Scoot over," he grumbled.

Zack complied. Cody refused to look him in the eye, so Zack said, carefully, "I meant what I said before- you know, about supporting you?"

Cody feigned ignorance. "What are you talking about, Zack?"

"_You_ know." Zack leaned in. "That if you were… _gay_, I wouldn't hate you. I'm still your brother." He gave Cody a small smile, aiming a light punch at his shoulder, but Cody avoided the contact, curling in on himself.

"I _mean_ it. I'm here for you." Zack put a hand on Cody's thigh. Cody shook it off, moving away from him on the couch. "Cody-"

"God, Zack," Cody spat finally, face red as he turned to look at him. "Why are you so convinced I'm gay all of a sudden?" Zack drew back in distress.

"Look, I'm not trying to insult you—"

"Is it because of the way I dress?"

"What?" Zack balked. "No!"

"Then _why_—"

Zack slapped a hand over Cody's mouth, frustrated. Cody jerked away. "What the hell, Zack?"

"Stop being a _douche_ for a second and let me explain. You're making this way harder than it has to be." Cody scowled, but complied. He seemed to come to some sort of decision, and sat back with crossed arms. He eyed Zack with cool disinterest.

Zack sighed. This was not going to be easy. "It's not any _one_ thing, okay?"

Cody looked like he was about to interrupt, but Zack made a 'zip-it' motion, and Cody's jaw snapped shut. "Hear me out."

Zack held up a hand, counting on his fingers as he spoke. "First, there's the way you always seem to miss the point of my schemes to get girls to fall for me." Cody rolled his eyes, and Zack ignored him. "And the way you focus on your work to this... obsessive degree. You _always_ have some excuse to cancel your dates with the girls at school- even Barbara, who's your girlfriend." He put up another hand at Cody's indignant expression. "I'm talking about long before that movie date, even. And you absolutely refuse to go babe-spotting with me anymore."

Cody sputtered, unable to stay quiet. "Just because I'm not a sexist pig like you, does _not_ mean—"

"Shhh!" Zack pressed a finger to his brother's lips. Cody seriously considered biting it off. "Me talk. No you talk. Capeesh?" Cody glared but kept his mouth shut. Zack removed his finger. "Good." He continued. "Then, of course, there's the way you're always mothering everybody. No offense." Zack thought. "Let's see, what else? You iron all your clothes. You're fashion conscious. You pick up after everyone, and you're way better at cooking than anyone else I know…. When that hawk thing got loose inside the hotel you took care of its egg as if it were your own _baby_, and wouldn't let anyone else near it. You're also so in tune with everyone else's emotions."

Zack paused, putting a hand on Cody's shoulder. "You have a heart of _gold_, Cody. You're not afraid to cry when you have to."

He took in his brother's sullen posture and bright eyes and sat back. "Look, man, those aren't necessarily bad things. Most of it is pretty positive. Girls go _crazy_ over that emotional, touchy-feely stuff." Zack stopped, deliberately waiting for Cody to look at him.

"Of course... it doesn't make much of a difference, either way, if you aren't interested in girls in the first place. Now does it?"

Cody raised his hand with an ominous expression. "Yes, Cody?" Zack said, sarcastically.

"Can I talk now?"

"Shoot." Cody wiped his cheek- which was _not_ wet- and sat up.

"_Right_. Regardless of the fact that everything you just listed as 'evidence of my gayness' follows society's flat, outdated stereotypes about what gay men should be, there's still one _huge_ flaw in your argument." Cody blinked, schooling his features into a calm expression.

Zack stared at him, not understanding. Unable to maintain his air of scientific disinterest, Cody rolled his eyes.

"Okay, here... Let me make it easy for you." He leaned in very, very close. "I. Don't. Like. Men."

His chest heaved as he delivered the line, but Zack remained unintimidated. Instead, he simply asked, "Are you totally sure about that?"

Cody startled. "What? Of course I'm sure."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Really." Zack crossed his arms. "'Cause you don't sound very sure."

"Well, I am."

"You _are_?"

"Yes, damn you! I'm sure!" Cody face flushed a pretty shade of pink.

Zack gave Cody a slow, deliberate smile. Cody wasn't sure he liked that look, and after hearing Zack's next words, he understood why.

"Would you be willing to... test that theory?"

Cody's mind went blank. "Huh?" He blinked.

Zack shrugged. "I said, would you—"

"I heard you," Cody interrupted, crossing his arms tighter against his chest.

"Good. Because... there is one simple way to know for sure if you're gay."

Cody's lips moved silently as he repeated Zack's words in his head. After a moment, it clicked, and he glared at his older brother. "This isn't another one of your hare-brained, embarrassingly twin-reliant schemes, is it?"

"Oh, it is," Zack grinned. He paused, grin morphing to a remorseful frown. He peeked at Cody from under his lashes, eyeing the irritated bow of Cody's mouth. "Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't tell you." He examined his nail beds, brows raised. "I don't think you're ready to hear it."

Cody continued to glare and Zack relented. "Kidding, sheesh. I'll tell you." He patted the couch beside him. "But first... you're gonna have to come closer."

Cody stared at Zack suspiciously. "Why…"

"Come _over_ here, and I'll tell you."

Cody moved a bit closer, but stopped just short of the spot Zack was indicating with his hand. His face went slack.

Zack wagged a finger at him, a disturbing smile stretched across his features. "Now, now, Cody... don't be difficult. I said, come _here_." He opened his arms. "I promise not to bite. I'll even pinky swear to it, if that makes you feel any better."

"Zack, I think I just realized what your plan is, and if it _is_ what I'm thinking, I'm telling you right now, it's a stupid plan."

Zack looked put out. "It's not stupid! You don't even know what it is!"

Cody crossed his arms, unimpressed. "You want me to use you as a stand-in male test subject, _kiss_ you, and then afterward tell you if I felt anything."

"… Okay, so you do know my plan," Zack said slowly. He pouted. "It's not stupid!"

"Hello, Zack, yes it is," Cody said, waving his hands. "You're my brother, of course I'm not going to feel anything."

"It's worth a try," Zack shot back. "You don't see any other guys lining up to volunteer, do you?" He poked Cody squarely in the chest. "Think about it. This may be the only chance you get in a long time to figure out if you like _men_," Zack drew out the word, "or not."

Cody stared at him, shaking his head in disbelief. By God, he was completely serious. "I really think it might help," Zack continued. Cody looked away, and his twin sighed. "Just—don't think of it as kissing your brother. Pretend I'm some random, hunky man you just met in the lobby."

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" Cody joked weakly. "As if I'd kiss someone I just met."

"That's the spirit!" Zack pumped a fist like the dork he was, and rolled his eyes at Cody's offended glare. "Just pretend. It won't hurt you."

Cody played with his thumbs, brow furrowed. Unable to believe he was even considering this. "Even if I _were_ to go through with this—which I'm not sure that I am, by the way, your plan has 'stupid' written all over it—you haven't yet explained to me why you'd be willing to do this." He sent his brother a measured glance. "Blackmail? Something titillating to write in your blog?"

"It's because I'm a jerk," Zack countered darkly: suddenly intense. His eyes were bright thin rings of grey-green. "All right? And if I'm the kind of jerk who'd accuse someone of being gay like it was some kind of disease, then… well." He squared his shoulders, clearing his throat. "This is one jerk who's gonna help his little brother figure out who he is."

Cody scanned Zack's face for signs of mockery, and was surprised to find none. He squirmed a little under the open, honest scrutiny. All jokes had gone, and left a vacuum in their place.

The air felt uncomfortably warm on Cody's skin. He didn't know... _why_ he was even considering this. Part of him was still sure that Zack was keeping something from him, even now; some hidden motive.

And yet, there was something about Zack's face... And Cody found himself shrugging, eyes downcast.

"You know what, Zack? Even though it would technically be incest—making your idea morally wrong as well as conceptually stupid—I do…" he hesitated. "_Appreciate_ what you're trying to do for me." He scratched his neck. "It's nice to know that you care."

Zack seemed bothered by something Cody had said. "Don't think of it as _incest_, that sounds so… gross," Zack said, making a face. "Think of it as… making out with yourself. But with assistance." He smiled, opening his arms. "So we doing this thing or not?"

Cody grimaced. He was _so_ going to regret this. "Despite my better judgment… maybe." He pointed at Zack sharply. "But don't think it's because I'm desperate."

"Although you _are_ desperate."

"Shut up," said Cody. More seriously, he said, "You'd better hope mom doesn't come home and see us while we're… you know." They shuddered collectively.

"That would be hard to explain," Zack agreed, horror flashing briefly across his face.

Cody inched closer to his brother on the couch, hands growing warm and clammy. This close, he could count the freckles on Zack's nose. Cody eyed the other boy's plump pink lips with some trepidation. All jokes aside, Cody did have a few major reservations about the wisdom of this plan. He thought of Zack and himself as being very close; best friends, even. But what if something went horribly wrong?

"Zack… whatever happens…"

"Hmm?"

Cody swallowed. "You have to promise that this won't… you know. Change things."

"Right."

Cody glared at his twin. "Promise me."

"Okay, I _promise_ you," Zack rolled his eyes. "Jeez."

The brothers fell into silence.

Though it had been his idea, Zack seemed reluctant to be the one to initiate anything. Cody didn't really blame him. Ignoring the whole 'brothers' thing was kind of difficult when looking at the person you were supposed to kiss was like looking in a mirror. Zack leaned in hesitantly, and Cody did the same.

"Together, okay? On three, we'll do it," Zack said, the small waver in his voice betraying his outward projection of confidence. "One…? Two… three."

Neither boy moved.

Cody's eyes squeezed shut. "_Crap_! I can't, Zack. I can't do it."

Zack looked at his brother calmly. "Don't be such a baby. We're doing this for _you_, remember? Just think: if you do turn out to be gay, then… hey, you're gay. No big deal." He shrugged. "And if the kiss does nothing for you, then you're not. Either way, you'll know."

Cody peeked at him. "That's easy for you to say; you're not the one who's on trial here." He opened his eyes the rest of the way, glaring. "And I don't see you jumping to do it either."

Zack crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Well, I wouldn't, would I? I'm not gay."

"What kind of logic is _that_?" Cody threw up his hands, "Ugh, you're so frustrating…"

"And you're a complete wimp."

"Enough with the insults." Cody rubbed his temple. "Look, can we just get this over with?" he pleaded, "And then we can forget it ever happened."

"Agreed," Zack nodded. "Go ahead then, I'm ready." He sat up straight. "Just remember," he warned, eyes closing, "I'm not Zack. I'm some random hottie from off the street."

_Some random hottie_. Right. Cody wet his lips with a careful tongue, but then it occurred to him that the feel of fresh spit on his skin might freak Zack out. Alarmed, he swiped his lips dry again with his sleeve. _This is ridiculous. It's just a little peck._

Summoning all his courage, he took a deep breath and counted to three. Then, before he could change his mind, Cody surged forward, planting the lightest of kisses upon Zack's pliant lips.

Electricity shot through him where their skin touched. Cody gasped and drew back at once.

"You shocked me," Cody complained, pressing a hand to his tingling lips.

Zack opened one eye and glared at him. "Stop messing around, Cody, this is serious!"

"It's true, you did…" Cody trailed off. "Sorry." He started to lean in for a second attempt, but Zack put a hand on his chest.

"Don't. Let me," Zack berated him. "You'll just do it wrong again."

"Fine." An idea occured to Cody, and he gave Zack a wicked smirk. He sat back on his hands and raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Go ahead, then, Zack," Cody drawled. "Kiss me."

Zack's eyes widened, as if he was surprised Cody would agree so easily. Then he stuck out his chin, refusing to be fazed. "_Fine_, I will. Once you stop staring at me with those… googley eyes." He hesitated. Cody blew him a kiss.

"Quit it!" Zack gestured at Cody's face, irritated. "Close 'em already."

Cody obeyed with a smirk, shutting his eyes. They'd be waiting forever at this rate.

Because, deep down—and for all his bluster and moral rhetoric claiming otherwise—the truth was that Zack was homophobic. Zack's original plan had clearly been designed so that Zack could sit back, comfortable in his masculinity, and let Cody take all the risks. As _always_ was the case with his plans. He created the schemes while Cody got to do all the work. Zack made the messes, Cody cleaned them up.

Well, this time, Cody wasn't buying it. If Zack wanted to _talk the talk_, he was gonna have to walk the-

"_Oo__mf_!" Soft lips pressed firmly into Cody's own, startling him from his thoughts. His eyes snapped open, zeroing in on a lightly freckled nose. A mouth moved slowly against his, warm skin stroking skin.

"Mmf," Zack agreed smugly, sticking his hand in Cody's hair. He captured Cody's lower lip and sucked on it gently. Cody's eyes rolled back into his head.

Cody shivered as the lips caressed his own, tugging at thin and sensitive skin. They stroked the curve of Cody's mouth, asking to deepen the kiss. Breathless, Cody let him, his heart galloping anew, and Zack pressed harder, breathing hard.

When the hand in his hair slid down to grasp his neck, and its brother took firm command of Cody's hip, Cody had to bite his lip to restrain an embarrassingly loud moan.

The mouth slid across Cody's lips and skated off unexpectedly to rain kisses upon his cheek and jaw, each point of contact making Cody's stomach leap, before drifting back to his mouth. A new kind of electricity was pulsing in his blood, singeing his mouth, searing his skin. The sensations were heady. Powerful. He had never felt so good.

And where had Zack learned to _kiss_ like this?

"Oh my God…" he groaned, when Zack's mouth returned to his neck and sucked. He leaned his head to the side to give Zack better access, and Zack smirked against his shoulder.

The warmth left by the trail of kisses traveled thickly through Cody's body, collecting deep within his belly. It was absolutely... amazing. He didn't understand it, but there seemed to be, however impossible, a direct connection between the sweet, _hot_ skin of Zack's lips, and the hard, growing length of Cody's—

"Jesus!" Cody yelped, coming to his senses. He pulled away and pressed a hand to his swollen lips, staring at his brother with wide eyes. Zack returned the bewildered gaze, breathing heavily.

The two brothers looked at one another, embarrassment flushing their cheeks a dull red.

Words escaped Cody completely. He felt light-headed and strange. Zack's mouth opened, and closed again with a snap. His lips looked faintly bruised, and Cody imagined his own fared little better.

"Cody…" Zack whispered, amazed. "I—"

The door to the suite opened with a _bang_. "I'm home!" Carey sang.

The boys leapt apart.

Carey lowered her bags to the floor and took in the odd sight of her sons, each clutching an armrest and staring at her from opposite ends of the couch.

"Everything... okay in here?" She asked, peering at their red faces. "Did you two have a fight?"

"N-no," Cody stammered guiltily. He crossed one leg over the other to hide the growing bulge in his jeans. Zack came to his rescue.

"He means yes. We, uh—couldn't decide what movie to watch. So we got angry."

Cody nodded, catching on. "Yeah! He... wanted to watch the game, and I wanted to watch… um. Horror."

Zack shot him an exasperated glare.

Carey raised an eyebrow at the both of them and crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed.

Zack interjected, thinking quickly. "By... 'horror', Cody meant… _Little Shop of Horrors_." He slapped Cody across the back. "It's his all time favorite; isn't that right, Cody?"

"What? Oh, yes." Cody made a claw with one hand, feeling awkward. "'Feeeeed meee! Feeeed meee!' Hehe…" he giggled nervously. "Classic…"

"But we're not fighting any more," Zack said, grabbing Cody's elbow and pulling him against him, as if to demonstrate. "Are we, Codes."

"Nope! All fed up with... being mad." Cody was extremely aware of Zack's side pressing warmly into his own. Hoping it didn't show on his face.

At Carey's continued look of disbelief, Zack's face morphed into that of a doting son. "So… how was your trip, Mummy?"

"…To the grocery store?" Carey asked, eyeing the boys with concern. Zack and Cody grinned anxiously.

"Er... yes?" Their grins faltered under Carey's careful scrutiny. But after a moment of tense silence, Carey shrugged.

"It was fine, thanks for asking. Someone come help me with these groceries."

"On it!" Cody said, leaping up to help.

While their mother ranted on about some old friend she'd crashed into at the supermarket, Cody used the distraction to peek at Zack over the refrigerator door. Zack had apparently taken their mother's request for help in the kitchen as his cue to sit back turn on the television. Cody watched him closely, taking in every detail as he pretended to put food away. But Zack looked entirely unaffected; for all points and purposes as if nothing out of the ordinary had transpired.

Cody swallowed and turned away, heart pounding. He didn't know what to think.


	6. The Aftermath

"He aims…" Zack held his breath as he carefully executed the throw. The ball sailed through the air and made it through the hoop without a hitch.

"And... swoosh, nothing but net! The crowd goes wild. They can't believe it! Aaaahhh…" He cupped hands around his mouth, making hissing noises.

The ball bounced a few times on the bedroom floor before rolling under Cody's bed.

Zack sighed. _Wow… could this be any more boring?_

Being grounded sucked. Cody was off having fun in the lobby downstairs, while Zack had been stuck in their stupid suite for the past day and a half. For all the times Zack had been grounded in his life, he'd never been a slave to the experience for very long. He'd always found some way of escaping, or making Cody fill in his time for him, or making their mother believe that Zack was asleep in his room when really he was off skateboarding in the park. He didn't think there'd ever been a time he'd had to carry out the punishment for more than a couple of days.

Unfortunately for him, most of Zack's plans only worked in the first place because Cody was helping him carry them out, usually by providing some kind of distraction. But Cody was avoiding him like the plague, so Zack was fresh out of luck.

And this time their mother seemed determined to keep Zack prisoner.

Carey had sealed all the ventilation covers in room 2330 shut with Arwin's help, including the two in the closet and the one in the bathroom. She was currently sitting on the living room couch just one room over. Zack would never be able to sneak out without getting caught.

He heaved himself out of bed and marched over to Cody's. He got down on his belly and lifted the bed ruffle, searching for the tennis ball he'd been using for his imaginary tournament. He finally spotted it, but it was all the way on the other side.

Groaning, he made his way around the bed on all fours. Zack couldn't believe he'd been reduced to this. Sad as it was, that tennis ball was his only source of entertainment, other than Cody's shelf of poetry; and Zack didn't care how boring things got, he wasn't about to go anywhere near Cody's bookcase. If he so much as touched Cody's prized Lord Byron-whatever collection, Cody would never speak to him again. And Cody was angry enough as it was.

Zack lifted the ball, squeezing it angrily in his grip.

Life was out to get him. Zack was sure of it.

He got back into bed and sat up against the headboard, reviewing the evidence.

Exhibit A. Zack flirts with pretty girls all his life, and all of them say no; then, out of the blue, he lands some hot date who's perfectly willing to give it up for him but who _freaks Zack out_—ironically, by virtue of being too forward with him. Zack chickens out half-way through attempted coitus and escapes with his virginity intact. Mission not accomplished!

Exhibit B. While ranting about said sexual nightmare to Cody, Zack accidentally lets slip that he holds Cody's sexuality suspect. When Zack tries to make it up to him later by apologizing and explaining himself, Cody snubs him. When Zack tries to suggest a simple solution, Cody verbally abuses him, eventually relents to Zack's plan, only to end up snubbing him again.

Zack threw the ball straight up and caught it as it fell.

The worst part about the whole thing—the part that made all the rest of it seem easy, even fun—was that Zack had gone into that _stupid little kiss_ expecting to help Cody learn about himself_._ But what Zack had ended up learning was something… entirely different. And unwelcome. And morally repugnant in every way.

Cody had been totally, completely, and utterly right. Using your brother as a gauge for attraction was a phenomenally stupid idea.

The good news was that Zack's plan had worked. Cody now had his answer… after hearing the way Cody had moaned and gasped under Zack's every caress, that answer would've been obvious to anyone. Cody was definitely interested in men.

The bad news? Zack had been left with a whole lot of unexpected questions.

Such as: why had Zack enjoyed it?

That hadn't been part of the original equation. Zack hadn't bargained on _liking_ it.

His brother. His best friend. A cohort that Zack had been pranking with practically since birth. Someone he trusted, someone he counted on. Someone who sacrificed for Zack daily, just because.

And of course, Zack had done the same for Cody. Occasionally.

Kind of.

Zack rolled over, tucking the ball against his chest. Thinking.

Sure, Zack had bullied Cody mercilessly since they were kids for being the nerdy wimp that he was. But that was different. Zack was Cody's older brother. It was practically his job.

Besides, Zack was the only person allowed to bully him. Zack had been a good brother to Cody in that respect, at least. He'd always defended Cody when Cody had needed him; kept other people from disrespecting him.

...Most of the time.

Zack tossed the tennis ball at the net again. This time it didn't go through.

Crap, now he'd have to go get it.

Zack's main problem was that he wasn't nearly as good as Cody was at analyzing his own emotions. He didn't know _what_ he'd been feeling during that kiss.

Sure, his breathing had become labored... his mouth had gone dry… and he'd definitely liked Cody's moans.

But that didn't have to mean anything, did it? Cody sounded an awful lot like a girl when he was moaning.

And sure, his heart had been beating rather fast. But that was probably just a direct result of the whole… breathing thing.

"Damn it."

Zack could make excuses all he liked, but there was no explaining away the fact that he was getting hard _now_, hours afterward, just at the thought of kissing Cody.

Well, that, and the smooth, freckled skin of Cody's neck as it stretched under Zack's mouth... the hum of Cody's groans vibrating up through Zack's lips… Cody's whispered prayer, his ragged breathing…

Zack didn't even realize he was standing until he looked down to see himself kicking his bed angrily. That didn't produce a satisfying enough _crunch_, so he switched to punching the wall instead.

"Stupid…" Kick. "Not…" Punch. "Gay…" A picture frame fell with a crack.

"Zack!" Carey hollered from the other room. "Stop beating up the furniture!"

He leapt onto his bed with a groan, face pressing into his pillow. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't cry.

He was so screwed.

* * *

Cody was, in fact, in the lobby, but it would have been a bit of a stretch to claim that any sort of 'fun' was going on.

He was lying on one of the stretch couches sullenly. Staring at the ceiling. Not speaking a word to anyone.

Moesby had cornered him once already, complaining that Cody was taking up living space that could have been used by more valuable guests. Cody had barely reacted, apologizing to Moesby in a low voice. Moesby hadn't really known how to deal with Cody's strange mood, having expected Cody to protest and plead as usual. But at Cody's lethargic response, Moesby decided to do something he rarely did, and left him alone. He figured Cody was just having a rough day and needed some space. Everyone had those days once in a while.

London and Maddie were eyeing Cody worriedly from the candy counter. He hadn't moved from his spot on the couch in over an hour.

"Should we go talk to him?" Maddie asked London under her breath.

London scoffed. She waved her hand in Cody's direction. "Definitely. Somebody needs to have an intervention with that boy. Stripes _and_ plaid?"

"So not the point here," Maddie whispered. "If you're not gonna say something to him I will. Watch the counter for me—I'm going in."

"Okay!" London smiled happily, but didn't move.

Maddie sighed.

"How 'bout you try watching it from the _other_ side of the counter?"

"Okay!" London shuffled around accordingly. Maddie rolled her eyes and made her way to where Cody was sulking, taking a seat on one of the sofas next to Cody's couch.

"Cody, sweetie… are you feeling okay?"

"No…" Cody moaned, eyes closed. "But I don't want to talk about it."

"Did something happen with you and… Barbara?" She asked quietly, remembering the name of his girlfriend. Cody shook his head, not opening his eyes.

"Did something happen between you and Zack?"

Cody didn't respond for several moments, then nodded sadly.

"You two get into a fight?"

Cody shook his head. "No…. It's too hard to explain, though. I don't think you'd understand."

Maddie stared at him, making up her mind. She held out a hand. "Come on. We'll go talk about it over lunch—on me, okay?"

Cody turned to look at her, finally. "I thought you were saving up for school?"

Maddie waved his objection away with a smile. "Don't you worry about that, it's not too much for me to spend on a friend." She put a hand on his shoulder. "You look like you need it."

Cody sat up slowly, giving her a small smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes, Maddie noticed, but it was a start. "Thanks, Maddie."

"Not a problem. Come on, let's go." She took his hand, helping him up, and called over to London her shoulder.

"London, you coming?"

London stared at them disbelievingly. "Why would I want to go somewhere stodgy and cheap when I can just order in at my fabulous suite? Caviar and Crème Brule! Yay me!" She clapped excitedly.

"Good point," Maddie said, expression conveying her irritated disbelief. "Bye, then… I guess we'll catch up with you later."

"Fine with me!"

Maddie wrapped her arm around Cody's shoulder, pushing him in the direction of the door. He protested weakly. "But what about your job at the candy counter? You don't really trust London to look after it all by herself, do you?" Cody asked. He looked over at London, who was picking at her teeth while looking at a handheld mirror, and then at Mr. Moesby, who was typing up some sort of business email at the front desk.

"It's my break in a couple of minutes anyway," Maddie said. "We've got about thirty minutes. How does pizza sound?"

Cody gave her his first genuine smile of the evening.


	7. Maddie Lends An Ear

They chose a booth by the window. Maddie sat on one side, Cody on the other. They talked for a while about random subjects, like school and London and the hotel. But soon, Maddie brought up the giant, pink elephant in the room.

"So… this argument you had with Zack," she began hesitantly, folding her napkin.

Cody looked up from his white vegetarian pizza.

"I told you, it wasn't an argument." At Maddie's questioning gaze, Cody sighed. He knew she wouldn't give up asking questions until he told her _something_. He cast about for an explanation he could provide that wouldn't give too much away.

"It's kind of stupid," he said, finally. "Last night Zack said something that made me really mad. And then this morning, when I got home from the Library, he just kept pushing the subject." Cody picked a tomato off his pizza, chewing it thoughtfully. "He proposed this really stupid plan to make it up to me, and I, even more stupidly, went along with it. And now things are weird between us, just like he promised they wouldn't be."

Maddie sipped her ginger ale, looking at him curiously. Cody's eyes dimmed. "What did he say to you that made you mad?"

He slurped his tea, then slammed the mug down forcefully. He stared at Maddy, eyes bright. "He accused me of being…you know." He lowered his voice. "Gay."

Maddie's eyes widened. "He didn't!"

"Oh, he did."

Maddie took a bite of her lasagna. "That was kind of mean of him." She swallowed. "But why'd you get so upset by it?"

"What do you mean? He called me gay."

"Is that such an insult?" Maddie looked at him knowingly over her drink.

"Yes! Well, no, not in general... but you should have heard the way he said it." Cody wiped his hands on a napkin. "Zack's called me a lot of things over the years, but he's _never_ called me… that. It's this unspoken rule we have." He gestured uselessly. "We just don't say things like that to each other." He stared sadly at her.

Maddie twirled her fork on her plate, mulling over Cody's words. "The Sisters at Our Ladies of Perpetual Sorrow have always taught their students that homosexuality is a sin. But you know, two of my mother's uncles are gay, and in love." Cody stared at her. "Not with each other, of course!" She said hastily, dropping her fork. She cleared her throat. "What I meant to say... is that Jim and Bruce are two of my nicest relatives." She smiled suddenly. "Sure, they hate my parents, but hey, who can blame them?" Maddie laughed at her own joke, slapping the table. Cody's somber expression didn't budge, and Maddie wilted. "My point is: being gay isn't such a bad thing. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"I know that." Cody froze. "Hold up. You think I'm gay too!" he glowered at Maddie with a betrayed expression. "God, why does everyone think that about me?"

Maddie held up her hands defensively at Cody's glare.

"I didn't say I thought you were…." She chose a different tact. "But don't you think you're over reacting to Zack's insult just a little bit?"

"No." Cody crossed his arms and turned away. "I knew you wouldn't understand."

Maddie reached out and put her hand over Cody's own. "Explain it to me, then. I'm just trying to help."

Cody scowled. "I don't need some speech about how homosexuality is fine and dandy. I know that, I just don't think I'm gay. And I'm tired of people insinuating that I'm weak."

"Being gay doesn't make you weak."

"Maybe not, but being weak is definitely the reason everyone thinks I'm gay."

Maddie squeezed his hand. "Who thinks that?"

"All the guys at school, for starters." Cody winced. "They call me girly… and Mom is always praising me for my more feminine traits. Cooking… and cleaning…."

Maddie put her hands on her hips, glaring at him. Cody shrank back. "I'm surprised at you, Cody! For a feminist you've managed to hold on to some pretty sexist ways of thinking. Cooking and cleaning aren't 'girly' any more than being smart is a guy thing."

Cody winced. "I know, Maddie. That's not what I meant."

"And regardless, having a feminine side doesn't make you weak."

Cody sighed, slouching back against the booth cushions. "Yeah, you try telling that to Zack."

"Why do you care so much what he thinks, any way? He may like to lord his age over you, but that doesn't make him better than you."

"He's my brother. I can't just ignore him for the rest of my life." Cody paused. He hadn't planned on telling Maddie about the experiment, but… perhaps he could use an ally in the face of all this emotional confusion? He wondered how Maddie would react if he told her. _I guess there's only one way to know._

Maddie was stirring her straw and staring grimly into her drink; probably trying to think of something else she could say to comfort Cody.

It was now or never.

"You don't know the whole story, yet," he began. Maddie looked up curiously.

Cody took a deep breath, looking Maddie in the eye. "Zack and I did something this morning…. Something highly ill advised. And I let him talk me into it." He looked away again. "I think he was trying to prove some kind of point, but now I'm even more confused than I was before."

Maddie stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

Cody tightened his hand around Maddie's. "Promise not to freak out if I tell you this?"

"I'll pinky swear," she promised, holding out her little finger and smiling. Cody took it, smiling back gratefully.

"Okay. Prepare yourself." He shut his eyes for strength, and spoke quietly. "When I got back from the library, Zack confronted me. He decided that the only way for us to know for sure whether I was gay or not was to conduct a… well, a test. His plan was... for us to k-kiss each other, and then afterward see if I felt any… you know." Cody blushed. "_Reaction_." He gulped. "But the problem is…well. I kind of _did_ have a reaction. But I still don't think that makes me gay. I've been doing some thinking, since this morning, and I've concluded that all it really proves is that Zack is a great kisser."

When Cody opened his eyes, Maddie was pale and looking at him slightly bug-eyed. "You two… _kissing_?"

Maddie looked sick, like she might pass out. Thinking fast, Cody leaned across the table and waved his hand frantically in front of her face. She snapped out of her daze, shaking her head, and gave Cody a grim smile.

"Thanks," she said slowly. "I… I think I need a moment. Be right back." She got out of the booth and ran to the bathroom. Cody put his face in his hands.

_Oh great. Now I've ruined my relationship with Maddie, too._

He waited nervously at the booth, wondering if maybe he should just write Maddie a quick note and leave before she could get back.

But Maddie was paying for the meal… and they hadn't even finished their lunch yet. Cody decided it would be better to wait, even if it meant having to face Maddie's reaction. He sat back down.

Cody drummed his fingers against the table, reflecting on Maddie's reaction. At least she hadn't gotten _angry_… although she had looked vaguely sick to her stomach. Cody wasn't sure if disgust was preferable to anger, or not.

He waited anxiously for several more minutes, and sagged with relief when Maddie finally appeared around the corner. She made her way back to the booth. Her smile was faint, but she looked decidedly more sturdy on her feet.

"Sorry about that, little guy. I washed my face… cleared my head. I think I'll be fine." She swallowed, and boldly took Cody's hand in her own. He looked at her, surprised that she seemed so calm.

"It's okay... I know that this whole thing is pretty… messed up." Cody gave her a small smile. "So thanks for not leaving me."

Maddie nodded, that bewildered look reappearing in her eyes. "Oh, it's crazy all right. But I wouldn't run away." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Especially not now that you need me. That wouldn't be very Christian of me, now would it?" She coughed sheepishly. Cody sat up straight, awaiting her verdict.

"So let's get down to business," she said. Cody drooped, faintly surprised that she wasn't dishing out moral advice like before, railing out against the evils of incest. "What?" Maddie asked, seeing his expression. "You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easily? I need details, Mister."

Cody stared, suddenly afraid. "Details?"

"It's nothing personal; I just won't be much help to you until I know what's going on." She gestured easily. "Start from the beginning."

Cody winced, looking around. Nobody was paying them any attention, but he didn't want to risk news of this conversation getting back to his mother.

"Fine. But can we do it some place... else? _Here_ is kind of public. And I really don't want Zack knowing we had this conversation."

Maddie shrugged. "My break is about to end soon, so now isn't a good time anyway. But later, okay?" She looked at Cody meaningfully. "I'll call you."

"Thanks a lot for this," he said as Maddie paid the bill and they got up to leave. "I'm really glad I can talk to you." He glanced at her sideways. "I was going to keep this a secret between me and Zack. I can't risk certain other people finding out about this."

He stopped as they exited the restaurant, turning to Maddie. "This _is_ going to stay a secret, right?" he asked, voice severe. "You have to promise me you won't tell anyone. I mean it. Not your siblings, not your parents, not even your uncles." Cody shuddered. "And especially not London."

Maddie waved it off, laughing. "'Course not. I won't tell a soul. You have my word."

They spoke no more about it, choosing instead to dwell on lighter subjects. All the way back to the hotel, they talked and laughed. Privately, Cody was still worried about what he was going to do once he got back to their suite. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to Zack, and would avoid him as long as he could.

He had no idea what he was going to do that night, for sleeping arrangements. Last night he had stayed over at Bob's, but Bob was out of town today. Bob had been pretty confused when he'd shown up without Zack, but Cody had told him about Zack being grounded and he'd stopped asking questions. Hopefully, Zack would just leave him alone tonight. Giving Cody time to figure out what to say to him.

Cody sighed. He'd deal with it later.


	8. Carey Makes Casserole

Back at the lobby, Cody spent a few more hours conversing with Maddie and snorting at London's various attempts to cheer him up by dishing out dirt about rich celebrities. London may have been dumber than a stick and selfish to boot, but even she had no trouble sensing Cody's sour mood, and did her best to make him smile.

The telephone rang. Cody barely noticed the sound, too busy laughing with London and Maddie, until Mr. Moesby called his name. He turned his head to see Moesby's raised eyebrows and expectant frown. Cody left the candy counter and walked over to see what he was needed for.

"Cody, your mother just called," he said with a big, fake smile. "She says it's time for dinner, and she wants you up there." Cody scowled. Moesby's smile dissolved. "_Immediately_," he said, gesturing toward the elevator.

Cody crossed his arms. "Well, tell her I'll be having dinner down here, instead."

Mr. Moesby eyes widened with amusement. "No, I don't think I will." Moesby returned the receiver to its hook pointedly, smirking at the resounding _click_-_ding_ that accompanied the motion. "Your mother seemed quite adamant that you have dinner in your _own_," he said, punctuating the last word sharply, "suite." Cody slowly reached up to wipe the spit off his face with the back of one arm.

He opened his mouth to respond.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Moesby interrupted, waving his finger. "No buts. Now get out of my lobby." He exhaled through his nose in a perfunctory way and returned to his paper work, mumbling to himself as Cody walked away. "Uh, look at me. I've turned into a walking, talking child corral…."

Cody glanced down at his watch. It was only 7:30. He felt the beginnings of panic settle in as he imagined what would happen once he got to the suite, and Cody tried in vain to think up some pretext that would allow him stay downstairs just a little longer.

He spun around and walked toward the front desk, a fresh excuse perched upon his lips; but Moesby's glare stopped him in his tracks.

He drooped, revolving in place. He made his way over to the candy counter, waving dully at London and Maddie as he neared them. They sent him pitying glances.

"Wish me luck," he bit out, trudging across the room to the elevator.

London called out to him as Cody passed, "Okay. Good luck!"

Cody groaned as he stepped into the elevator, pressing the button that denoted his doom.

Cody listened bleakly to the unseen grinding of gears and gentle slide of pulleys that orchestrated the elevator's steady upward climb.

At floors _5_ and _12_ other passengers climbed aboard. Cody barely registered their arrival; too busy dreading what awaited him at his own destination. Still others came and left. By number_21_ he was all alone once more.

_Ding_. Floor _23_.

The doors slid open with a low grumble. Cody didn't realize his eyes were closed until he opened them.

He stepped out onto the landing.

* * *

Carey put a hand on her hip. "Aha! Here comes my little hermit now," she said as Cody opened the door to the suite. Cody rolled his eyes at her and sat down in his usual spot at the dinner table.

"What's for dinner?" he asked, testing the air with a quick sniff. He concluded that no earthly food could possibly have produced such an aroma, and almost regretted not arriving earlier; maybe then something edible could have been salvaged.

"Broccoli and carrot casserole," Carey replied cheerfully.

"…You're joking."

"Cody?" A noise like angry cattle trumpeted from somewhere within the bedroom. The door opened with a _bang_, causing Cody to leap up out of his chair.

Zack came running out barefoot, skidding to a stop on the linoleum. He spotted Cody and made a beeline for the kitchen.

Cody paled, holding up his arms to defend himself even as his brother collided with his chest. Cody's eyes squeezed shut, muscles tensing in anticipation of the beating that was sure to follow.

He flinched at a sudden breeze over his face, but was surprised after several moments to find his body still intact. Even more surprising was how arms circled him warmly and a nose buried itself into Cody's neck.

Cody blinked, looking down at his brother; who was… humming. "Um, Zack?"

"Yes, Cody?" Came a response from the vicinity of Cody's shoulder.

"Are you…" High? Delirious? _Unhinged_? "…_Feeling_ okay?"

"Huh?" Cody could feel from the muscles of Zack's arms tighten as the reality of where they were standing hit him. "I'm fine." Zack drew away gruffly, brushing imaginary lint off his shirt and jeans.

Carey called out from her bent position over the oven, sounding amused. "He's been grousing to me all day about how _boring_ it is here without you." She slammed the oven door closed with her hip and stood, holding up a dangerously boiling crock-pot of chunks and liquid between her mitted hands. "Once he was finished having his little sulk, of course."

"She's full of crap," Zack said quickly, cheeks gaining a pinkish tinge.

Cody's eyebrows flew upward until they were obscured completely by his bangs, but she didn't look up from the volatile soup.

Zack turned slowly to glare at their mother, who was blowing air furiously on their dinner, far too busy to tell him off for swearing. "Do you _mind_?" he asked her, testily. Cody noted that his cheeks were dusted a dull pink.

"I just hope you've finally learned a lesson about what happens when we _misbehave _in this family." Carey wagged a finger in Zack's direction. She returned to the casserole she'd left sitting on that pot-holder Cody gave her for mother's day. Eyed the bubbling dish with some concern. "Being grounded is not supposed to be fun."

Zack declined to respond, still blushing prettily. Cody would have given all the money in the world to know what was going through his head.

Carey took off her mitts, shaking her head. "Guess we'll just have to wait for it to cool off a bit…"

Cody felt awkward just standing around with Zack staring at him like that. To distract himself, he ducked around his brother to snatch his favorite dinner apron from off its hook.

"No... I wouldn't touch it at all if I were you," Cody addressed his mother as he tied the apron around his waist. "Both of you, sit down before you hurt yourselves. I'll handle dinner." He rubbed his hands together, eyeing the casserole. He nodded. It was worse than he thought. "Three servings of spaghetti and meatballs coming right up."

Zack and Carey took their seats obediently, Carey sending Zack a quick wink and a thumbs-up once Cody had turned his back on them.

Cody got out the noodles and put on a pot of water to boil. Behind him, Carey struck up a conversation with Zack, detailing some failed relationship with one of her previous boyfriends, and Cody automatically tuned her out, humming quietly to himself.

As he worked, Cody could feel Zack's eyes burning into the back of his head. The sensation made his skin prickle uncomfortably. He did his best to ignore it.


	9. Cody Takes A Bath

**A/N: A short, intense little chapter. Warning: Angst. (Don't worry, I promise to kiss it better.)**

As soon as dinner was over and the dishes had been cleared, Cody made a swift exit, mumbling to the others that he was going to pop in for a quick shower before heading to bed. He shut himself safely in the bathroom.

Once inside, Cody eyed the doorknob thoughtfully. After some consideration, he locked the door, and headed to the tub.

The rush of hot water from the tap felt amazing on his hand. He glanced quickly at his watch. 8:43.

That meant he had at least forty-five minutes to kill before he could believably declare himself tired and head to bed.

Forty-five minutes. That was five minutes to fill the bath, twenty minutes _in_ the bath… ten to towel-dry his hair. That still left ten whole minutes of… what? Waffling and procrastination?

Damn it.

He perched upon the edge of the tub, determined to let the bath fill completely before stepping a toe inside.

He spent the extra time looking around the room for things to occupy his attention. A photo of him, Carey and Zack smiled down at him from its place on the wall. The photo had been taken back when he and Zack were ten or eleven. They looked so happy…

A _clug_ sounded from his left. Cody looked down at the tub.

Gross. A wad of dark brown hair had wedged itself in the drain. Brown meant it was probably Carey's. Cody shuddered. With two fingers he daintily removed the wad, carrying it carefully over to the bin by the toilet. _Ew, ew, ew_…

Unplugged, the drain began to make high-pitched squealing noises behind him. Cody realized with an embarrassed lurch that he'd forgotten to plug the drain in the first place. That would explain the clog.

_Man_, Cody thought, _what is with my brain today_? He ran his soiled hand under the tub faucet, rinsing away stray bits of hair that had become stuck to it. He plugged the tub's drain firmly—the right way this time—then wiped his hand on a nearby towel.

Cody felt wrung out and used. The emotional roller coaster that his hormones had been putting him through over the past few days had left Cody feeling overwhelmed, and woefully inadequate.

Soon, the tub was full and Cody could procrastinate no longer. He stood, letting his robe fall to the ground in a heap; not even bothering to fold it first.

He stepped into the tub and let out a gasp of delight. The bathwater was like a warm embrace to the aching muscles in his legs, and Cody gratefully slid the rest of the way inside, allowing the water to cover him completely from the chin down.

Cody began to feel sleepy and relaxed. His inhibitions drained away like yesterday's bathwater.

Unrepressed, his thoughts began roaming dreamily about the landscapes of his mind, before settling with a sigh upon his brother's grey eyes. The spattered pattern of his adorable freckles… that grin he sometimes got just before unleashing a complicated prank. The way he pouted at Cody right before convincing him to do Zack an annoying favor. Cody smiled fondly, sinking more deeply into the water.

Zack. Cody's eyes shot open. Oh God.

At once, an odd feeling swept over Cody. It was not quite emotion, not quite sensation. It itched along his legs, up his spine and settled in his stomach. He shivered.

Cody felt unclean.

He sat up, grasping about for the soap; upon finding it, he began to scrub at his arms with a ferocity that surprised him. His shoulders were next, and then his back, his muscles straining as he attempted to find every dirty nook and cranny in his soul.

It wasn't enough.

Frustrated, he threw the soap away from him, grabbing a washcloth from the pile by his head and accidentally sending the whole lot into the water. He ignored these others, clenching the first cloth in a shaking fist.

His feet were subjected to a similar treatment to that of his arms, followed closely by his lower legs. The rough fabric bit at Cody's knees. At Cody's thighs. All of it rubbed; red and raw, red and raw, red and raw. He didn't understand what made him do it, what made his skin sing with the need to be punished. He only knew he needed it.

When he reached the juncture between his legs and hips, Cody stopped, biting back a cry. He longed to just... grab himself by the dick and clean that as well- to wring the sinful thoughts right out of it. But he didn't. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He dropped the washcloth and watched it float away, arms wrapping protectively around his knees. Cody tucked his head into the gap between his legs.

Unwanted, the polluted thoughts returned, this time accompanied by new images. Images that were familiar to him, but now seen in a slightly different light.

_Zack, wrestling him amidst a pile of cushions and toys on the floor of their suite. Cody, pretending he was angry that Zack had scared him. Pinning his brother firmly to the ground just to have an excuse to be close to him._

Cody splashed water on his face; dissatisfied, he got on all fours and dunked his entire head in. Shut up, shut _up_-

_Zack, moaning ever-so-softly across the way and in the dark, keening into his pillow as he wrung himself dry beneath the bed sheets—whimpering quietly as he came. Thinking Cody couldn't hear._

He came up for air, gasping. He wiped hair out of his eyes.

_Zack, wearing a sequined blue shirt; his open expression of trust as he reached for Cody's hand. Knowing they would look ridiculous, but not caring. _

_Cody, matched in sparkling red, twirling under Zack's arm and gladly following his lead. Zack's face as he passed Cody a rose between his teeth. Cody's heart, pounding its joy as he was tossed into the air and landed easily on his feet. _

_Two dancers who matched each other's skill sets flawlessly, executing every dip and twirl as if they had been practicing since the day they were born. Up and down, in and out, yin and yang. Together for life, forever together. They had been _made_ for each other. _

A perfect pair.

He froze- stared at his wrinkled fingers, as if seeing them for the first time.

Something beeped. He looked down at his battered watch, which he wore at all times, even in the bathtub; swallowing at how much time had passed.

He got up slowly, water trickling down his body as he went. Grabbing his towel and robe. Robotic.

All the while, that thought. That beautiful, _terrible_...

...wonderful thought.


	10. A Leap Of Faith

**EDIT: As of March 20, 2011, this chapter has been completely edited and revised. So, to any longterm fans- it's well worth a reread.**

* * *

The bedside lamps were all on, casting a warm glow about the room. The bedroom door was firmly shut.

Zack was ready.

He had no idea what was taking Cody so long to finish his bath; but in the meantime, Zack had made sure that when Cody got back to their room he'd have no place at all to hide.

Last time, they had made confessions in the dark as frightened brothers. This time, they would converse as equals.

This time, the lights would be _on_. And this time, Zack wasn't gonna screw it up.

All Zack had to do was wait. Never mind that he'd waited hours already. It didn't matter. Zack would keep waiting. He'd wait all night if he had to. He'd do whatever it took to make things right between them again.

Of course, there was always the chance Cody would just camp out in the bathroom. Or spend the night in the living room. Or sneak out and sleep in the hallway, if he was that desperate to get away from him.

To be honest, Zack had no idea how upset Cody was, or if he was even still upset with him at all; because ever since their mom had nearly interrupted them making out on the couch Cody had gone to extreme pains to avoid him either way. Last night he had slept at Bob's house. But tonight, Bob was at a concert with his family. Cody had no obvious escape.

Zack didn't like the fact that Cody thought he had to hide. He had thought their friendship- and brothership, or whatever- was stronger than that.

A knock at the door. Zack's ears perked at the sound, and though he longed to leap up and open the door right away, just to see his brother's expression, he restrained himself.

"Come on in," Zack called out, schooling his voice to sound bored. The door opened.

The room beyond Cody was dark—meaning Carey was sleeping. Cody blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dim light, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on Zack.

And saw where he was sitting. On Cody's bed.

The door shut behind Cody with a _click._ He responded to Zack's silent gesture of defiance by taking his seat on Zack's bed instead- seemingly unperturbed. But Zack had anticipated that.

He stood, facing his brother, ready to put up a fight if he had to. To his surprise, Cody stood as well.

He was wearing a fluffy blue bathrobe that was too short for him, coming to his mid thighs—the same robes he'd owned since they were eleven. Now, at sixteen, the robe made him look thin and gangly, and much taller than he actually was. Zack suspected Cody secretly liked that part, and that it was the only reason he still wore the damn thing.

"Cody—" he began, at the same time as Cody spoke his name.

They stopped, staring at one another. Zack gestured uneasily. "Go ahead."

"No… that's okay. You go first." Cody sat back down, feeling restless.

Zack mirrored his brother's position on the other side of the room, arms crossing in front of him.

"Fine."

Zack stared at his brother, searching for the best way to begin. Cody refused to look at him, however, and Zack felt at a loss. He got up and began to pace— something he often did when he was agitated— but he paused at the window, looking out.

"You're avoiding me," he tried. Waited. When no response was forthcoming, he turned to face his brother, suddenly angry. "And I _hate_ it. You're the one who made me promise, before we... you know, kissed—" he ignored Cody's wince— "that things wouldn't get weird between us. And now..." He gestured vaguely between them. "Here we are. And things are weird." He crossed his arms, staring his brother down. Daring him to look at him.

"You're right, of course," Cody said eventually. He glanced up for barely a second before returning to stare at the floor. "I have been avoiding you."

Well. Zack blinked. That had certainly knocked the wind out of his sails.

He returned to the bed to fidget.

"I'm sure you want some kind of explanation," Cody continued, glumly. "You want me to tell you everything's okay, that I just needed time to calm down— that we can be normal again, now."

Zack started to speak; then reconsidered at the look on Cody's face.

"I don't have any answers for you, Zack," he was saying. Cody rubbed his hands together, elbows braced on knees.

"How can you give up so easily?" Zack felt all bent out of shape, and for once Cody was the emotionally unavailable one. And the world didn't make any sense.

Cody looked at him, surprised. "I'm not. I just don't see how we're supposed to forget... _it_. Pretend like it never happened." A measured glance. "There was a line yesterday, Zack, and we crossed it. Okay? We can't go back to where we were before."

Zack snorted disparagingly and jumped up. Cody shrank back, surprised, but Zack came closer anyway. "Then we don't," he said simply.

"What?"

Zack waved his hands, gesturing between the two of them. "This. Let's not forget." His voice was low and intense.

Cody shook his head. "I thought you wanted to fix things."

Zack took another step— stopped. His shoulders square.

He was irritated with Cody's sullen attitude, his outward resignation. Mostly, though, he was irritated at himself: at being unable to communicate what he was feeling.

"Fuck." He turned away, thinking that maybe he couldn't, and it was stupid to even try.

"What is it?" Cody pressed.

Zack spun around. "You know, I've spent a lot of time thinking while I've been holed up inside this room for the past… twenty or so hours. A _lot_ of time."

"Zack."

But he ignored him. He stalked up and down the length of the room, growing more and more agitated.

"I tried, Cody," he said finally, half talking to himself. "I tried telling myself it was stupid, that _it_ didn't mean what it felt like it meant. But my mind kept going in circles." His voice broke, and he barked out a laugh. Self-deprecating. "I know, right? It's so unlike me, just sitting around thinking about things."

"Don't_,_" Cody tried again, distressed.

"I usually just ignore the stuff that bothers me," Zack continued, as if he hadn't spoken. "Hakuna Matata and all that: what's the point in rehashing the past over and over? What's done is done. But I couldn't help it, I _had _to think about it, about what it meant. And I know we're close, but this is still hard for me to say." He had to speak his mind, had to explain. "I need to tell you—"

"You don't have to do this, you know," Cody interjected, exasperated. "I get it: you're straight. You don't need to start having some macho man-crisis over it."

"Actually, I do," Zack disagreed. "No, wait. That came out wrong. I meant the first part." He growled. "Man I suck at this."

Cody rolled his eyes, frustrated. "I keep trying to tell you, you _don't_ have to explain. I know you fully support me in all my 'gay glory', or whatever." He drew finger-quotes in the air. "Lots of love to go around."

"No! Shut up a minute." Zack pinched the bridge of his nose. "I _realized_ something, okay? I was freaking out pretty much all of yesterday, confused out of my mind. But then tonight, when I saw you again... I dunno. It clicked. Because the truth is..." He stopped. With what courage he could muster, he looked Cody straight in the eye. "Not _once,_ in my entire night with Linda, did I feel anything remotely close... to what I felt with you."

Cody froze, staring at him. Zack's admission hung uncomfortably in the air.

Zack backtracked, heart racing. "Look, I'm not saying I've gone gay all of a sudden, okay? I'm _not_ gay." He swallowed, wishing he were anywhere else. "But I can't deny that I did feel something. With you. And that I think…" He gulped. This was the biggest part.

Zack walked closer, standing right in front of his brother so he'd have to acknowledge him. He couldn't believe he was pushing this, couldn't believe he'd said any of it in the first place. But he had to know.

"I want to feel it again."

Cody sucked in a sharp breath, looking at his brother with serious alarm. His mouth opened and closed, fish-like.

"You don't have to say anything," Zack said quickly, face flushing. "I just thought that had to be said. In— in the interests of truth, and whatever."

He had started backing away at Cody's expression, and now the backs of his legs collided with the edge of the other bed, forcing him to sit down hard.

"Yes I do," Cody disagreed, echoing Zack's words from earlier. He was looking at Zack with something like awe. Zack fidgeted, waiting; and then Cody shook his head, breaking the moment. "It has to do with what I wanted to say... before."

"Oh, right," Zack said, feeling faint. He was suddenly grateful to be sitting down. "Um... Go ahead, I guess."

Cody paused, overwhelmed. _Where to begin?_ "I don't know what we're doing here, Zack." Cody licked his lips. "But... that thing we did, it was _wrong_. You know that, right? Regardless of whether you… um… liked it." Cody covered his face in shame, his face pink. "Oh my god..."

Zack waited nervously as Cody collected himself, his own skin feeling hot as well. He didn't move, or breathe, or otherwise do anything at all that might scare Cody off.

After a while, Cody took his hands from his face, and stared at his feet. Most of the colour had drained from his skin, except for two bright pink spots that adorned both his cheekbones. Zack had never seen him blush so much in his life.

"Zack, it was really wrong," Cody repeated, voice oddly strained. "And now you're seriously telling me you want to do it again?"

"Maybe?" Zack groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "Hell. I don't know." He sat up, rubbing his lightly haired legs. "I don't know the difference between right and wrong anymore."

Cody snorted at that, voice at once lifting in a shrill tenor. "Oh, _yeah- _because your moral compass was calibrating just _spiffily_ before." He shook his head, melting into quiet, desperate giggles. As the seconds passed, they grew louder and less restrained.

Zack watched him, mystified. "Cody, you're hysterical."

"It's just so ironic!" At his brother's frightened look, Cody dissolved into even more breathless laughter that he tried in vain to trap behind his palm. Zack continued to stare, at a loss for what to do.

Eventually, the giggles trailed off into soft little hiccups. Those, Zack thought he could deal with, and- relieved- he turned his thoughts to their previous conversation.

But when a strangled, half-aborted sob escaped through Cody's fingers, Zack couldn't miss the fact that the other boy's shoulders were shaking. He stood quickly, and without hesitation- Zack never could stand to see his brother cry- and padded across the carpet to where Cody sat.

The mattress creaked as Zack sat down. He dithered for a bit- disheartened to realize that he didn't know the first thing about truly comforting someone. Worse, Cody's moods were unpredictable even at the best of times. Zack didn't stand a chance. But he still felt he had to do _something_.

"Hey, don't cry…" He started lamely, feeling well out of his depth. "I'm sorry, man, I didn't mean to upset you..." He draped an arm around Cody's shoulders somewhat awkwardly, and Cody dove into his neck. He was shivering, and had goosebumps on his neck, as if cold.

"Shh..." Zack patted Cody's back, wanting to distract him. "Just, forget I ever said anything. Okay?" He swallowed, struggling to remember what their Mom used to do in situations like this. She had a real knack for calming Cody down. "We can, um. Talk about this later, if you still want to."

Meanwhile, Zack cursed under his breath. _Way to be a jerk_, he berated himself. _You actually made him cry. That was clever!_

As Zack rubbed his back, whispering calming words into the other boy's ear, Cody relaxed and his breathing slowly evened out. Zack, too, breathed more easily. _At least that's one thing I've done right tonight_, he thought.

Aloud, he said, "Shh. Everything's okay. Just keep breathing."

Cody nodded, and after a minute or so wiped the remaining wetness from his face against the sleeve of Zack's shoulder. His back still shook a little under Zack's wandering hand, although he tried to hide it by hunching over. Zack held Cody even closer than before, worried he was still cold despite the fluffy robe.

A few minutes of comfortable silence hummed around them, in which time Zack continued to kick himself mentally for even bringing this up in the first place. Like so many of his ideas recently, this was turning out to be a phenomenally bad one.

Zack was distracted enough that he almost didn't feel it.

The lips, which had been resting dormantly against Zack's neck, stirred at the skin of his throat, tickling him. Zack sucked in a breath, going rigid. The lips moved again, and before Zack could register what was happening, they had planted a kiss right on him.

Zack's heart skipped a beat. _You imagined it_, he thought hurriedly, _it's not real__!_

Then, before he could really register the first one, more kisses came, sweeping across his neck in a slow, almost wistful journey. The body in Zack's lap shifted, and the lips trailed away, kissing his shoulder. Each point of contact sent lines of heat straight to Zack's stomach- where he could have sworn actual, physical butterflies had exploded into existence and were now fluttering about madly inside him.

Zack hardly dared breathe as those lips began climbing upward, mouthing at his skin. Heat swirled maddeningly in his belly, and part of Zack longed to reciprocate. Still, he felt frozen— paralyzed. He didn't know whether he should respond or pull away, and Cody's incessant, breathstealing kisses were making it extremely hard for him to think. Another part of him was telling him to run away, get out of there before he did something stupid. Like kiss him back.

Because regardless of what Zack was feeling, Cody was still upset. They _both_ were upset, and neither of them were thinking straight, and anything they did now they were sure to regret later. They were certainly in no position to—

The lips at his jaw sucked. Hard.

Zack moaned, unable to help himself. "Stop," he whimpered, embarrassed at how strained he sounded. Cody did it again, closer to his ear, and it was too much.

He took Cody by the shoulders, spinning them around so that Cody was lying on his back with Zack crouching over him. Cody looked up at him, his face relaxed and open. Zack wondered what he was thinking; all the while trying to calm the heat in his blood. Cody stared at him knowingly, and shook his head.

"It's okay," the other boy whispered.

Zack bent to kiss his cheek. Cody's eyelids fluttered shut at the touch of his lips, and he responded by wrapping his arms around Zack's back and shoulders, pulling him down for a hug.

Zack let him, surprised. It was such an outrageously familiar act in the midst of so much newness and confusion, that Zack found himself relaxing. He knew that Cody had probably done it on purpose, to relieve some of the tension, and Zack was thankful. He carefully returned the embrace, closing his eyes, and breathed in Cody's scent.

After a moment, he pulled away. "Am I crushing you?" Zack asked.

"No," Cody denied, turning his head so that his lips grazed Zack's cheek. The touch was light, but made Zack feel strangely giddy. He lowered himself slowly, inch by inch, until he was spread more fully over Cody's lean frame. "Still no," Cody chuckled, and Zack felt silly.

Cody lowered his hands on Zack's back, pulling their bodies closer. Their hips made contact, and Cody gasped, arching into him. Zack stilled, closing his eyes—it was too much, it felt too good. He was absolutely sure that the slightest movement would set him off. And how embarrassing would that be? Still, Cody was practically vibrating beneath him, and stopping seemed very far from his mind.

Zack paused, breathing into Cody's ear and bracing himself on his elbows. His arms shook a little with the effort of holding up his weight, but Zack ignored them. He knew he should stop now, before things went too far.

But Cody smelled so _good_...

A hand tugged sharply at Zack's hair, reminding him where he was and surprising him into action. His arms buckled; he fell onto Cody's lean frame, their bellies pressed tightly together. Cody's arms were around his neck in an instant, and Zack moaned when Cody's fingers tangled in his hair and _tugged_. Sliding his wrists under Cody's arms so that he could grip him by the shoulders, Zack pulled, rubbing their abdomens together. He ached for full contact. Cody took advantage of their change in position, lavishing hot kisses up Zack's jaw, and Zack melted; the last threads of rationality protesting before giving up entirely.

Zack increased the pressure between their bodies, and Cody breathed in sharply at the feel of him. His lips were appealingly red, flushed with blood and unspent arousal.

The sight made Zack tense, and suddenly his hands had a mind of their own. He tugged impatiently at the tie of Cody's bathrobe— ignoring the knot in favor of simply pulling the robe apart.

A thrill leapt through him at the sight of Cody's collar bone, and he bit back a groan, swallowing. His skin looked so soft, and Zack longed to see more of it.

He pulled at the robe, his eyes trailing down...

"Hold up," Cody said hastily, stopping his hands.

Zack froze at the sound, letting go at once. His breathing was uneven as he stared back, wondering what he'd done wrong. "Yes…?" he managed, every muscle in his body strung taut as a bow. With admirable effort, he managed to ignore the ache in his boxers and pull his hands away from Cody's skin.

It wasn't easy.

"I can't... just wait for a second." Cody sounded strained, almost like he was in pain.

They paused, neither moving and both breathing hard. Zack felt like he was going to explode.

"Should we stop?" he asked hesitantly, heart plummeting at the thought. He lifted himself onto his elbows. "If you want, we can—"

"Don't—!" Cody pulled Zack's arms, preventing him from leaving, and Zack landed on Cody's chest with an '_Oomf_'—the wind knocked out of him.

As Zack struggled to right himself, his hips accidentally bumped Cody's own, and their groins rubbed together. Cody let out a surprised moan, his eyes closing of their own volition.

"Don't _stop_," Cody breathed, voice breaking. Zack stared down at him, air catching in his throat.

"...What?" he croaked.

"Move!" Cody wrapped his hands around Zack's waist and tugged him down again roughly.

Sweet, _sweet_ friction. "— _mygod_," Cody whispered.

Zack agreed, squeezing his eyes shut. "_Ungh..._" was all he could offer in response. He rocked their hips together again and both of them moaned.

"More," Cody begged, still breathing hard. Zack leaned closer, kissing Cody's neck, but there still wasn't enough contact.

Cody's position under Zack constricted his movements, and he soon grew frustrated by the lack of freedom. He pulled at Zack's legs, manipulating the gangly limbs until they were resting between Cody's thighs instead of outside of them. Satisfied, he pulled Zack's torso down toward his own.

From this angle, though, the bathrobe quickly became caught between their bodies, and it chafed at Cody's thighs painfully. He let out an exasperated mewl and made a quick decision. His hands scrabbled at the tie of his robe.

He tugged at the knot, half wishing Zack would just rip it off—but Zack was too distracted by Cody's neck. So Cody worked at the knot with unsteady fingers until it came undone.

Not bothering to open his robes all the way, Cody merely untangled his legs and set to work on Zack's shirt. Adrenaline, however, made his hands frustratingly clumsy. Zack clued in halfway through and assisted him in his efforts, pulling up on his shirt with his arms crossed until the fabric became bunched around his neck, getting stuck at his head.

Zack paused, tugging. "Helf," he said through a mouthful of shirt.

Cody giggled at the picture Zack made, the arousal in his voice making it sound lower than usual. He stared at Zack's exposed belly with a gleam in his eye, making no move at all to help with Zack's predicament.

_Evil little, _Zack thought_._ Gurgled protests escaped Zack preoccupied mouth, and he glared down at Cody resentfully.

Relenting, Cody removed the shirt, still grinning. Zack continued to glower.

"Oh, you're gonna get it _now_," Zack warned him, sounding very dangerous. Cody looked up at him in quasi-fear, letting out a barely muffled shriek as Zack tore open Cody's bathrobe completely and pulled the cloth out from under him in one fell swoop, dumping it unceremoniously on the floor.

Cody looked up at Zack, his eyes huge. He was now completely naked and exposed under Zack's searching gaze.

A thrill spiked through Cody as Zack stared at him, and he licked his lips.

"Not fair," Cody mumbled.

"Nope," Zack agreed. He leaned forward to examine his prize, staring at one small, light brown nipple in curiosity. Cody turned his head to the side, avoiding the other boy's intense gaze.

"Your nipples are darker than mine," Zack teased, his voice husky. His eyes were wicked.

"Are you _done_ yet?" Cody asked, stretching his chest away from him.

"...Nope," Zack said again. His voice grew more serious. "But don't worry, Codes, your chest is nothing to sneeze at." He stopped, gaze dragging down to his belly. "Believe me."

Perpetually skinny his entire childhood, Cody had over the past few years managed to grow into his bones a little bit. Now, at sixteen, Cody was still thinner than most, but was noticeably lither than he'd been at thirteen. As happens to many teen boys around his age, Cody's pectoral muscles were just starting to manifest themselves. He was by no means athletically built in any way, but he no longer resembled a toothpick.

And while Zack was quite unfamiliar with rating the bodies of other men as desirable—or _un_—even he had no trouble admitting to himself that Cody's body was nice.

Cody, however, still seemed extremely dubious. Zack lowered his face to Cody's anxious lips, and pressed a tender kiss against them—their first real one of the evening.

The contact filled Zack's stomach with butterflies, but in a nice way. He mouthed the corner of Cody's lips. _Relax_, he thought, as if to send the thoughts directly to Cody's head.

Cody responded to the caress, opening his lips the smallest bit. Zack bit at these carefully, and at the same time placed a warm, slightly damp palm against Cody's sternum.

Careful to maintain the kiss, Zack slid the palm down and across Cody's chest to stroke each of his nipples, finally releasing Cody's mouth so he could press a small kiss to both soft circles of skin.

When Zack raised his head to check Cody's reaction, Cody was blushing furiously.

"What? Doesn't it feel good?" Zack asked, worried about the conflicted grimace that flitted across Cody's face.

"A little," he admitted, red-faced. "But you don't have to treat me like I'm…" he stopped. "I'm not a _girl_, you know."

Zack stared at him. "What does _that_ have to do anything?" When Cody looked away, Zack planted a huge, messy kiss on his left nipple to regain his attention, sucking loudly.

"Stop!" Cody laughed, struggling to twist away from the contact and breath at the same time, but he managed to gasp another complaint between kisses. "Zack, I don't have boobs."

Zack snorted at the obviousness of that statement. "Um, of course you don't, dumb-nut. But you do have _nipples_." He grinned cheekily and watched as the flush from Cody's face spread to his neck. "Duh," he added, for good measure.

That settled, Zack resumed stroking Cody's chest with his palm, lowering his head once more to suck at Cody's right nipple.

He made sure to suck longer this time, and a sliver of glee pierced him as a surprised moan was torn from Cody's throat. Pleased, Zack allowed his wandering hand to trail further downward, toward the edge of Cody's ribcage. Cody gasped as the hand neared his belly button; the skin of Cody's belly jumped beneath Zack's fingertips.

It made Zack swallow and think of going… further.

Thus far, Zack hadn't acknowledged Cody's cock at all, although he had definitely noticed it harden underneath him while they had been grinding. But even when Cody's whole body had first been exposed to his gaze, Zack had forbid himself to peek any lower than Cody's waist. He'd been fearful that in doing so, all _this _would suddenly be real.

As soon as he did it, Zack knew that this happy bubble of delirium— this sphere of pleasant sensations that surrounded him and safely blocked out all rationality— would burst. If Zack so much as _looked_, it would mean that he really had been making out with a boy for the past twenty minutes, rutting against him and fondling his chest as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And not just any boy.

His brother.

No. To look would have been unthinkable.

But now... with the muscles of Cody's belly were rippling beneath his hand, so invitingly… he was finding it harder and harder to resist. Just _one _look, he told himself. And that would be the end of it. One look.

Zack's gaze slowly lowered, following the line of golden hairs on Cody's stomach. His eyes widened as he neared the end.

His hand twitched against Cody's belly, as if itching to follow, and Cody grew very still below him. Zack's palm moved down, beginning to trace the same path that his eyes had taken.

Cody's hand snapped out and grabbed his wrist. "Whatareyou doing?" he squeaked.

It was Zack's turn to blush, embarrassed to be caught. "I… um. I don't know." He swallowed nervously, sitting back. At that moment, he knew nothing but his own desire; and felt ashamed of his ignorance. "What do you want me to do?" he asked finally.

Cody raked his gaze over Zack's bare shoulders. He flushed, still unable to believe he was allowed to look.

For the first time that night, Cody raised a hand to explore his brother. He drew a thin line down Zack's chest with one finger, choking out a nervous laugh when Zack's eyes fluttered closed at his touch.

"You're so sensitive," Cody breathed, wonderingly. He glanced down between Zack's legs, noticing the tent in his brother's pajama pants. "I want…" Cody licked his lips. Zack's pupils were wide and dark.

Cody pulled his finger away. "Zack," he exhaled. "_What_ are we doing?"

Zack searched Cody's eyes with his own, heart skipping a beat. "Did you... want me to turn out the lights?" he said at last. But his intense, suddenly serious stare told Cody what he was really asking.

Cody's eyes squeezed shut, and Zack's breathing all but halted at the sight. If Cody said no…

"I…" Cody gulped fearfully.

Zack waited.

"…Yes."


	11. Zack Is Satisfied

Cody watched as Zack stood to cut out the lights, feeling like he was waking slowly from a dream.

Part of Cody's brain—the rational part, the one filled with inhibitions that had saved his hide on several occasions, and which sounded vaguely like their mother—yelled at him. _What the hell do you think you're doing? _It was saying. _You have no idea what you're getting into, here._

_You're not ready to have sex!_

Cody paled. Sex... With a _man_, to boot. That would make it _gay_ sex. He didn't know the first thing about gay sex.

His overworked brain made another alarmingly good point: Cody didn't even know how to have _straight_ sex.

He truly hoped that at the very least his brother knew what he was doing. Because even though Zack's last sexual encounter had been disastrous, Cody highly doubted it had been due to a lack of knowledge. After all, it was common knowledge that Zack possessed a very dirty mind- Cody knew very well that his brother spent large amounts of time on his laptop doing gods-knew-what in the dark, under the covers in their bedroom with headphones on- usually when he thought that Cody was sleeping.

Of course, Cody had never wondered at all what he might be doing under there, what he might be watching. That would be perverted. Not once had he peeked out from under his covers and stared at the glowing blankets across the room, wondering whether his brother was enjoying himself... and whether those noises were from him or if the volume was just up too loud... Ungh.

Oh, yes. The noises were definitely the worst.

Zack, meanwhile, was seemingly unaware of Cody's mental crisis. He was still walking steadily about the room, shoving a towel against the crack under the door and turning off lamps as he went— first the two above Cody's empty bed, then the main one directly overhead. He chose to leave the ones over his own bed on so that he could find his way back to Cody without tripping over anything. Zack's side of the room was, after all, a complete pigsty.

Cody watched him, skin prickling. He felt hypersensitive to every breeze, every smell. The air was heavy with the scent of sweat and something else; and the careless way Zack roamed about the room, his smooth, olive-y skin twisting this way and that, was driving Cody nuts. On top of that, he felt treacherously close to his breaking point.

On the one hand, he was delirious with nervousness, lying completely naked as he was against the bedcovers with only his knees to hide with. He was so... exposed. And on the other... his every nerve was on _fire_; each prickle a flaming ant racing down, around and across his skin.

He briefly considered ducking under the sheets to regain some semblance of dignity, but knew Zack might misinterpret the gesture as a change of heart; so he decided not to. Because despite everything, he knew in his heart of hearts that truthfully, he _did_ want this. Desperately.

Zack turned around from where he had been messing up Cody's bed to make it look like it had been slept in. "Codes? You'kay?"

Hands fists, Cody gave what he hope was a reassuring smile. "Sure, no worries." Seemingly convinced, Zack continued in his efforts to... something. Cody wasn't really paying attention anymore.

Too busy freaking out.

Because in addition to all the rest of it, there was still that tiny detail that Cody kept returning to again and again, no matter how hard he tried to bury it under an avalanche of sensation and the desire still tingling all over his skin. That one, stupid little word.

_It's _incest_, _he thought. A little thrill zipped down his neck at the private admission_. Incest. In-_cest_, in_cest_incestincest_-Fuck. Cody stared, momentarily distracted. Zack had bent over briefly to pick up something from the ground, and Cody watched, slack-jawed, as those dark grey boxers stretched across Zack's lovely, perfectly shaped- _No._ Cody berated himself and looked away, ashamed of the direction of his thoughts. It wasn't right to stare like this, to feel like this. None of this was right.

The feeling worsened as Zack returned, stopping at Cody's side to reach across his body so he could switch off the light- but he didn't quite make it. He leaned farther still, lowering himself a little until their chests nearly touched- all the while with his face composed and reflecting the very picture of calm and innocent grace. Cody was instantly suspicious. Still, he couldn't help but follow with his eyes the delicate twitches of the muscles in Zack's arms and back. Cody averted his gaze in case Zack thought he was staring.

But he didn't think he was very successful. After a moment Zack grinned down at him, holding his pose.

He stayed that way, stretched out in mid-reach for the lamp over Cody's chest, until Cody caught sight of Zack's expression. It was a little bit smug; a little lewd. Pleased by Cody's attention, Zack pulled away slowly- purposefully and _excruciatingly_ slowly- his fingers 'accidentally' brushing skin in several places as they went. The skin of Cody's stomach leapt under the touch, causing his eyes to close. He could feel the heat from Zack's body radiating down from his chest and soaking straight into his Cody's own.

Cody tensed; waited for something, anything to happen. Thinking, _this is it. Oh, _God_._

But Zack did the unexpected thing and pulled away, strutting to the other side of the room. Cody opened his eyes and blinked, letting out air he hadn't known he'd been holding in one big rush. He glared at the room's other occupant: he was ninety percent positive that Zack had done that just to be absolutely evil.

Even so he couldn't help the hesitant smile that plastered his face. as he stared at Zack's retreating figure. Fondness for the idiot had been growing in Cody's chilled feet and legs for the past several minutes, and now the rush of feeling spread warmly to his ears and face. He watched on in amusement as Zack began to sway his hips and shoulders, his back turned to Cody; dancing to some music only he could hear. Bobbing on his feet. Playing with the curtains, winking at him every so often over his shoulder.

Cody wanted to roll his eyes disparagingly at the sight, the way he normally would on any other day. He wanted to ignore the fluttering in his chest and the leaping in his throat— chalk up the butterflies and frogs to sheer insanity.

But watching his brother from his bed, watching him dance, had him transfixed. Unaffected by mere logic, something scalding and perfect had reached up inside him to squeeze unexpectedly at his heart. It buzzed through his blood, making him stupid. It whispered at him, telling him to do things. Twisted things.

Cody shook his head, wanting to clutch his brains and wring out his thoughts. For once, he didn't want to think. He just wanted to feel.

He didn't want to think about the fact that this was a boy- a man. His brother. _Zack_. But he thought about it anyway. How could he not? What he was about to do… it was incomprehensible. _Rep_rehensible.

Miraculous.

Only one lamp remained lit in the whole room. Zack climbed back onto the bed, then, crawling until he was hovering above Cody's tense body— knees on either side of his legs, and upper torso propped up by his hands. He smiled widely down at his brother, and the dim light in the surrounding room made it feel like they were all alone.

All pretense of joking had gone from Zack face, to be replaced by a look of honest joy. It made Cody feel... light and trembly. Cody met his brother's gaze as best he could, letting a smile grow naturally upon his own face. It wasn't hard. Regardless of his own nerves, Zack's delight was incredible to see.

Zack lowered his face until it was a few inches above Cody's. His pupils were very large. And for a few seconds, Cody's doubts flew out the window.

He was really going to do this.

At that realization, a sort of certainty settled over Cody like a cloud. It gave him just a little bit of courage- the way all knowledge inevitably did- and allowed him to look more openly at the boy above him. He stared at Zack's lips. They were redder than usual. His heart began to beat a little faster.

Zack broke the spell after a moment, looking down at his boxers. Cody tried not to think about his own nakedness.

"How _rude_ of me," Zack chuckled breathlessly, sitting up to pull at his waistband. Sounding so carefree. Cody was immensely jealous that Zack could remain so calm, at a time like this.

Something of Cody's trepidation must have shown on his face, because Zack paused before he could pull his pants any further down his hips, and looked at Cody in sudden concern.

"Is this okay?"

Cody didn't know how to answer that. Was it? He shrugged, biting his lip, and watched as some sort of reluctant understanding dawned on Zack's face; sobriety seeped into his shoulders and the whites of his eyes, and he tensed, removing himself immediately from the bed. He looked down at his brother as if shocked- at Cody or himself, Cody didn't know.

"You're having second thoughts, aren't you?" Zack looked away when Cody didn't answer, skin paler and a little green around the edges... like he was going to be sick. "I-wow, I am a fucking idiot. We kiss once a few days ago, and I have to go and assume that… and we... and _you_-" He started to hyperventilate. "I'm sorry, Cody." He took a couple steps. "I need to go."

"What? No!" Cody said at once, sitting up with wide eyes. He leaned off the bed grabbed Zack's tense arm, tugging him back. "I still want to, Zack, I swear," he tried, pulling at the heavy limb in his grasp. "I didn't mean to scare you, really. I just— " But Zack refused to budge, not looking at him.

Cody could kick himself. How could Zack even think he didn't want this? Usually Cody was good with this sort of thing, but with Zack, everything went completely out the window. Cody tried to face him, desperate to make things right. "Please look at me." And Zack did, slowly turning. Face carefully guarded.

"Zack, I swear, I... want you. So badly, I— " his breath caught. Heart pounding. "But I'm really... no. What I mean is— aren't you scared_,_ at all?"

Zack stared at him for many moments, searchingly. Searching for— what? Cody didn't know. But something he saw in Cody's face must have decided something for him, because he sat back down, putting his chin in his hands. Covering his mouth. Cody wanted to comfort him, but didn't move, for fear of making things worse.

After a minute or so, he startled Cody by raising his head and laughing. "Scared. Well... you definitely scared me just then." Cody looked at him. His eyes were dry, luckily, but he still looked pretty freaked.

_Well, good_, Cody told himself, shifting in his seat. Finally, a normal reaction.

Zack caught Cody's cautious gaze, and it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Of course I'm scared, Cody. I'm fucking _terrified_." The last part came out as a cough. Cody nodded, ignoring Zack's purposefully harsh language.

For once, it was actually appropriate.

"Yeah," Cody agreed. "So am I."

They both stared straight ahead at the opposite wall. In truth, Cody was starting to get a bit cold, but he said nothing.

Eventually Zack turned fully around, sitting cross-legged to face him. Cody mirrored his position, hands lowering to cover himself in what he hoped was a casual manner. Zack either didn't notice his efforts, or didn't care. He was looking at Cody's face. Measuring.

As Cody watched, he lifted a shaking hand to tuck some stray hair behind Cody's ear— uncharacteristically tender. Cody closed his eyes at the touch.

"You don't think _I_ have any idea what I'm doing, do you?" Zack asked finally, his voice sounding so earnest and honest that Cody supposed he really didn't know.

He hesitated before quirking a lip corner, eyes still safely shut. "I certainly hope not."

A sharp laugh, as if it had been startled out of his brother, and then there was nothing. Cody felt much better not having to look at him. He wished they could just start this night over.

For a moment, not a soul stirred in the entire suite. No sounds but silence and breathing. Cody wondered if he and Zack were the only two left awake in the whole hotel.

Sometimes, it felt like they were the only two awake in the whole world.

A creak as the bed shifted, and the noise was unbearably loud in the still air; the weight on the covers lightened. Soft footsteps padded away, and Cody's heart fell. Fear flared up in his belly but he couldn't bring himself to look, to break the silence. Was Zack leaving? _Because of me._ Cody didn't understand it, and he tried not to break down. How could Zack still think this wasn't what he wanted? It was what he wanted... God help him, Cody wanted it.

A new sound. Fabric against skin. A thump, as something soft was thrown carelessly aside. Cody's ears perked.

"Hey."

A thrill ran through him- relief and adrenaline both. "...Yes?" he answered, breath catching.

"Look at me." And that was when Cody realized what he would see if he did.

So when his eyes opened, he stared down at his lap instead: _a compromise_, he thought.

"Cody," the voice said again, amused. "Look _up_."

Could he?

His mouth dried. _It's just like ripping off a bandaid_, he thought. _You just do it_. Determined, he raised his chin slowly, eyes trailing up and over ankles and knees. Up... up. "...Oh."

He tried not to stare, and failed. Blood rushed to his ears, and he darted up to look at Zack's face before returning... to...

Zack shifted a little under the scrutiny, but held his ground. Cody knew that he was being rude, but he just couldn't look away.

"Oh, wow," he whispered, feeling light-headed. "Um." As he watched, Zack's arousal grew, and Cody's body instantly reacted.

He crossed his legs quickly, covering his reaction; even though he was pretty sure his beet-red face had already given him away. "Are you _sure_ we're twins?"

Zack laughed nervously. "Thanks, I think" He looked down at Cody's crossed legs. "You don't have to do that, you know," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly, and Cody forced himself to tear his gaze upward so he could look at Zack's face.

"I know," he agreed, but didn't move his legs an inch.

Zack sighed.

"Okay. I guess we'll start with baby steps." Cody glared, offended by the insinuation, but the effect was softened by the fact that he couldn't stop his eyes from darting down to stare at Zackary's growing erection every five seconds.

Zack, taking the glances as an encouraging sign, took a step toward the bed. But Cody scrambled back into the headboard the moment he did so, hitting his head.

"Ow," Cody said mournfully, rubbing the spot. Incidentally, the instinctive move away had uncovered his own erection.

It was Zack's turn to stare.

Cody stilled, unprepared for the look Zack was currently giving him. Appreciation? Cody's heart hammered away. "What?" he challenged.

"You... have nothing to worry about, Cody," Zack said, finally looking away.

Cody highly doubted that, but glanced down quickly to check anyway. He did a double take— perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised, considering how wound up and painfully aroused he felt on the inside_. _But he really didn't think he'd ever been this physically turned-on before.

Cody stared up at Zack. They exchanged glances, and couldn't help but snort at each other's expressions.

The laughter did the trick. Zack approached the bed again; this time, Cody didn't back away.

They paused. The shadows cast by the uneven light made Zack look just as scared as his brother was, and it made Cody braver. He found himself moving closer, inexplicably drawn to that face, those eyes. He hovered achingly close Zack's lips, which were plump and dry and soft-looking— and abruptly kissed one corner, losing his courage halfway through.

Zack pouted, and it broke the ice. Cody laughed, and kissed Zack for real, sitting up more fully against the headboard.

The kissing made everything better. Zack's chest, where it was pressed to Cody's own, warmed him right up. Cody even began to relax somewhat, and when he had regained some of his confidence pressed his lips more fully to Zack's own. He wanted to show Zack that he was certain of what they were doing, where they were going, and that _yes_: he most definitely wanted this. Zack moaned, getting the message, and broke the kiss, backing off by about a foot.

"So..." he said, breathing heavily. "What did you want to do first?"

Good question. Annoying question. "Um..." Some of the haze cleared from Cody's brain. "I don't know. What does one..." he looked for the word. "..._Do_, in situations like this?"

Zack looked at him appraisingly. "Anything we want, I guess." He stretched back a little, supporting his weight on his hands, and Cody's eyes were drawn embarrassingly quickly back down to Zack's lap. His heart picked up speed again.

"Anything?" Cody asked breathlessly- he sounded oddly eager to his own ears, like the words were coming from someone else. Zack looked at him with a smile.

"Well, yeah." He paused, taking in Cody's expression.

"Yeah?" Cody wasn't paying attention anymore. His thoughts were feeling cloudy... he glanced back down again. Zack's arousal reddened a little more under his stare, and Cody licked his lips without thinking.

"Yeah... sure," Zack said, brain short-circuiting. "Did you have, uh. Something in..." As Cody looked back up, Zack noticed that his eyes were darker than usual. He took that as his cue to shut up.

Cody didn't answer, instead reaching out a hand to trail it across Zack's chest. It was bold of him, to initiate like this. Not that Zack was complaining. It felt wonderful.

He moaned, then bit his lip to quiet himself. He was unnerved by how... out of control he felt. "That's, uh, very good," he said to Cody, as the hand reached his hip and the skin of his stomach jumped under the caress. His erection jumped as well, something that Cody seemed to find very curious.

Cody knew what he wanted to do, of course. He'd figured that out as soon as he'd seen it. But he couldn't bring himself to ask. He paused, hands sweating- something Zack undoubtedly noticed.

"You okay?" Zack asked, and it was clear that he himself was not. He was already breathing hard, although Cody had only touched him once.

"Fine, fine." He stared at Zack's... dick (_if you can't even think it, you definitely aren't getting anywhere tonight_, Cody rationalized) and wondered how anyone went about asking for what he wanted from Zack.

Zack sighed. "Talk to me."

Cody shushed him, however, still debating with himself._ You want to do this, you know you do! And Zack said anything we wanted_.

Cody shook his head and closed his eyes. He had to try. The worst that would happen was that Zack would say no. So, on three, and before he could change his mind, Cody braced himself, stood, and faced his brother.

Under Zack's blank stare, Cody breathed and kneeled, down by Zackary's knees.

"Whoa," Zack said, eyes widening comically. "What are you doing."

Cody smiled a little, trying not to shake as he made himself a little more comfortable on the carpet. "Just... don't talk to me right now. And let me know if I'm doing this right." Cody leaned in, bracing himself.

Zack leaned away. "You know, Codes- I really don't think you're ready for this yet."

Cody placed a hand on Zack's thigh, and his brother quickly shut up. "Then _stop_ thinking." Cody bent and pressed a dry, loving kiss on Zack's inner thigh, close to his fingertips. Zack twitched and gasped, the rest of him stilling at once. "Is this okay?" Cody made sure.

Eventually, Zack nodded, swallowing. "More than okay," he affirmed shakily. "Do... do what you like." He said it like he wasn't quite sure what he wanted. But even Cody could not mistake the desire written all over his face. Cody could see it very plainly, and it gave him strength. Zack wanted this, he wanted this... so what was stopping them?

Well. That was all Cody needed to know.

He placed his other hand on Zack's right thigh, pulling his fingers toward himself. Zack's breathing was already irregular, and it amazed Cody that he could have this much power over another person. All Cody knew for certain was that he wanted to make Zack feel the way the he himself was feeling: trembly, hot, and very, very sensitive.

Cody raised his hands and placed them on Zack's chest, over his nipples- a little payback for earlier- and dragged them back down again, kissing a trail along Zack's abdomen as he went. Cody pushed with two fingers, and Zack fell back across the bed, surprised by the strength of the sensations rippling through him. Once down, he stayed there, and let out a strangled moan.

"Yes?" Cody mouthed near his belly button.

Zack laughed, belly jumping under Cody's lips. "_Oh_ yes..." Cody flushed from the praise. Feeling bolder by the minute, he mouthed the skin just below- reaching the first tickles of hair. It was weird, but also good.

Zack tensed at the next few fluttering kisses, toes curling and adam's apple bobbing. Cody liked that (he liked it a lot) and so he opened his mouth and pressed a wet kiss as low as he dared go, eager to hear those noises from before. (_Those_ noises, those _same_ noises, that he had heard all those nights in the dark.)

The boy stretched out on the bed below him let out a really long, loud moan, and Cody worried for a moment that their mother would hear. That was a sobering thought, but luckily he knew that their mom was currently on sleeping pills. She'd probably be out for the rest of the night...

And anyway, Cody's lips felt like they were on fire, and that whispering voice was bidding him to continue. How far? He didn't know.

He only knew he _wanted_.

And so he took a deep breath, and kissed even lower- right onto the side of Zack's erection.

"Ah!" Zack squeaked in a high pitched voice, legs jerking and back arching with surprise. Cody laughed, looking up.

"Very manly," Cody laughed, and Zack propped himself up by his elbows. He glared.

"You could warn a person." But the look of revenge quickly glazed over, his head falling back onto the bed, as Cody did it again, open-mouthed. "That feels good?" Cody asked again, half-joking by this point.

"C-d- _Cody_. Ungh... _don't stop_." Cody slid his mouth a little, relishing in the gasps coming from above, and felt another rush of adrenaline wash over him. He didn't just feel powerful anymore. He knew that he _was_. Zack Martin, who was usually so cool and so collected and so patronising, was falling apart from a few simple touches at Cody's hand and mouth. It was absolutely intoxicating.

He had a plan, and he was going to implement it, by God. He sat up straight and braced his hands on either side of Zack's lap, before sliding them down to his knees. After a moment's pause, he placed pressure on the insides of his knees, and Zack obediently spread them apart, inch by inch- never going more than Cody pulled. The message was clear: Cody could do whatever he wanted.

Zack let him, watching him wordlessly. His lips parted, and his breaths shallowed out. A rapt expression had plastered itself across his features, and he was looking at Cody like he'd never seen anything so amazing.

Feeling brave—and powerful—Cody licked his lips, just to see Zack's reaction.

Zack's breathing stopped altogether.

"Cody," he warned, choking on the word.

"Just try to relax," Cody advised, sending Zack a wicked smirk.

"Mm-! ...kay." Poor Zack sounded like he might be drowning. Just a little.

Without further ado, Cody steadied Zack's quivering hips with both hands and, leaning forward, wrapped his lips around the head of Zack's cock. Zack's hips jerked up to meet him, and he gasped. Cody became keenly aware of how crazy all this was, and even now couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He also couldn't believe how good it felt. Or... how weird it tasted.

Cody drew back with furrowed brows, licking his lips. It was... kind of salty and bitter. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, to be truthful, but at least it wasn't completely terrible. And Zack's moans were completely worth it.

Cody touched Zack's erection with one hand and licked the head one more time, experimentally. Zack whimpered, and Cody smiled. _Definitely_ doable. He returned to his task, taking even more of it into his mouth this time.

Zack moaned at the increased heat and his hips moved of their own accord, shoving unexpectedly deep into Cody's mouth. Cody choked his surprise and pulled back at once, glaring at the other boy.

"Don't do that!" he scolded, wiping his mouth.

"I'm sorry!" Zack moaned guiltily, closing his eyes. Cody noticed his knuckles were white where they gripped the bedsheets. "I can't help it, okay?" He groaned. "You're driving me _insane_."

A huge smile threatened to split Cody's face in two, but he fought it valiantly.

"Well, I can't focus with you choking me like that," he said, attempting to hide his satisfaction. "Just... how about we move you? Turn around, so you're lying on the pillow side. No, with your legs hanging off. Like _this._" He pulled Zack's legs to demonstrate. Zack obeyed quickly and, for once, without complaint, eager for Cody to continue.

Cody climbed up onto the bed after him, but didn't quite fit. "Wait, no... around again." He dragged Zack up and rotated them so that Zack's head was on the pillow, lying down. At Cody's gesture, he bent his legs slightly and spread them a little wider, reddening.

Cody took a moment and stared, drinking in a sight he never thought he'd see. Zack, lying back against his pillows and looking so very vulnerable, his face completely open. It humbled Cody.

Cody politely kept his eyes trained on Zack's face as he settled into the space between Zack's bent knees. He mouthed Zack's knee; and then, unable to resist, he climbed up Zack's body and stole a deeper, longer kiss from Zack's lips. Zack kissed back enthusiastically, trying to thank him physically since his ability to speak was quickly deteriorating.

His lips warm and tingly, Cody returned to his brother's lap. He leaned down, this time putting his whole hand around Zack's erection first, as a test. Zack moaned appreciatively, and his hips still rose to increase the friction; but the movement wasn't as dramatic. Or as dangerous, for that matter.

He decided to try a little experiment. This time when he wrapped his lips around Zack's cock, he tried sliding down as far as he could go without gagging. Zack made a high-pitched keening sound, arms flailing as his hips lifted as far they could before crashing back down. Luckily, Cody was more prepared this time around, and pulled up just as Zack rose. That solved the gagging problem, then. He even started to get into it, a little, increasing the suction and reveling in the way Zack panted and jerked as if incapable of controlling his own movements. Very soon, his moans became babble, nonsensical mumbles that both amused Cody and, strangely, aroused him even further.

"Ohmyguh…_duh_, Cody just… _there_…_!" _Zack was biting his lip so hard Cody was afraid he'd make himself bleed.

Cody smiled around his mouthful, and would have laughed too had it been remotely possible at that point. He remembered to breathe through his nose and returned to his task, sliding firmly up and down in time with the pumping of Zack's hips, using his hands too when his lips got tired.

Cody wasn't exactly sure what else he should do, or if he was even doing this right in the first place. But Zack seemed to like everything he did, regardless. So he decided not to worry about it, and just enjoy himself.

Zack's babbles sped up as his thrusts increased their momentum and depth, and once, when Cody hummed contentedly, Zack's hands flew forward and tangled themselves in Cody's hair. He tugged at Cody's locks, pulling his head down harder. It hurt, but Cody didn't care enough to move. He curled his tongue.

"Oh-!" Zack panted, holding Cody's head still and pumping faster. Cody was finding it harder to breathe. "_—My god_!"

In no time at all, he felt Zack grow tense under him, his hips lifting one final time. Cody's eyes widened as realization hit, starting to back off.

"_Cody_," Zack gasped, and he was very, very far gone.

_Oh no_... Cody pulled away with a _pop_ just in time to see strings of white flying out at him, most of it landing on his chest in one great, big… mess. _Yuck_. Cody wasn't going to lie, that was _really_ gross. But looking up, Cody instantly decided that the look on Zack's face was worth it.

Zack's eyes had squeezed shut, as if in pain, his jaw clenching and muscles tensed as he'd approached the edge. But once the last spasms of Zack's body had died away, every single muscle in his face had relaxed; melting into the purest expression of bliss that Cody had ever seen.

Zack opened his eyes dreamily, staring at Cody in total amazement. After a moment, he struggled to sit up, still looking at Cody with a dazed expression as he straightened his legs on either side of Cody's body.

"You," he said shakily, voice quavering as he ran fingers through his sweat-matted hair "are so. Fucking. Beautiful."

Cody looked briefly at the come dribbling down his chest, and back at Zack, raising an incredulous eyebrow.

Zack smiled at him happily, reaching out to rake a hand through the mess. He licked part of it off his palm, surprising Cody. He made a face at the taste. Cody's cock lurched at the sight. The liquid on his skin was even worse now, having been rubbed around. He needed to... fix it. Wash it. Something. Cody began to see things he hadn't noticed before. They were both covered in sweat, for instance, and Cody had come on his mouth. He wiped it off, shuddering a little.

"Wait here, I'll be right back," Cody said quickly, grabbing his bathrobe from off the floor and tying it around his waist.

Zack paled, his dreamy look disappearing in an instant.

"What?" He sat up. "Why? Where are you going?" he asked, stricken. Cody shook his head shakily, feeling oddly... tense. He was still rock hard under his robe, and Zack soon took notice of this, glancing at Cody's lap guiltily. "Did you want me to…" he trailed off, gesturing to the bulge.

"No, that's fine!" Cody said, backing up against the door. "I'm just gonna… go get us some baby wipes. Okay? I left my pants in the bathroom." He put one hand on the doorknob, shushing Zack's protests with a finger to his lips. "I'll be right back, okay? Just… stay. There." He opened the door and without another word slipped silently into the dark living room.

The door shut with a heavy _clunk_, and Zack sagged against his bedcovers, his mind whirling. What in the _world_…?


	12. Cody Needs A Hug

**A/N: Warning: Severe fluff. Beware of toothaches.**

Cody shut himself in the bathroom, gasping. Backed against the door, he slid slowly to the floor.

Oh… God…

The enormity of what he'd done hit him heavily. And kept on hitting him. In fact, the longer he thought about it, the quicker his breathing became.

He looked around for his pants, spotting them by the bath. They looked wet. _Oops…_ _must have splashed water on them earlier_, he thought, cringing. Wet clothes picked up germs much more easily than dry clothes… why had Cody been so careless?

He walked over to the pants, removing the baby wipes from his back pocket. He stared at the plastic packet; the terrible feeling of _uncleanliness_ returned with a vengeance, and Cody ripped the package open at once, grabbing a handful of wipes. He opened each one and dabbed all of them across his chest, wiping and wiping.

He managed to get most of the spunk off, although now his skin smelled funny. Like lemons and diapers. That was almost worse—the scent made Cody want to hurl.

He crossed over to the tub with a sinking feeling. _Oops_, he thought again. _I… kind of forgot to drain the bathtub, too_. He looked guiltily at the soggy pile of washcloths at the bottom of the tub. _Hmm_…

He removed his bathrobe, hanging it on the sink so that he could lean into the tub without worrying about getting it wet. He grabbed the pile of cloths, pulling them out of the water—watching in fascination as liquid drizzled back into the tub. He separated one cloth from the others and dropped the rest back into the water with a wet, echoing _plop_. The _swish_ of gentle waves as they lapped at the edges of the tub sounded very loud to Cody's ears in the relative stillness of the room. He wrung some of the water out of the washcloth he was holding, twisting and shaking it till it was relatively dry.

Satisfied, he stepped back from the tub. He briefly considered emptying it, but decided against it: to do so would make way too much noise and might even wake their mother up.

_Then again, maybe not_, he reminded himself. If Carey hadn't heard Zack's outrageously loud moaning, absolutely nothing was going to wake her.

Fine… he decided once again not to empty the tub, but this time just out of general laziness.

Walking over to the sink, he turned on the warm water and ran the cloth under the tap. When it was thoroughly soaked, he wiped the remaining come off of his chest, and even came out smelling a little cleaner. He hoped. The filthy feeling dissipated and Cody sighed in relief, dropping the cloth into the sink with a sigh.

By this time, Cody's erection had disappeared completely, thoughts of germs and dirty bathwater having done the trick nicely. He nodded at his reflection, satisfied that he looked presentable, if a little shaken; grabbed his bathrobe and baby wipes; and left the bathroom.

Zack sat up at the timid knock on the door. Cody let himself in, looking sheepish. He shot Cody his best 'what the hell?' look, but Cody merely shook his head, too tired to explain. He'd been half-hoping Zack would be asleep by the time he returned, but no matter.

Cody sat down on Zack's bed. Zack sagged a little in relief as he did so. Well-deserved confusion warred with worry in his mind as he took in Cody's drooping eyes and dragging feet.

Zack had been extremely worried when Cody had left so suddenly, fearing that by the time he came back, he'd have convinced himself that being with his brother was wrong again, and would treat Zack coldly, as if none of this had ever happened.

And so at Cody's hesitant smile, Zack did something he very rarely did—he thanked the Lord. Thank the _heavens_ above that Cody was still comfortable enough to return. It said a lot about the future of their… whatever it was they had between them now. Zack didn't think he could have bared it if he'd been forced to spend the night alone.

Zack shivered, crossing his arms. The bedroom air was cold and unforgiving.

"Why'd you just take off like that?" Zack asked. Cody shook his head without answering, but lay down beside him even so, proving to Zack that whatever strange mood Cody had landed himself in now… at the very least, was not anger. And Zack could live with that.

Cody scooted closer to Zack under the covers, burrowing his pointed elbows and gangly limbs into Zack's soft, warm body. Zack smiled at the endearing, if painful gesture. He reached out a cautious hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Cody's ear, who smiled sweetly at him, if a bit more shallowly than usual.

"Is everything okay?" Zack asked somewhat guiltily. He remembered something. "You know, I didn't return the favor; if you'd like, I can—"

"No, please, it's fine," Cody said tiredly. Zack reached up and turned out the last light, sighing heavily.

"Are you sure—?" Zack began. Cody quieted him with a kiss.

"I'm sure. Please stop asking."

And Zack complied, the thrill of being kissed, along with the lingering, post-coital afterglow, served to brush his concerns away.

For a few silent, aching minutes, both of them lay next to one another, unmoving but not uncomfotable.

Zack was just starting to drift into sleep when heard a small whimper pierce the dark. His eyes snapped open and he sat up.

Zack could not see Cody very well, but what he did see of Cody's expression frightened him. Cody looked absolutely miserable.

"Cody? Cody, what's wrong?" Zack murmured drowsily, concern and exhaustion coloring his voice.

"Zack…?" came a very, very small voice from somewhere in front of him.

"…Yeah?" Zack breathed. "What is it?"

"Hold me?"

At once, strong arms snaked around Cody's shivering form from behind and pulled him close, wrapping him in heat. Zack breathed into Cody's ear, smacking his lips in sleepy contentment. He wriggled closer to Cody, almost as an afterthought.

"Good?"

"...yeah..." Zack tucked Cody's head under his chin, and lay back down with a sigh, closing his eyes.

Zack was still naked under the blankets. Cody stilled as he realized this, swallowing.

"Zack?"

Zack huffed, a little less patiently, not bothering to open his heavy lids. "_Yeah_, Cody?"

"Do you think you could… put your pants back on?"

Zack froze, eyes snapping wide as sleep was momentarily forgotten. Swallowing heavily at the bile that rose unbidden in his throat. He untangled himself from Cody and stepped out of bed without a word.

He immediately stepped on something sharp and stumbled, swearing. Eventually, though, _miraculously_, he found his pajama bottoms and pulled them on, feeling shaky and unstable as he did so.

He climbed back into bed, crawling over Cody's huddled form carefully and pulling him tight against his chest once he was safely under the covers.

Cody smiled for real this time, though Zack couldn't see it, relaxing into his brother's embrace; Zack could only feel it in the curve of lips against his shoulder, the gentle rise and fall as Cody's breathing slowed. He continued to hold Cody warmly, cradling him in heat.

He made a mental note to find out what the hell was _up_ with his crazy-ass little brother tomorrow morning, once he was thinking more coherently. For now, though—sleep.

Zack sighed deeply, and promptly passed out.


	13. Cody Says Farewell

The blare of his alarm clock woke Cody at 7:00 a.m., bright and early as always. His hand snaked blindly out from under the covers to shut it off, but instead of the table he'd expected his palm met empty air. His eyes opened blearily.

_Whoa_, Cody thought, suddenly dizzy. He realized he was viewing everything in the room from an odd angle—the ample dust which floated in the air was illuminated by the diffuse glow of morning light as always, but- and his brow wrinkled its confusion when he noticed- the sunbeams were cascading down in the wrong direction.

Cody squinted. If that was his bed, over there… then what was he doing over here? He frowned, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Tried to remember.

He recalled falling asleep really late last night… Had he stumbled into the wrong bed by accident?

Cody struggled to sit up, but something kept him trapped against the bed. Arms.

_Huh?_ He peeked over his shoulder and to his surprise spotted his brother, snoozing away beside him.

Memories of the previous day and a half flooded him in a rush, Cody's brain quickly catching up with the rest of him. He felt vaguely light headed.

He carefully removed the arm that was draped across his chest and placed it gently on the bed. He allowed his feet to slide out of the bed's warm bubble of air, bending his knees and bracing his weight against the carpet. He shivered as his skin met the colder bedroom air, but resisted the urge to dive back into the bed's comfortable heat in favor of standing.

He stretched, and as he did so turned back to glance down at his brother.

The contours of Zack's face were soft and peaceful in repose; so very unlike those spirited grins that stirred by waking glow. His chest rose and fell too easily; his every breath stole bit by bit the air from Cody's lungs. It ached to look at him, at such sensual lethargy—for Cody knew what every genetic test would deny.

They may forever be identical, but he would never find Zack's equal.

Zack snorted loudly, the sound shaking Cody out of his stupor. He watched on in disbelieving amusement when Zack tipped over in his sleep, his arms folding under him as he rolled into the space where Cody had been resting moments ago. His body was soon lost inside a mighty blanket cocoon.

Cody smiled at the spectacle despite himself. His throat clenched.

The alarm continued to blare its wakeup call from Cody's bedside table, but still his brother didn't wake. Zack had apparently trained himself years ago to ignore the sounds of Cody getting ready in the morning—often, a full four hours earlier than Zack himself.

Cody went over to the bleating device and turned it off. He reached under his bed ruffle, grabbing the long plastic shoebox that contained his sneakers, and crossed to his dresser to pick out a striped polo and some khaki cargo shorts. He changed into them quickly, sitting on his bed so he could tie his shoes. He yawned.

Making sure not to wake his brother, Cody snatched his double-handled pocket wallet—or what Zack had mockingly dubbed his 'man-purse'—from off its hook and left the bedroom.

He intended to head to the library as soon as possible and make it home again before Zack woke up; that way Cody could read in peace for a couple of hours without having to worry about Zack freaking out in his absence.

Cody had begun to notice a new development in his brother's behavior lately, that had started even before the other day's kiss—a certain tendency to overreact in matters that concerned Cody. It mystified him.

He wondered how so much could change in the space of a few short days. What _were_ he and Zack to one another now? Boyfriends?

Cody swallowed heavily at the thought, coming to a halt as he reached the door to their suite.

_That… _was certainly out of the question. They were brothers. Brothers couldn't be boyfriends, by definition.

It just didn't bear thinking about.

Besides… Cody was reminded guiltily of the girl who was supposed to be his girlfriend. Cody was already going out with Barbara. To 'go out' with his brother—what a strange concept!—would definitely count as cheating in Cody's book.

_Not to mention kissing and sucking off said brother._ The thought made Cody's skin squirm; gnawing at the edge of his brain, offending Cody's highly attuned sense of moral duty.

He didn't know whether this… _thing_ he had with Zack was going to be permanent, or if it was just some cosmic lapse in judgment on both their parts.

But either way, Cody couldn't conscionably continue exploring his feelings with Zack while he had a girlfriend to think about. It would be, put plainly, _wrong_. If Cody truly cared about Barbara's feelings at all—and he _did_—then Cody owed it to her to be honest.

The choice that lay before him now was clear. He _could_ go on pretending to be interested in Barbara for the sake of their relationship (which Cody knew was very important to Barbara); at least, until she found out it was all a lie and got hurt.

Or… Cody gulped, heart sinking. He could tell Zack it was over.

Cody turned around slowly, dropping his bag to the floor. He seized the kitchen phone and, not thinking about what he was doing, dialed Barbara's number. He pressed the receiver to his ear, anxiously counting the rings.

"Hello?" A feminine voice finally answered. "Is this Cody?"

"Hi, Barbara," Cody said, twisting the phone's cord around one finger. "Yeah, it's… just me." Barbara yawned loudly over the line. Cody frowned. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No… I was up anyway. You heading out to the library later?"

"Yes, I was just leaving," Cody said, rocking on his feet. "Actually… I was wondering if you'd meet me there."

"What, _now_?" Barbara asked incredulously. "The library just opened."

"Yes, now." Cody's heart was jarringly jittery. "If it's not too much of a burden." He exhaled. "I need to talk to you about something. It's… important."

Barbara let out a slow breath. "All right? How about you, um, head over there now, and… I can be there in ten minutes." She paused. "Is everything okay, Cody? Should I be worried?"

"No, it's not really—" He stopped, biting his lip. "Well, maybe." No point in lying. He doubted she'd believe him anyway.

But he couldn't exactly tell the truth!

He settled for highly flexible ambiguity. "I'll tell you… in the near future."

The phone crackled as Barbara let loose a heavy sigh on the other line.

"Do you always go this early?"

Cody stared at the phone in his hand. "Of course."

Another sigh. "You know, I'm really glad I'm dating someone crazier than I am. It is _so_ good for the ego."

"Uh huh." Cody felt antsy. If he was going to walk, he'd have to leave now in order to make it to the library before the big crowds started trickling in. "So is that a… yes?"

"That's an 'all right, fine'."

"Close enough." Cody decided to lay it on thick. "Thank you for agreeing on such short notice, Barbara. I'm _very, very_ grateful."

"Sure you are… see you there in ten?"

"Absolutely." Cody hung up, sighing his relief. He grabbed his man-purse.

* * *

Cody didn't know exactly what he was going to say to her. He sure as hell wasn't about to admit to having... _relations_ with his brother. But he had to say something.

He increased his pace as he neared the elevator. Cody felt very risqué—he _never_ behaved on impulse like this. He had no plans for what to say or do once he got to the Library; he had only the thrills in his gut to guide him.

_Zack must be rubbing off on me._

* * *

"What did you want to talk about?" Barbara had asked when she arrived. She had looked fairly calm as she said it, but enough nervousness leaked into her tone that it was clear she had suspicions as to what this conversation would be about.

Barbara had brought a snack, complaining that he'd made her miss breakfast, so Cody had told her to eat first before they had their talk. He felt bad for leaving her hanging, but there were a few things he had to explain right away, and it might be better if Barbara didn't hear it on an empty stomach.

They were sitting on a bench some distance away from the library steps. As Barbara finished off the rest of her pita bread, Cody cleared his throat, turning to face her.

"Barbara, I really care about you. And you haven't expressed it in as many words, but I think I understand that you care for me deeply, as well. You and me, we're wonderful together." He reached for Barbara's hand, squeezing it bracingly. "Over the past couple of months… I think I've even come to love you."

Barbara nodded slowly. She swallowed her mouthful, wiping crumbs off her lips. "…But?"

Cody's eyes widened ever so slightly. "What makes you think there's a 'but'?" he asked, frowning.

Barbara sighed. "Come on, Cody, it's obvious you're breaking up with me."

Cody gaped.

"It's okay," she continued easily. "Really… I prepared myself for this eventuality a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to pluck up the courage to tell me." She licked the last of the hummus off her fingers, and zipped up her lunch box. "I mean, it's not like I wasn't already aware that you're… you know."

Cody's heart started beating faster. "What?" he asked, harshly. Barbara shrugged. "That I'm… _what_?"

"Well," Barbara said carefully, pushing her glasses further up her nose. "Interested in men."

Cody's mouth worked up and down for several moments before he regained the power to speak.

"Why does _everyone_ think that?" He blurted, finally. Barbara's eyes widened.

"Well, aren't you?"

Cody spluttered at Barbara's knowing look. His ears reddened. "Well—well, that's not the point, is it? Everybody just automatically _assumes_—"

"Cody, relax. It's not a big deal." She patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "I don't mind, really. I love you anyway."

Cody froze, breath catching in his throat. "…You mean?… Oh, no," he moaned, slouching in his seat. "I'm so sorry, Barbara, I didn't realize you _felt_ that way…"

Barbara raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" Realization dawned. She chuckled. "Oh, Cody…" Barbara tugged on the sleeve of Cody's shirt, and he turned to her warily. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I love you, but I'm… well, no offense, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

"You're not?" Cody dropped his hands into his laps. "Oh. You're not."

Barbara backtracked hastily. "Not that you're unloveable, or anything! You're wonderful. Really. You're kind, sweet, smart…"

"Thanks," Cody said, sniffing. "But I know I'm not… _charming_, like Zack." He crossed his arms. "You probably would have preferred to date him, anyway. I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"Don't sell yourself short, Cody. You're very romantic. Besides… why would I want to date your _brother_? Zack is—well, he's Zack." Barbara looked faintly disgusted as she said it. It made Cody feel a little better.

Cody wiped at his eyes. He snorted ironically at himself. "Why do I feel like you're breaking up with _me_?"

Barbara laughed, shaking her head. "You know, I also think you're funnier than Zack, when you want to be. In your own way." She grinned slowly. "And much cuter." She reached out and ruffled Cody's hair as if to demonstrate.

"Thanks…" he said, fixing his hair. His voice broke a little as he said it, and he cursed himself.

Barbara waited quietly as Cody looked away and tried to compose his facial features. She knew he was disappointed at the direction the meeting had gone by the way he avoided her gaze. She smoothed the hair over his right eye, curling the ends behind his ear. "Does anyone else know you're gay?" She asked hesitantly.

Cody scowled at her, but softened as he took in her kind smile. His palms felt kind of sweaty, and he was pretty sure he should have taken his own advice and eaten something before leaving the hotel, because his stomach was tying itself in knots. He let out a ragged breath.

"Is it really that obvious?" He said finally, deflating a little.

"Aw… I'm sorry," Barbara cooed, putting her arm around his shoulders. Cody leaned into her, feeling small, though he was taller than her. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings…." She swayed their bodies slowly, rubbing his arm. "I should have been a little more considerate… I thought you were at least out to yourself already."

Cody's brain whirred into overdrive, thoughts whizzing in circles too quickly to understand. He felt oddly light, like the first breeze to come along would blow him far away.

"I am _now_," Cody said, realizing as he said the words that they were true. "I just… find it hard to believe. That I'm— that I never even, but you…? And Zack, he was right…" he trailed off.

"Oh, Zack knows?" Barbara winced sympathetically. "How'd he take it when you told him?"

Cody's heart nearly stopped, hearing Zack's name mentioned so casually. He realized what he'd almost let slip, and vowed to be more careful with what he said in the future. He couldn't just lie about it now, though; he'd already said his brother's name.

"Zack? I… didn't tell him. He already knew. Like you." Cody grimaced. Barbara took in his discomfort, and patted him on the back, standing up.

"Didn't take it so well, huh? Maybe you should talk to him about it? I'm sure you guys will be able to work it out, eventually… You two are so close, after all." She said, more softly, "you mean a lot to him, you know. Give him time. He'll accept you."

Cody didn't dare answer. He didn't even breathe.

"I have to be back home soon..." Barbara said regretfully. "I promised my mother I'd help her entertain her guests."

"…Okay." Cody fiddled with his thumbs morosely.

"Are you going to stay here, then?" She asked, bending down to look him in the eyes.

Cody sighed. "…Yeah, I just need some time to think."

"Okay." Barbara leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. He looked at her in surprise. "Don't get too depressed about it, okay? You know you can talk to me any time."

Cody smiled. A wave of gratitude swept over him. She didn't know the gift she had given him today. He doubted she ever would. "Thanks," he said, simply. His throat clenched in his emotion. "I never deserved you."

Barbara clucked. "You're sweet…. But to be honest, I'm the one who didn't deserve you. I doubt I'll ever find anyone else who understands me so well."

A wistful look crossed her features, but when Cody blinked it was gone. She picked up her lunch box and grinned. "Plus, I'm gonna miss all the perks…. The free massages you gave me when I was tired…" She sighed dreamily. "The weekly romantic gifts…."

Cody closed his eyes, realizing with a pang how that particular skill wasn't likely to come in handy for him any time soon. Romance was completely lost on Zack.

Cody opened his eyes, surprised at the thought. _My god, who said anything about _romance_? That would almost seem to imply that I… God, no._

He shook his head._ I really need to eat something; I'm starting to get delusional._

Barbara reached out a friendly hand. Cody looked down; shook it. Barbara squeezed his hand and let go, a sad little smile on her face. "Any guy would be lucky to have you, Cody. I'm jealous already."

With that, she blew Cody a kiss and left him sitting on the bench.


	14. Daydreams In Boston

**A/N: A very short, very weird little chapter. Forgive me, dearest readers, for my mind is a strange jungle that is currently in serious need of weeding.**

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Cody was still on the bench an hour later, but lying horizontally so that he could stare up at the brilliant blue morning sky. The day was more beautiful than he could have asked for, and it suited his new mood perfectly.

Barbara's parting words had been tumbling around in his mind since she'd left. Once Cody had had the chance to calm down and collect his thoughts, he realized that he would be okay. He felt… good. Really good.

Meanwhile, the chilly mist that had hounded him for days now burned away in the simple joy of sun. He felt a weight he hadn't known he'd been carrying spring from his chest, and fly away like so much helium. And even as he was emptied, he became filled with a new, more positive energy.

For the first time in a very, _very_ long time, Cody felt carefree.

He closed his eyes, humming with satisfaction. Not even the vaguely nauseating smells of Boston could ruin his mood today; nor could the periodic honks of passing trucks and swears as their drivers leaned out of windows and yelled at youths in the street.

And as Cody lay there, enjoying this rare moment of lassitude where not a worry in the world could reach him, all background noise slowly faded to a buzz. Cody began to feel disconnected from his surroundings… felt himself enter a private, tranquil silence that wrapped around him and protected him from all the rest of it. Everything.

He listened to the beating of his own heart, which in its meagre palpitations matched the ancient rhythms of the earth, and the relentless pounding of time; and as he sank more deeply into bliss he swore he could even hear the very voice of the Cosmos itself. He heard it speak.

_Cody… _The Cosmos called to him, in mighty and thunderous tones. He smiled. Such a beautiful voice. Low and buttery.

_There you are… thank God I found you…_

Cody sighed. _Amazing…_ Absently, he wondered what the voices were trying to tell him… and whether he was being delivered these messages for some grand eternal purpose.

Perhaps it was some sort of divine test?

The lassitude returned….

_Cody… why aren't you saying... thing…?_ _Can you hear me?... answer me...._

Cody's brow furrowed. The universe wasn't making very much sense. But then, that was the point, wasn't it? It was a puzzle. His job to figure out.

Job…. Cody needed a job…. Maybe the universe was hiring…?

_Are you asleep?_

Cody decided these messages must be metaphors of some kind… But of what? '_Am I asleep_?'... What a concept.... Maybe his whole life really was nothing but a dream. It certainly seemed that way to Cody lately… just a beautiful mirage that would end as soon as he woke up….

_Wake up…. Wake up, you big stupid moron. _

Cody frowned_. _

A slap to the side of his face brought Cody gasping into an upright position.

Zack was waving a hand in front of his eyes, staring at him with concern.

"Oh good, you're awake." Zack glared. "Don't scare me like that."

Cody blinked at Zack stupidly. "Huh?"

"Dude, you are so out of it." He snapped his fingers in front of Cody's face. Cody winced. Zack poked a finger into Cody's chest. "I wake up forty-five minutes ago, turn over, and what do I see?" Another jab. "An empty bed, that's what. And no note, no nothing. When you weren't there... I thought--" Zack paused, cheeks red, and removed his finger from Cody's ribcage sheepishly. "Anyway... I called up Bob and Tape-worm, but they didn't know where you were. So I called Barbara, and she told me she'd left you sitting here _hours_ ago… I drilled her for a while, and she eventually told me you two had a talk; I thought you might have been depressed about it or something, and that was why you left… so I came looking for you."

Zack trailed off at the look on Cody's face. "Why are you staring at me?"

Cody was very confused. "What time is it?"

His brother shrugged. "I don't know, dude, you're the one with the watch." _Oh. Right_.

Cody looked down, and squeaked indignantly. "Two-_thirty_?"

Zack ducked into Cody's line of vision and squinted at him, examining his brother's face with a look of fascination. He poked Cody's cheek experimentally, and Cody yelped.

"Yup. Sun-burn. That is going to hurt like hell tomorrow."

Cody touched his own face and concurred with a grimace. "…Ow."

"Well don't _poke_ it." Zack grabbed Cody's arm and pulled, and with his help Cody was able to stand.

"What are you even doing here?" Cody mumbled, embarrassed to have been caught napping in public. "Aren't you grounded until thursday?" For a moment, panic rose through the dregs of Cody's mind. _By god, what day is it_? But Cody dismissed this initial fear as foolishness. Forty-five minutes, Zack had said.

But then a second, far more terrible thought occurred to him and he looked around frantically—stopping when he spotted his purse under the bench, exactly where he'd left it.

He breathed his relief and grabbed it by the handles. Now Cody felt like even more of an idiot. This bag had his entire _life_ inside it. He opened it just in case, searching for missing items.

Zack stuffed his hands in his pockets and rolled on the balls of his feet, watching him.

"Mom was still out like a light when I woke up," Zack was saying. "Someone must have put something in her drink, or something." A chuckle. "But seriously, I can't remember the last time she slept that long, even after pulling an all-nighter." He grinned proudly. "I snuck out-- it was almost too easy."

Cody, concluding nothing had been stolen, glanced at Zack with mild disbelief. "I can't believe you did that... What if she wakes and notices you're gone? You'll be grounded until your hair falls out."

Zack shrugged helplessly. "_Yeah_… but I was worried that you'd… left. You know." He looked at his shoes. "As in _left_ left." He squished a dandelion against the pavement with his heel. "Punishment was the last thing on my mind."

Cody scoffed, missing the point. "Well, that's nothing new. Since when do _you_ ever think about the consequences of your actions?" He stopped. "Hold on. You did this because of me?"

"Hell yes." Zack stared at him. "You scared the crap out of me, man. I was really worried."

Cody shook his head, half in fondness and half in exasperation. "I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but you've gotta stop being so paranoid all the time, okay? I'm not going to run away." He gazed at Zack pointedly. "And I am _not_ worth getting grounded over."

Zack looked at him solemnly. "Yes, you are."

"Thank you, Zack, but you're not grasping the basic concept here." Cody put his hands on his hips, glaring at him. "If Mom grounds you again we won't be able to go see the new Indiana Jones movie when it comes out! You know how long I've been waiting to _see_ that? Since the last one that came out like three years ago was absolute _crap_!" Cody poked a finger into Zack's chest, only half joking. "You probably didn't even think about that, though, did you?" He shook the finger, gaining momentum. "No-- you just _waltzed _right out of there willy nilly, without even thinking—"

Cody's train of thought was halted by fingers on his arm. He looked up with an incredulous eye, but stilled at the expression on his brother's face.

"You _scared_ me last night," Zack repeated slowly. "What with the tripped-out way you were acting, I didn't know _what_ to think. Okay?" His voice broke, then, and his eyes were suspiciously bright.

Cody blinked. Was Zack… _tearing up_?

"You didn't even want me to _touch_ you…" Zack said, wiping his eyes angrily, "acting like I'd… _forced_ you into it, or something and I… this morning, I thought…" He coughed wetly, covering his mouth. Cody's eyes widened.

He opened his mouth, but words failed him. He wondered how he could have misjudged the situation so spectacularly. Zack's face crumpled, and Cody looked on in distress, unable to help him, because _he_ was the source of it, and all he could think was that Zack was about to break down in the middle of a public street, and he wouldn't want to be _seen_ like this… right in the middle of everything.

"Come on, Zack. Let's go home." He took Zack's hand in his, smiling at him reassuringly. "I'm all right. See? Nothing to worry about. I'll explain it all when we get back... That sound okay?"

Zack nodded. He rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah."


	15. Zack Makes Lasagna

**A/N: This chapter slays me. It's the longest one yet, and it took TWO WHOLE DAYS to write. It was a monster to edit. But I hope you all enjoy it, because I wrote it with love in my heart for those wonderful reviewers who have been supporting my writing each step of the way- keeping me motivated. So for those people, and from the bottom of my heart: thank you! Here's a little present!**

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Zack could not believe his luck. He and Cody got home literally eight minutes before their mother woke up, yawning groggily and scratching at the bridge of her nose.

She waved tiredly at Cody and Zack, apologizing for having slept so late—"Really, I don't know what came over me. I was just making myself a smoothie with that new banana kiwi mixer and suddenly I felt so tired…"—and Zack and Cody accepted her apologies with good graces and huge smiles.

When pressed, they managed to convince Carey that Zack had been drawing pictures in his room all morning, and that Cody had been with Barbara at the library.

"How mature of you, Zack," Carey said, hands clutching a hot mug of coffee that Cody had, in a stroke of genius, thought to make for her just as she was starting to wake. That had certainly won him major brownie points. "Cooped up in here all morning and you still stayed quiet, just so your poor mother could sleep. _Oh_," she said happily, "my little boy is growing up… becoming a mature adult."

She swooped down and kissed Zack on the cheek, mussing his hair fondly. "Yes he is! _Yes he is!_"

"Mom!" Zack moved away, smoothing his hair with a scowl. "We've talked about this."

Carey pursed her lips at him, looking repentant. "…Sorry."

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Cody and Zack relaxed on the couch and ate popcorn until the sun dipped low into the sky, casting an orange glow about the living room, and chatted easily about everything and anything. They didn't even mind that much when Carey chimed in partway through an argument over whether holding an intervention with Arwin about his hair was really necessary. The conversation turned to the subject of movies, the three of them gossiping for a while about the upcoming Indiana Jones film; laughing as they shared their doubts over whether it would be any better than the last.

It felt good to be lazy. The hectic whirlwind of the last few days had finally caught up to Zack, and he was grateful that the worst of the storm seemed to have passed.

Carey turned to him. "You know, Zack- I've been really impressed with your attitude today. You've been agreeable, considerate... I'm really tempted to lift the ban on movies for a little while—"

Zack's eyes widened in glee, and he turned to Cody with a grin. They high fived and wiggled their fingers at one another, twin style. Carey surveyed them sternly. "Don't be getting any ideas... It would just be for tonight. You understand?" Zack bowed his head. "Your punishment resumes tomorrow morning."

Zack nodded. "Yes, mommy."

"Good," Carey said, slouching back into her seat. Zack concealed a smug smile with the palm of his hand.

Carey continued their earlier discussion. "I'm proud to see you finally taking responsibility for your actions. It makes for a nice change."

"Thanks?" he said.

"You're very welcome," she smiled, patting Zack's leg, and stood with a stretch. Several harsh _popping_ noises wrenched the air. "Ope, there goes my back…" she groaned, leaning in the other direction. "And my hips. And my neck, ow!" Carey sat back gingerly onto the couch, wincing. "I'm so old."

Zack smelled golden opportunity. "You're not old, Mother," he said smiling, wrapping an arm bracingly about her shoulders. "You don't look a _day _over forty-five."

Carey turned to look at him, eyebrow raised.

Zack held up his hands defensively. "Don't feel bad about it, though. That's _young_, in mom years."

Cody snickered despite himself, and their mother shot him a dirty look.

"I'm so glad I have you two around to make me feel beautiful," she said sarcastically, heading over to the fridge. She gazed at its contents assessingly, hand planted absentmindedly on one hip. "You boys want anything?"

They declined.

"Speaking of movies," Carey said, grabbing a diet coke, "there's this one that just came out this Friday, called _Silent Skies_. Have you heard of it?" They shook their heads. "I hear it's really good. Would either of you boys be interested in going to see it with me?"

Zack stared at her through one beady eye. "Is it a chick flick?" he asked, suspiciously.

Carey shrugged. Zack crossed his arms. "Okay, what's it about?"

She smiled. "_Well_, it's about this girl who's lived on a small farm outside Oklahoma City her entire life-only, she's always _dreamed_ of being a supermodel—"

"Count me out," Zack moaned, making a face. "Please," he added quickly at Carey's hurt look. She pouted and turned to Cody hopefully.

Cody averted his eyes. "Er… sorry, mom, but I'm kind of tired. I think I'll head to bed early." He looked at her, and away again. "Sorry."

Carey pressed a hand on his forehead, concerned. "Without dinner? Are you feeling all right?"

"Oh, yes," he said quickly, "I'm fine, just exhausted. You go without me."

Carey sighed. "Suit yourself, then. I think I'm gonna catch the seven o'clock show… which is in," she did a double take at her watch "fifteen minutes? Wow, that's inconvenient… I hope I make it." She addressed her boys. "Don't worry, I can make us dinner when I get back."

Zack and Cody waved their arms. "No! It's okay, really…"

"Yeah, we're full…"

"Had a big lunch."

Carey looked at them skeptically. "Well, okay… just don't come crying to me later about being hungry." She grabbed her keys and purse. "Don't stay up too late watching scary movies. All right? That means you, Zack." She eyed the empty bags of popcorn strewn about the floor. "And _somebody_ is cleaning this up." She looked briefly at Zack, but her eyes slid invariably to Cody.

Cody nodded, resigned. Carey blew the brothers a kiss, hovering by the door. "I should be back around nine-thirtyish," she said, but suddenly her face went blank. "Oh my gosh, what's the date?"

"...The thirtieth?"

"Oh, oh _oh_... There was that sixty percent off everything sale over at JC Penny's-I'm pretty sure it expires today… Darn it! And I really liked that purple dress!" She shook her head sadly. "Such a waste."

Cody looked at his nails. "Sorry to hear that."

"Maybe I'll go pick it up before I get back." Carey tapped the door frame with a painted fingernail. "Is that all right with you guys? It'd mean I wouldn't get home till around ten-ish."

"Sounds good, mom. Good _bye_," Zack said, smiling through clenched teeth.

Carey continued staring into space. "I wonder if Subway is open that late. I could really use a sandwich..." Her hand wavered over the door handle. She nodded, turning to the twins. "Better make that eleven, then. Kay?"

"Yeah, whatever..."

"We miss you already."

"Alright, then- bye!" Carey opened the door decisively, waved to her boys, and walked out of the suite, slamming the door behind her. Zack and Cody exchanged eyerolls.

The door reopened, and Carey popped her head in. "_Definitely_ by twelve." The door slammed shut once again.

Zack sighed, shaking his head. He picked up the remote to the TV and began lazily flicking through the available channels. He stopped as a wrestling match came on, and stared, fascinated.

The guy who appeared to be winning the match was _fit_- and he was wearing nothing but a pair of green boxer shorts, that read BITE ME in big yellow letters across the front. _What is that guy's issue?_ Zack thought to himself, laughing. Guy looked ridiculous. And his shorts were _way_ too tight. His eyebrows rose as the man leapt on top of his partner and grabbed his neck in a vice grip, until his eyes bulged.

Zack glanced at the message flashing across the bottom of the screen. _The 'Mighty Python' strikes again…?_

Corny... But also strangely appropriate.

Meanwhile, on the couch beside him, Cody was frowning. "Zack, Mom said _movies_. Not television."

"Yeah, yeah," Zack said, not looking away. That Python dude was… licking the other guy's ankle? _What the heck?_ The crowd cheered loudly as Python bit down and the other guy screamed.

"…All right then." Cody hesitated on the couch, as if waiting for Zack to say something more. Zack glanced at him briefly, but in a flash returned to the screen as the crowd began to scream and boo. The other dude—_Red Bull, _according to the scores—had kicked Python in the head.

Zack laughed boisterously, slapping his knee, while Cody rolled his eyes. "Wow..."

Zack fished around in the popcorn bowl, but his fingers came back empty. His hand left the container and began roaming around the edges of the seat cushion, wiping and poking until his digits came across a few stray kernels that had fallen between the seats. He smiled triumphantly and popped them into his mouth, happily crunching away, his eyes still glued to the screen.

Cody watched, vaguely disgusted.

After a moment, Zack made a weird face and pulled a bit of fuzz off his tongue. That done, he returned his focus to the screen. His hand began creeping across the cushion once again, until Cody slapped his hand away.

Zack turned to stare at him with a wounded expression, and Cody glared- although he was glad to finally have his brother's attention. Unfortunately, at that moment the crowd cheered again, and Zack went right back to ignoring him.

Cody looked down at his lap, picking at a loose stitch in his pants.

"You know, Zack... we have all this time to ourselves. Now could be a good time to catch up on things. You know? Throw some water under the bridge." Cody bit his lip and looked at his brother, whose mouth was slightly agape. "Zack?" Zack whooped suddenly, and Cody rolled his eyes.

"_Zack_!"

"Yeah?" Zack said, not tearing his eyes from the screen. Cody looked at him, and sighed.

"…Nevermind."

He waited a few more moments, then completely gave up. He stood and headed for the bedroom. "I think I really _will_ go take a nap now," he announced, slowly and deliberately. He paused in the doorway, waiting for his brother's reaction.

"Okay," Zack said with indifference. Python and Red Bull were by this point rolling around in the ring and smacking each other's butts raucously. Zack laughed again, louder this time.

"…All right, then," Cody muttered. He turned and slipped into the bedroom, the door shutting quietly after him. Zack didn't even notice, focused as he was on the game.

Meanwhile, the onscreen battle grew more ridiculous by the second. Zack was soon forced to watch from between parted fingers, and even then couldn't stand much longer the sight of two grown men embarrassing themselves onstage in such a way. Eventually, it became far too upsetting, even by Zack's standards. He clicked off the TV and slouched against the couch with a sigh. "Man, that was _insanity_."

His stomach growled, interrupting his thoughts. He frowned.

Zack debated disturbing Cody's nap so he could ask him to whip up some dinner- but decided finally that it would be pretty presumptuous of him. After all, Cody probably really needed his sleep. Long day... Sunburns. He wondered if that was still hurting Cody, and thought about digging through the bathroom drawers for some aloe vera… he was almost _positive_ he'd seen some lying around just recently.

Zack stared at his reflection in the TV screen, surprised with himself.

_Wow, Mom's right. I am becoming more mature! Maybe even more mature than Cody…. _

Zack's mind wandered again to his brother.

Without the comfort of television to distract him, however, Zack could more easily reflect upon the implications of Cody's sullen retreat into the bedroom. His grin disappeared, and at once guilt's icy fingernails began to prick at the curve of his spine.

_No. If I was half as mature as Cody I wouldn't have blown him off like that_. Now that he thought about it, Zack highly doubted Cody was sleeping at all. He was probably just moping resentfully. And no wonder.

Zack wiped his damp palms down his face, stretching the skin of his cheeks. "Why am I such a dick?" he asked the ceiling, exasperated.

There was no delaying the inevitable. Zack would have to apologize to Cody one way or another. As always when facing an expected snag in relationships, his mind turned to gifts. Sure, Cody wasn't a girl. But he was kind of like a girl, in some respects. And girls liked presents when they were upset.

But what could he get him that Cody didn't already have? Zack was always broke, and today was no exception. Luckily, Zack didn't think Cody would be as excited about jewelry as the girls he usually dated were, anyway, so that wasn't too much of a problem. He brooded for a while more, slouching against the couch.

He snapped his fingers; he thought he might have an idea. And it was a good one! He almost couldn't believe he'd thought of it.

Zack... could cook _Cody_ dinner! He bet Cody would totally dig some lasagna right about now—after all, who wouldn't? Zack certainly wouldn't. He nodded at his reflection with satisfaction and imagined his brother's smile of delight once he saw Zack's thoughtful gift. _Chez Zackarie_ was in the hizz-ouse!

He strolled to the kitchen with confidence in his step, but came to a halt in front of the sink. He stared at the spice cupboard warily.

Lasagna… lasagna… hell, what was even in lasagna? Zack thought about it, hard. _Noodles… tomato sauce… cheese…._

It couldn't be that hard. Cody made it all the time. Resolved, he commenced his search, pulling ingredients down from cupboards as he thought of them.

Zack ended up finding most of what he thought he needed. He found the lasagna noodles right away. The cheese was a bit more difficult… there wasn't any mozzarella, so that was out, but they did have Gorgonzola. And a little bit of swiss that Zack hadn't finished from the other day, helpfully preserved in plastic wrap.

That just left the tomato sauce. Zack frowned thoughtfully. That could definitely be an issue, seeing as they were fresh out of that, too.

Only one solution remained. He would just have to make it from scratch.

"No problem," Zack said to himself, pulling out a pot and some canned tomato soup that he dug out of the closet. The label on the can said it had ham and something called 'split peas' in it, in addition to tomatoes, but when Zack pulled off the lid and sniffed the soup it smelled about the same. Zack figured it probably tasted about the same, too, especially once it was all heated up and such… Zack remembered Cody mentioning that to him once, how cooking things made them healthier.

He poured it into the pot. The soup made disgusting gurgling noises as it sloshed around on the bottom of the pan. Zack stared at it.

Now that he thought about it, he was pretty damned sure there had to be water in a pot before you could start boiling something. But somehow Zack highly doubted pouring a bunch of water onto that mess would improve the taste at all. Still, Zack had to heat it up somehow.

He slapped his forehead, feeling silly. Duh! The microwave!

Zack carefully poured the pot of soup into a bowl. The bowl was a little small, so the soup came all the way to the rim. No matter. Zack would just walk slowly. He grasped the bowl and slowly, slowly, slowly, made his way to the microwave. The liquid level teetered dangerously at several points, and a little bit of it spilled down his wrist, but he made it to the counter without too many issues.

He put the bowl in the microwave and thought about what setting to use. There was a setting for 'meat', a setting for 'reheat', a setting for 'beverages'… Well, soup was sort of like a beverage. Zack clicked the button, and the microwave asked him to type in the number of ounces. Zack stared. Ounces? He looked down at the bowl, weighed it in his hands. Bowl was probably a good two, three pounds? _Ounces in a pound, ounces in a pound…. Sixteen. Ha! _So, three pounds, sixteen ounces, that made… he counted… forty-eight ounces. _Right_. Zack punched in the numbers.

He closed the microwave door, and stood back with his arms crossed. Well, now all he'd have to do was wait for that to be finished. He turned to the box of dried noodles. Those _needed_ to be boiled; Zack knew that part for sure. He rinsed out the pot he'd used before and filled it with water, setting the stove on high. Dumped in the noodles. Bingo.

Cheese time. Zack got out a knife, and looked at the Gorgonzola. Then at the swiss. Then at the Gorgonzola.

Zack salivated. They both looked so good! He just couldn't choose.

He took the swiss, carefully slicing it into equally sized chunks—precision was very important when cooking, he recalled from one of Cody's many cooking lectures—and added the cuttings to a pile of Gorgonzola clumps. The cheese, he knew, had to be added between layers of noodles, and then the whole thing had to be baked in an oven.

Easy, peasy. He wiped his hands on a towel and turned back to the microwave.

The sauce sure was taking a long time. Zack wondered if he'd miscalculated the number of ounces involved, and if that was why it was taking so long. He recounted inwardly, brow furrowed... No, sixteen times three was definitely forty-eight... Huh.

Zack squinted through the microwave door, taking a few steps closer as he noticed that something was _definitely_ not right. The soup was bubbling with fury—the surface of the liquid danced wildly, and as Zack watched, powerless to stop it, huge streams of the watery goo began spilling down the sides of the bowl. Oh, _shit!_ Zack took a few hurried steps and reached out a hand to stop the timer.

Too late.

BOOM! Zack jumped back as the soup exploded, steaming water flying everywhere and smothering the microwave walls. There was a clattering noise as the bowl was thrown about inside, and then a god-awful crack as it slammed against the microwave door.

Zack stared at it in horror.

The bedroom door opened Cody ran out and looked around, spotting at once his brother, who was gaping wordlessly at the wall. "Zack? Are you all right? My God," he gasped, taking in the sight of the ruined microwave, "What _happened_?"

He surveyed the kitchen as Zack came out of his stupor, spotting the pile of cheese and the bubbling noodles, then stopped, turning quickly to stare at Zack. "Were you making… dinner?"

Zack ran over to him and clapped his hand over Cody's eyes. "Um, nothing to see here! Go back to bed." He pushed at Cody's shoulders uselessly.

Cody raised an eyebrow underneath Zack's palm. It tickled, a little. "Really, Zack?"

Zack drooped, letting go of his face. "Okay, yes, I was making dinner." He wiped his hands on his pants, taking in the mess that awaited him with a grimace. "Trying to, at least." He sighed heavily. "I don't even _want_ to think about cleaning this up."

Cody, meanwhile, was looking at Zack in quiet amazement. "Out of curiosity... what the heck were you trying to _make_?"

Zack looked at the noodles on the stove, at the disaster once again, and then at Cody. "Lasagna?"

Cody snorted, then clapped a hand over his mouth with wide eyes. He looked horrified at himself. "Sorry, Zack, I just… what the hell were you thinking?"

Zack looked mutinous. "It isn't funny. I tried my best!"

Cody stepped over to his brother, patting his shoulder comfortingly. "I know, Zack. I'm sorry." He bit his lip.

"No, Cody... I'm the one who should be sorry." Zack sighed, rubbing his elbows with both hands. "I only did all this because... I was trying to apologize, for earlier." He shrugged uncomfortably at Cody's small, knowing smile. "I was kind of insensitive when we got home, you know? I knew you wanted to talk stuff out, or whatever." He trailed off.

Still smiling, Cody shook his head. "So all this... loveliness," he gestured, "was for my sake?"

The corner of Zack's mouth lifted just a little. "Yes?"

Cody took the few remaining steps separating them, and jumped on his brother, squeezing him tightly. Zack had his arms up in seconds and was soon returning the embrace, chin tucked against Cody's shoulder.

Cody drew back and gave Zack a long, full-lipped kiss. "That," he said fondly when he was done, and Zack's eyes had grown a bit cloudy and distracted, "is adorable." He smiled at him beatifically. "Apology definitely accepted." Zack's heart fluttered in his chest at Cody's expression, blinded by some emotion he didn't understand. Whatever it was, it made his knees weak.

Cody glanced at the microwave, amusement flickering in his eyes.

Zack stared at his friend, unsure. "You're not... mad at me for messing up your kitchen?"

"Nope." Cody smiled, and crossed over to the cupboard beneath the sink. "Come on," he gestured toward the general chaos, "let's clean this slop. Shall we?" He rummaged around for a bit, then tossed two sponges, a scrub brush, rubber gloves, a bottle of Windex, and some wipes over his shoulder in Zack's direction. "Put those gloves on," he ordered.

Zack caught the objects with ease, holding the windex to the light curiously to examine the label. Gave it a cautious squirt. He realized, then, as he watched the jet of clear blue liquid stream through the air, that Cody really did appreciate his gift; however disastrous it had turned out to be. And this was Cody's way of returning the favor. He grinned, looking over at his brother. "You're the best, man."

Cody, still bent at the waist, turned his head and flashed Zack a suggestive smile.

Zack felt an answering _whoop_ in his gut, and turned bright red. He dropped the brush.

* * *

"Thanks for helping me clean," Zack told Cody, once they had cleared out the broken bowl, wiped down all the surfaces that had been ruined from the explosion, and taken the noodles off the stove.

"No harm done; it was my pleasure," Cody said, looking like he meant it. Zack hid a smile behind a yawn. _What_ a dork.

"I'm really sorry for ruining dinner," Zack continued, as he and Cody finished cleaning and washed their hands at the sink. Cody met his gaze evenly, and shrugged.

"Actually, the noodles are fine. And they're ready to go—if you want, we could still make that lasagna."

Zack stared. "How? We don't have any of the right ingredients. I checked."

Cody stared back. "Zack, we live in a hotel. I'll just ring up Pablo and ask him to send somebody up."

"...Oh," Zack said, feeling stupid.

Cody took pity on him, drying his hands on a towel. "I'll show you how to make it, if you like. It's about time you learned to make something other than cereal and tacos. And lasagna is actually pretty simple."

Zack glared at him. Cody held up his hands. "_Once_ you learn how to make it, obviously."

When the ingredients arrived, Cody set Zack to cutting up tomatoes, demonstrating the right way to slice and dice and telling him how to decide what kind of cheese was best for any particular Italian dish one wished to make. Most of it went right over Zack's head, but he did what Cody asked of him without complaint.

Privately, he was impressed with Cody's considerable knowledge of the subject.

"Where did you _learn_ all this stuff?" he asked finally, when Cody had finished telling him about how noodles had originated in China, and how the many different styles and shapes of the noodles purchasable in grocery stores had only been invented in the last few centuries.

Cody looked strangely flustered at the question, shrugging, although Zack could see the subdued pride in his eyes. "Some of it, Pablo taught me. Some... I guess I taught myself."

Zack shook his head. "You know- you really are one of the brightest kids I've ever met, Codes." He put his knife down for a moment so he could look at him. "I know I don't say this very much, but... I like that about you. How smart you are." Quietly: "I think it's kind of cool."

Cody avoided his gaze, reddening. "How can that be true? You've called me a dork my whole life. And a nerd. And you gave me wedgies and stuff, like every day in Middle School."

Zack rubbed the back of his neck. "…_Yeah_, okay, I did. But to tell you the truth?" He lowered his voice. "I only did all that because I was jealous."

Cody stared. "_You_ were jealous." Zack nodded. "Of me?"

"That's what I said," Zack bit out, looking uncomfortable.

"I was jealous of you!" Cody said.

"Well, obviously," Zack grinned brightly. "Who wouldn't be?" Cody rolled his eyes, but couldn't help grinning despite himself. To know that Zack admired him in that way- it made him feel warm, and slightly giddy. He knew he had a stupid smile plastered across his face, but couldn't be bothered to hide it.

A strange new emotion bubbled up inside of him, and he wondered what was so enthralling about Zack's opinion of him that made him want to sing. He swallowed, and looked away from Zackary's blinding grin.

"Whatever, you goof," he said, to distract himself from the dangerous direction his thoughts were headed. "Come help me start the sauce." Zack took the pile of chopped tomatoes and peppers over to the stove, and Cody dumped them in, along with a dizzying array of spices that Zack wasn't even sure he could have named. Cody did all of this with a sort of flowing elegance that looked absolutely effortless on him. He held the paprika lovingly above the pot and spun it around as he shook it, sending cascades of particles into the water.

"Why do you do it like that?" Zack said, curious. Cody looked at him.

"What, this? Sautéing spices is an art form, Zack. Cooking isn't as simple as dumping a bunch of vegetables in a bowl." He dipped a spoon into the mixture and blew on it in several short bursts, and held the spoon out to Zack. "Taste," he commanded.

Zack complied obediently, his eyes widening as the steaming liquid made contact with his tongue. "Mmm!" he exlaimed, nodding. Cody looked smug.

"I have to make the ricotta cheese mix for the lasagna layers, okay? Just focus on stirring that," Cody pointed at the pot of vegetables, "until I'm done; and then we can let it simmer for a while. Sound good?" It did. Satisfied, Cody turned away.

After Zack took the spoon from Cody he found himself staring at the bubbling pot, feeling inadequate. He was sure there was some special way of doing this, too, and he didn't want Cody to think he couldn't be artistic. He paused, thinking, and tried to imitate what Cody had done before with the spices. He waved the spoon around in the air a couple of times, before dunking it into the pot with a splash.

"Ow!" He hissed painfully. Several drops of steaming liquid had jumped out and landed on his arm. He wiped off the offending liquid, cursing under his breath.

Cody replaced the ricotta on the counter and walked over to Zack, shaking his head. "Stop that... _I'll_ show you," he said.

Standing behind Zack, he grabbed Zack's left arm and stretched it out lengthwise. Then, reaching around Zack's middle, he took the spoon from Zack's right hand and placed it in Zack's left carefully. "If you find yourself stirring it too hard with your right hand, try doing it in your left." He breathed all this into the shell of Zack's ear. Zack shivered.

"…Okay." Zack gripped the spoon harder. "Now what?"

Cody smiled, leaning over Zack's shoulder and pressing his body along the length of Zack's back. Zack's eyelids fell shut at the contact, and he sucked in a low, shaky breath as thoughts temporarily abandoned him. Cody's body was so warm. "Now," Cody murmured from behind him, "you gently slide the spoon in, and let it fall to the bottom. Good…" Cody enveloped Zack's wrist with an elegant, soft hand, and demonstrated. "And now… we stir. A couple loops to the left, like this… and then—yes, you've got it," Cody whispered, smiling against his neck as Zack stirred in several large clockwise circles followed by a few small ones the other way.

Zack repeated the motions several times but wasn't able to devote his full attention to it. He was far too preoccupied with ignoring the warmth of Cody's thighs, pressing up against his—_oh my god._

"But be careful," Cody warned, "of stirring too fast." He stilled Zack's wrist, and began pulling the arm that held the spoon leisurely from side to side. "Sometimes _slow_ is best…."

Zack squeezed his eyes shut, heat flooding into his hips. _Fuck._

Cody leaned in to him further, pressing Zack's hips into the edge of the counter as he did so. "Don't stop stirring, Zack. You don't want the sauce to burn…" He pressed a cold kiss to the junction of Zack's neck and shoulder. "…do you?"

"Nu...ho," Zack exhaled, heart pounding in his ears.

"Then keep going," Cody whispered. He placed his hands on either side of Zack's waist, leaning into him. "No matter what I do, don't stop."

Zack swallowed, and, blood pounding, resumed stirring. Large circles, small circles… change direction… _ungh_.

Cody's cold hands skated under his shirt, brushing against the skin of his waist. Zack sucked in a breath, but persevered. _Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer…._

The hands wove around him, circling to Zack's front- the whole of Cody's palms pressing into the sensitive skin. The contact was chilly, and yet electrifying, and Zack's eyelids fluttered. When the hands squeezed the flesh over his hipbones, Zack jerked involuntarily into the countertop.

Feeling this, Cody removed his hands and stepped away. "None of that," he said sharply, "or I stop."

Zack nodded; his body stilled. The hands returned, and this time one of them drifted upward to brush cool fingertips along the space between Zack's ribs.

Zack moaned through a bit lip, trying so damned hard not to move. _Take one down, pass it around…_

Cody pressed his torso flush against Zack's back once again, pushing him into the counter, and pressing a warm kiss to the nape of his neck. Zack tried feebly to stir the steaming soup, but found he had completely forgotten how. He shivered as the edge of Cody's tongue came in contact with his skin, but remembering Cody's warning did not move his hips, however great the temptation.

Cody, on the other hand, held himself to no such restrictions. His hips slowly pushed into Zack's thighs and backside, surging forward and back at a feverishly slow pace, all the while maintaining the kiss on Zackary's neck.

Zack finally ceased stirring altogether, in fact ceased breathing. He dropped the spoon into the pot carelessly, and braced his hands on the edge of the counter.

Cody didn't comment, instead resuming his lecture as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. "Every stir should be a caress to the bottom of the pan." Cody slid one palm down the length of Zack's thigh. "Varying the lengths of strokes reaps the greatest results…." he switched to a finger, curling it against Zack's skin and using it to hook into Zack's belt loop, and tugged him backward sharply. Zack grunted, eyes closed. "...and the top layer of sauce, if it cools too quickly," Cody blew against the damp pink mark on Zack's neck, causing him to shiver, "must be stirred into the rest…" Cody bit lightly at the space between his shoulder and neck, "of the mixture…" Cody stopped his gyrating motions long enough to shudder. For the first time, Zack noticed that he too was breathing heavily.

Enough was enough.

Zack grabbed Cody's wrists from off his waist and spun the two of them around, pressing him back-first against the abused wood and faux-marble.

Cody jerked, unable to help himself. It was his turn to let out a moan, shoulders back and elbows resting on the counter.

"But _whatever_ you do," Zack continued with a devilish smirk, "you don't—" he thrust forward, harshly. Cody gasped. "—_Stop_." Cody's eyes rolled back and he let out a whimper. Zack kissed the birthmarks on his cheeks, one by one, and Cody leaned his head to one side, begging for contact there as well.

"Don't stop," Cody repeated softly, eyes closed. Zack latched onto his brother's neck, planting kisses up to his ear and cradling Cody's head with both palms.

Zack decided to tease him. It was just too easy. He stilled all movements over Cody's skin, and whispered sadly "But Cody, we can't… the _lasagna_…."

Cody meowled. "_Zaaack…_"

Zack laughed against his neck.

Right at that moment, the timer on the oven _beeped_, signaling that the sauce could be taken off the heat.

Zack stepped away laughing, hands up. "Well, that's it, then. You heard the thing."

Cody gaped. "But—"

"Nope, sorry. Nothing I can do about it." Zack walked over to the timer and turned it off, methodically placing the sauce on a potholder and cancelling the heat on the stove.

He walked back and forth, crossing to the sink to wash his hands. Cody, still leaning against the counter with his arms supporting his weight against the ledge, stared at Zack with a betrayed expression, chest heaving.

Zack hid his smile with a serious frown and continued to clean, as if he hadn't noticed the state his brother was in.

"Get your jaw off the floor, Codes. Be useful and put those noodles in a pan." Zack said it all quite nonchalantly, angling his lower body so that it faced the sink in order to cover the state of his pants and the quiver in his lower lip.

From across the room, Zack heard Cody's jaw clack shut. Then he heard a low, bouncing laugh. "Oh, don't worry... I got your noodles _right _here."

Before it could register in Zack's brain, Cody was already tickling his sides mercilessly. Zack let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched squeal, jerking away from Cody's touch and dripping water all down his front in the process. Cody used the opportunity to bump Zack out of his way with one hip, standing in front of the sink and the dish holding the cooked noodles.

"No fair!" Zack growled, but he was grinning darkly as he said it.

Cody smirked in that way he had, not looking at him. "_Sorry_... But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do."


	16. Light My Candle

Eventually, they did finish making dinner, although there was much giggling and snapping of dishtowels along the way.

While they waited for the lasagna to finish baking, Zack set the table and Cody cleared the cooking space. Zack completed his tasks early, and stood around with his hands in his pockets while Cody finished up. Cody then began washing dishes, and Zack sighed, looking around for something else to do. He opened the fridge and pulled out a few more drinks.

An idea occurred to Zack as he set some juice out on the table. He discreetly reopened the utensil drawer while Cody was distracted, withdrawing several birthday candles along with a lighter and sliding them into his pocket.

Cody, looking absolutely gorgeous in his favorite "Kiss the Cook" apron and matching oven mitts, got the dish out of the oven and onto a hot pad, choking slightly on the billowing steam. "Alright, Zack," he said, "it's just about ready." He turned around, and gasped as all the lights in the room went out.

A clicking sound, the smell of smoke, and one by one three small flames flickered into existence. A small plate in the center of the table was revealed in the resulting glow to contain three blue candles, propped upright by a tee-pee of forks. Zack was sitting at the table with his hands in his lap, and smiled at Cody.

Cody chuckled in awe as he approached the table. He bent closer to examine the candles. The forks had been carefully arranged so that their interlocking tines held the structure in place, and kept the candles from falling. "Wow, Zack, they're beautiful," he said, impressed despite himself. "How clever."

Zack looked pretty smug about it, too, and glowed under Cody's praise; but there was something even softer in his gaze that made Cody's hands begin to tremble. He crossed his arms to hide their shaking, and said, "What's the occasion?" in as steady a voice as he could muster, although he thought he already knew.

Zack shrugged sheepishly. "I felt like it."

Cody quelled a smile. "Okay." He took off his mitts and served them both a steaming slice of their hard-earned meal. After some consideration, he gave Zack some extra burnt cheese bits. Cody knew he liked those parts the best. Zack quirked a lip at the small gesture.

"So... this is kind of cozy," Cody said finally, when they both had taken their first bites and silence rose up around them. The air inside the room was absolutely still, disturbed only by the odd chewing sound or scrape of a fork.

Under the diffuse glow of candlelight, Zack's eyes seemed darker than usual. He was preoccupied mainly with his meal, but once in a while those black irises rose to meet Cody's own, only to flick away once they caught Cody staring back. Cody's face felt oddly warm.

"Yeah," Zack said weakly, after swallowing a particularly stringy gulp. "This is… nice." He slurped some juice. "Very tasty."

"Yeah…" Cody twirled some cheese around his fork, shrugging modestly. "It's a well-designed recipe." He paused. "Yours might have turned out… okay, too. I mean, if you'd thought to ask the kitchen for ingredients."

Zack snorted. "I think I prefer your version, quite honestly."

Silence grew around them once again as they chewed. Cody coughed awkwardly at one point, causing one of the candles to go out.

Zack giggled, breaking the silence, and Cody laughed as well, some of his nervousness evaporating. "I got this," Zack said, pulling the lighter from his pocket. Cody reached out to help, holding the candle still, while Zack produced a flame that quickly enveloped the little wick.

Cody glanced across the table, at Zack's expression of careful concentration. The outline of his cheek was so smooth, his skin burning faintly orange in the dim light that surrounded them.

"Ah!" Cody jerked his finger away. A drip of wax had landed on it, and Cody sucked the digit into his mouth to staunch the pain.

Zack's eyes flicked upward at the motion, zooming in on Cody's lips, his body growing perfectly still.

Cody noticed the abrupt change in behavior, and paused. Experimentally, he slid his finger further in, the subtlest of movements. Zack's eyes dilated, and his lips parted.

Interesting. _Very_ interesting.

Cody released the finger with a small _pop_.

Zack's eyes rose guiltily to meet Cody's own, and his face flushed as he realized Cody was staring, too. He cleared his throat and looked away, reaching for his fork to resume eating.

A thought occurred to Cody, and he contained his grin in favor of taking a dainty sip from his glass of water. Under the table, Cody slid his shoe closer to the leg of Zack's chair, and while Zack remained fixated on his meal, Cody purposefully bumped his toe lightly against Zack's ankle.

"Sorry," Zack said quickly. He pulled his leg away and stabbed his fork onto his plate with more force than strictly necessary.

Inwardly, Cody cheered. What fun.

He waited for a few more moments, to be sure Zack was preoccupied again, before slipping one socked foot out of its shoe and carefully, so as not to let any muscle movements from the waist up betray his movements, lifted his foot and skimmed a faint line down Zack's calf with the very edge of his toes, all the way down to Zack's ankle- so gently that there was barely any contact between them. Zack froze immediately under the caress, his fork missing its mark completely and stabbing an empty part of his plate. Then his face cleared, and he glanced in suspicion at his brother's face. But everything about Cody's expression and body language looked the very picture of innocence. Zack raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing, Cody?"

"Doing what?" Cody looked up, his eyes wide.

Zack eyed him up and down, but after a few tense moments returned to his meal.

Cody waited several long minutes before launching his next attack. Slowly, silently, he slid his foot toward Zackary's leg once more.

He jumped in surprise as Zack's legs closed suddenly around his ankle, trapping the limb between them in a vice-like grip. Zack smirked. "Gotcha."

The legs yanked Cody's caught foot closer, and Cody slid with a frightened yelp almost all the way off his chair. He attempted to restore his pride without further injury, tugging his ankle away and glaring at Zack the whole way up. Zackary's grin never wavered.

Cody's ears burned for the better part of a minute, but eventually he had the good sense to bring up the coming school year, to relieve some of the tension. Predictably, Zack laughed mockingly at Cody's eagerness about the change of subject, but it was all in good fun; and soon after, the conversation began to flow more normally.

Bit by bit, the tension drained from the room, so that by the time the chatter had lulled to a natural halt and the room grown quiet once again, Zack had single-handedly devoured most of the lasagna, and the candle-stubs were drowning in their own wax. Two of them had tipped over long ago, so that the light of a single, flickering flame was all that remained for the brothers to joke and smile by. It was enough.

Cody got up from the table when he had finished, grabbing his and his brother's dishes and crossing to the sink. Zack got up as well, stretching as he did so and grabbing his stomach. "That was some _mean_ sauce," he said, somewhat slyly. "We must have done something right." Cody's back was turned, so Zack couldn't see his embarrassed, answering grin.

"Oh? Glad you... um, liked it," Cody said.

Zack approached slowly from one side. "I meant to ask before—how is your skin feeling?"

"What?" Actually, goosebumps had broken out all over his arms a long time ago. But somehow Cody didn't think Zack was talking about that.

"Your sunburn. Does it still hurt?"

"Oh, that." Cody shrugged. "Not so much anymore."

"Did you put anything on it?"

"Not yet." Zack nodded. Somewhere outside, a car alarm blared. They broke off, listening to it for a couple of moments. It sounded so faint from here. Something or somebody must have stopped it, however, because soon after there was nothing at all to signify the world twenty-three floors away.

Zack whistled softly to himself, just to fill the silence.

"So what did you want to do now?" Cody asked, turning around to face him. "Mom shouldn't be home for a few more hours, at least..."

"…Yeah?"

"And… well," Cody flushed. He returned to the counter, the one source of protection still offered by the dark room. Bravery abandoned him with every exhale. "I was wondering if... we, you know... if you wanted, I mean... to…?"

"Wanted to what?" Zack prompted patiently.

This was hard. "_You_ know." Cody hesitated.

"I'm afraid I don't," Zack said, shrugging. "You're gonna have to tell me."

Cody huffed, kicking the counter behind him swiftly with one heel. "You're being obtuse on purpose."

"No, I'm not." Zack's expression grew severe. "Look, Cody. If you can't even say it, then how am I supposed to believe you'll be comfortable enough to _do_ it?" Cody looked at Zack's toes. "I don't want a repeat of last night." He joined his brother at the counter, inches from his side. "If you're gonna run out on me all scared again…"

"I won't!" Cody squeaked, defensively. "I won't. Okay?" He squeezed his eyes shut.

Zack sighed. "Yeah, that's really convincing."

Cody opened them again, frowning. "I'm not a coward. I know what I want."

"Then tell me."

"… I want you to…" He swallowed. "To…"

"…_Yes_?" Zack said, sounding frustrated. "Just freaking _tell_ me already."

"I want you to go downonme," Cody said in a rush, breathing hard.

Zack's eyes grew wide.

They stared at each other, and Cody's stomach dropped. He stumbled over his words. "Never mind, it was a stupid idea, I shouldn't have—"

"I'll do it," Zack interrupted, voice rough.

All the air left Cody's lungs. Zack stepped toward him in the gloom. "What?" Cody whispered, though he had heard perfectly.

Zack's hands settled on Cody's shoulders by way of answer. Eyes locked with his, Zack slid slowly to his knees, fingers raking down Cody's chest as he went. Cody shivered when the hands came to grasp his legs by the knees—knees that felt dangerously close to giving out.

"What, _here_?" Cody asked sharply, words ending in a squeak. "Now?"

He felt a sudden breeze waft through his zipper, and he gripped the countertop for support. "_Ah!_"

He heard a chuckle emanate from his midriff, felt fingers at his buckle. Cody always wore a belt.

A fiddling of metal clasps, a tug, and the faux leather was being removed loop by loop from his pants. Cody panted. Each brush of denim against skin was a blow to his resolve, pounding at his defenses. A strained gurgle escaped from Cody's lips as hot air puffed against his stomach, caressing his skin. "You don't have to, you know," Cody managed to gasp between breaths. "I really don't mind."

"I _want_ to." Zack's eyes met his meaningfully, and Cody swallowed at the intensity of his gaze.

Then, wet heat enveloped him, and his walls crumbled completely.

He collapsed against the countertop as clever hands removed the bunched fabric from around his ankles. Cody lifted each foot to assist in the motions, grunting. The warm mouth slid farther down his length and Cody groaned.

His hips jerked forward.

Zack hummed around his mouthful, the sound buzzing like fire through Cody's bloodstream.

Rational thought abandoned him completely as the suction on his skin increased to a point where it was just this side of painful, and then released exquisitely. After a moment, Zack's mouth slid off of him completely. The cold air against his cock made Cody squirm.

"I've tasted stranger things before," Zack commented. "In comparison, your dick's practically delicious."

Cody laughed incredulously, heart pounding. "No need to be so _crude_…"

Zack resumed his ministrations, and Cody lost his train of thought, trying not to hyperventilate from how good it felt. He was positive he was drowning- drowning in oxygen. Zack licked along Cody's length, then nipped lightly at the skin.

"Ouch!" Cody yelped, slamming backward into the counter. He grimaced through his pain, his hand suddenly in Zack's hair. "Mind the _teeth, _please..."

"Sorry," Zack said. He kissed the place that he'd scraped in apology, and Cody's cock leapt under the touch.

"Ah," Cody breathed, eyes closing. "Better…"

"Mm," Zack agreed, sucking. He bobbed along Cody's length, the muscles of his lips clenching the base with unbelievable pressure, only to let up somewhat as he pulled back. His tongue curled sideways around the head.

"F…uck." Cody was _so_ close, he could feel it. His hips lifted of their own accord.

Zack backed away, snorting. "Did you just… _swear_?" He asked incredulously.

"Don't you dare stop," Cody hissed, blood rushing. He grabbed Zack's hair and pulled him forward.

"Eager little…Mmm!" His words were cut short. Cody sighed as the heat returned, and leaned into it. Once Zack had caught his breath, he resumed licking and sucking at the base of Cody's cock, kissing back around to suck in as much of it as his mouth could fit. _So good. _So_ good_.

Cody leaned his head back suddenly with a loud moan, Adam's Apple straining against the smooth expanse of his neck. He was struggling for air. "…Yes," he breathed. He looked back down, combing his fingers through Zack's hair before gripping it tightly with both hands. Before he could stop himself, he slammed into Zack's mouth one, two more times, and came with a yell, his toes curling.

Zack choked, but to Cody's surprise, didn't let go immediately. He gurgled a little, but swallowed most of the load, throat working as he gulped. And that felt even _better_ than the rest of it, Cody realized with a gasp. _Unbelievable_. "..._Wow_."

Zack finally released him, glaring up at him and breathing heavily. "You could _warn_ a guy," he said testily, wiping at the come that dribbled at the corners of his lips. "_J__eez_."

Cody couldn't summon the energy to apologize. His legs wobbled. "Going down," he warned.

Zack stared. "What?"

Cody slid down the counter, boneless, landing hard on his tailbone with his knees bent. "Ow…"

Zack laughed at him, now at eye level with Cody. "Nice stamina."

"Shut up." Cody closed his eyes, leaning his head against the stone counter. "...Mama_ mia_," he mumbled.

Zack scooted around to sit next to him, grinning smugly. "That good, huh?"

Cody reached out and slapped at Zack's shoulder tiredly. "Hey, stop! That's my game arm..."

"We're doing that someplace _soft_ next time," Cody groaned, ignoring him, rubbing at his newly formed bruise.

"You're _welcome_," Zack grouched, half-kidding. Cody looked at him sideways.

"Right- my bad." He attempted a straight face. "Thanks for the amazingly hot _blowjob_, darling brother."

Zack scrunched up his face. "That's pretty dirty."

Cody laughed his agreement. He blamed his loosened tongue on the bone-melting after-effects of orgasm. "Mm."

Zack mouthed kisses lazily along his neck, and Cody melted. "I love you," he sighed, unthinkingly.

The lips upon his neck froze, and Cody's eyes snapped open.

There was a long, painful silence. Cody's ears began to ring.

"I—I didn't mean—"

But a finger at his mouth stopped him.

He couldn't look at Zack, couldn't look at him. Heart thudding in his chest. _No, no, no..._

A warm hand on his jaw turned his head gently, so that Cody was forced to face him. Dark eyes- nothing but dark eyes. Cody opened his mouth to speak, but never got the chance.

Zack swooped upon his lips without warning, causing Cody's head to crash backward against the counter. When Cody whimpered at the bruising contact, half in pain and half in relief, the pressure lessened, and the kiss grew achingly tender. A hand stroked Cody's cheek, tangled and became lost in Cody's hair.

Cody grew weak, and fell forward, supported by a warm expanse of shirt-protected skin. His stomach flip-flopped within its cage, and his throat hurt, and his heart pounded, and everything was Zackary.

Sudden stillness, the air pulled forceably from Cody's chest, exiting his lungs through his mouth as if pursuing his brother's lips even as they retreated and kissed Cody's cheek.

Blackness, and then- Cody opened his eyes. The darkness seemed brighter than before.

Zack, from his perch where he still sat kneeling on the floor, gazed on at Cody in wordless wonderment. After a moment, he stood, holding out his hand, which Cody took wordlessly, and then...

Then, Zack left his side without a word, left Cody braced against the counter to gaze off in Zack's direction; left him standing, still wanting him even as he was exhausted, while Zack approached the table, leaned across to the tiny nib of candle still burning bravely on.

He watched as Zack paused before blowing it out, his smile even brighter than the flames.

The last thing Cody saw was smoke.


	17. Cody Finds A Book

**A/N: This is an important segway into the next chapter. I hope it isn't too confusing. :)**

**Disclaimer: The book mentioned in this chapter is a real book, written by Charles Silverstein and Felice Picano. You can find it on amazon (I highly recommend it!), along with many others on the subject. No money is being made off of this story, and the excerpts used here were all free excerpts that are available over the internet.**

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* * *

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Cody took a deep breath and sat up, turning to look at his brother, who was sleeping soundly next to him.

He slowly lay back against the colder side of the pillow, breathing hard. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd been dreaming about—only that it had somehow involved Zack.

He blinked wearily, and rolled onto one side, facing his brother. Zack murmured something in his sleep, and Cody stilled, listening—but it was only nonsense, garbled bits of speech. He sighed his relief, and snuggled closer.

They had fallen into bed around eleven, kissing feverishly, hands simply unable to move fast enough to satisfy their need. Cody had not been able to remember being so elated in his life. With every touch, every caress, Cody's chest had grown swollen with some unnamed emotion, filling again and again until it spilled over—and Zack had been so caring. So wonderful.

Their passions had only grown more heated, showing no signs of stopping until one point, about five minutes in, when Zack had let out a loud moan, flipped Cody onto his back, and pressed a hard length into his hip.

He had smiled down at Cody with so much love in his eyes. Had stroked Cody's cheek tenderly with one hand. And then he'd asked him... Had asked Cody if maybe, he wanted to...

Cody couldn't even think the words.

He rolled the other way under the warmth of his covers, his back to his brother.

Cody had said no.

He'd said _no_. He'd been underneath his brother, moaning in delirious distraction—but with a single word, it had all come screeching to a horrible halt.

What was even worse was that Zack had been so damned_ reasonable_ about everything. Content to simply hold Cody, he'd fallen asleep beside him with a smile on his face.

Cody, on the other hand, hadn't been able to sleep; not until the wee hours of the morning. And when sleep did finally arrive, it was to wild thoughts of _if_, and _why_, and: _why not_?

The hard truth of it was, Cody didn't _know_ why. No amount of rationalizing with himself could explain it. Cody remembered his euphoria clearly: he'd been so aroused, so incredibly turned on that he would have been willing to do anything Zack asked.

Except... for that.

Cody rubbed his eyes, frustrated. He needed to sleep. He would absolutely hate himself in the morning if he didn't.

Only, for the first time in a long while, he found it difficult to summon his usual excitement about going to the library. Maybe it was because he felt so woefully ignorant, so new to sex in every way. Too prudish to deserve knowledge.

Cody sat up, thinking hard. _Knowledge_. That was it, the key to the whole mess... Cody hadn't wanted to go all the way with Zack because he simply hadn't _known_ enough.

At sixteen years of age, Cody still understood painfully little about sex; at least, about _that_ kind of sex. The _gay_ kind. And... at least subconsciously, Cody must have understood that allowing himself to _go there_ with Zack would be one giant leap into the unknown.

Of course, it wasn't so much that Cody didn't _want_ to be intimate with Zack. Because part of him definitely did want to. And it wasn't necessarily that he was afraid Zack would hurt him. Cody trusted Zack with his life.

But rationalizing wasn't any use. No amount of self-convincing was going to appease the gnawing in his gut. He was going to need the cold, hard facts about sex if he was going to get through this emotional block on his own.

He thought about confiding in Zack about his fears; but the summoned image of his brother's uncomfortable, guilty face floating before him changed his mind rather hastily. Zack might not have made any complaints last night, but Cody wasn't stupid. Zack had _really_ wanted to take things further between them. Cody had felt the evidence against his thigh, had seen the longing in his brother's eyes.

Cody supposed, if he was desperate enough, he could always ask someone else for advice. Someone he trusted; someone who was more experienced than him, who knew more about sex than he did. Preferably, gay sex.

His mind flipped through all the adults he knew, coming to rest for some inexplicable reason on Mr. Moesby. He blanched at the thoughts that image conjured. Cody may have always had his suspicions about Moesby, but… No. _No way._

So, talking to adults was definitely out. Cody gazed at his brother's slumbering figure, and reached out a lazy hand to trace small circles upon Zack's shoulder with a fingertip.

His subject of exploration twitched in his sleep, and smiled.

Cody withdrew the finger and stared at the boy- no... _m__an_- dreaming peacefully before him. He watched the rise and fall of Zack's chest, counting his breaths- hoping for some kind of divine inspiration to strike him. _Wonder if there's some kind of 'Gay Sex Bible', _Cody thought, mostly as a joke. He snorted to himself at the very idea, but paused to consider it again as the idea took a slightly different shape in his mind.

Perhaps not a Bible, then- but... what if there was a manual of some kind? A reference book, even.

After all, books had never failed Cody before. And it made sense that someone, at _some_ point over the course of Man's history_, _had written about the machinations of gay sex.

Yes- a book was probably his best bet.

But how did someone like him go about finding a book like _that_? His brow furrowed. He somehow doubted he'd have much luck at any of the local bookstore. His thoughts wandered a second time to the library, his trusted sanctuary; but there was probably even less of a chance he'd find anything helpful there.

Then again... it couldn't hurt to look. There wasn't much else Cody could think to do. Wasn't it worth a try?

Cody resolved to go early the next morning and check. Only this time, he'd be sure to leave a note.

* * *

Cody's hand roamed among the shelves, fingers flicking over various titles.

He had never dwelled for very long in _this_ particular section of the library before—its name alone, '_Adult Fiction'_, never failed to make him blush. But Cody couldn't think of a better place to begin a search for sexual advice.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of books advertised seemed to be geared exclusively toward heterosexual relations- and the few novels he could find that were about gay men looked completely ridiculous. Werewolves? Cody scoffed, looking at one of them in distaste._ Who _reads_ this stuff?_

Eventually, Cody left the aisle, disappointed. He didn't feel brave enough to ask the Librarian for help; partly out of shame due to the subject matter, but mostly because he was embarrassed that, for once, he wasn't able to find what he needed by himself.

Cody had thought he knew this place like the back of his hand. To suddenly feel so lost and out of place in his own sanctuary was incredibly disheartening.

He was also wary of using the library's computer database—after all, the staff kept careful record of the all books that visitors looked for, to get a feel for peoples' preferences and also to ward off potential thieves. Besides, Cody didn't want to risk someone reading something... incriminating over his shoulder.

It was completely frustrating.

Because for all his years spent thirsting for facts and trivia, there had always been a huge blind spot in Cody's knowledge. When it came to learning about sex, Cody's mental eye had always just... slipped on by. Whether this was from embarrassment, or just an over-developed sense of modesty, he didn't know.

He regretted that tendency now.

Giving up, Cody marched reluctantly over to the non-fiction section. He _hated_ to sully his memory of this place in such a way. The books hidden away here were his children. He depended on them like he used to depend on Blanky.

But Cody also knew there was no helping it. He needed the cold, hard, facts, and he wasn't likely to find them anywhere else.

With that thought, he took a deep breath and scanned the lower shelves. He knew the gay interest section had to be around here somewhere- he'd memorized the Dewey Decimal system years ago, after all, and the numbers fit- though he had never read any of its titles before.

He walked further down the aisle, and stopped. He'd found it. The perfect book.

"The Joy of Gay Sex", read the guide's cheerful blue spine. Shining like a demonic beacon. Too perfect to be true.

Cody looked around nervously, but no one else was in the library at this hour. Just him and Mrs. Beadsmen, head librarian—but then, she was clear across the building.

Even knowing she couldn't possibly see him, however, did nothing to alleviate his anxiety. He kneeled tentatively before the row of books.

With a quivering hand, Cody grasped the volume by the binding and pulled it out, holding it against his lap.

The cover had a black and white photo of two men embracing. They looked so enthralled in the throes of passion, so alive, that Cody nearly dropped the book.

He glanced down the aisle in both directions again, and sat down, leaning back against the shelves behind him and cradling the book. He situated it more comfortably on his lap, causing it to fall open to a random page. Cody's gaze snapped unbidden to the colorful picture of a sweaty man lying on a bed, his legs spread wide.

Cody's eyes grew so large he thought he'd pass out. He stared at the offensive image, growing red, and turned the page quickly. He swallowed.

Perhaps he shouldn't do this here.

He flipped to the Table Of Contents, running a finger down the chapter titles. He wanted to avoid any more unexpected surprises, if he could help it.

_Let's see... 'Barebacking'_… What did _bears_ those have to do with anything?… _Body Fluids and Disease_…

_Bondage and _Discipline?

Cody closed the book with a snap, face warm.

No... he definitely couldn't do this here.

But how was he supposed to smuggle it out of here without Mrs. Beadsman seeing? Stealing it was out of the question, but he thought he would die of mortification if she saw what he'd been reading. He'd never be able to look her in the face again!

Cody crept out cautiously from behind the bookcase, peering across the room with the book stashed safely behind his back.

As luck would have it, at that very moment Mrs. Beadsman began turning around and left her station. Cody watched on, his brow furrowed. Where was she going?

_Oh_, Cody thought, staring as she veered around a bookcase and headed for the restrooms.

Now was his chance. Without thinking too deeply about what he was doing, Cody sprinted across the room and hopped around the front desk, coming to a halt before the main computer. He glanced at the scanning instrument lying on the table, the one that librarians used to sign out books. Cody had seen Mrs. Beadsman use it a thousand times—he knew what to do.

He opened his book to the barcode, glancing about to see if Mrs. Beadsman had returned—she had not—and slid the scanning tool across the thick black lines. The book's information flashed upon the computer screen. He set the book aside and typed furiously at the keyboard. He found his name in the database and selected it, typing in his memorized library code.

He pressed enter, holding his breath.

_Bingo_.

Cody stuffed the book into his bag and left the library at a run.

* * *

He arrived home in no time, waving hello to his brother as he stepped through the front door, before noticing that Zack was out like a light on the couch. And snoring rather loudly. He tended to do that when he slept on his back.

Happy for the excuse to be alone, Cody shut himself in their room, locking the door for good measure in case Zack waked up early.

Heart pounding, he fell upon his own bed, which felt cold and unused. But it would be even weirder doing this in _Zack's_ bed, where he would have to sleep later that night.

Lying on his stomach, he flipped back to the table of contents. He decided to start with the first chapter and go from there, and turned the page accordingly. His pulse began to race with forbidden excitement.

* * *

Zack awoke with a snort. Sat up and looked around groggily, and winced. His spine was killing him.

He blinked, confused as he realized where he was. Why was he on the couch?

_Oh yeah_. Must have fallen asleep.

He yawned, and stretched. "Cody?" he called out sleepily. But there was no answer. He shrugged, and padded over to the fridge, his stomach growling, storm-like. He grabbed a soda and popped it open with a flick of his thumb and a loud _hiss_, putting it to his lips and throwing his head back. He downed a third of it in a single gulp, his throat burning and feeling like it would explode from sheer carbonation. His face twisted in agony, and then… BURP!

Much better.

"Cody?" He called out again, taking another sip. "Are you here, yet?" Still no answer. But Zack wasn't too worried.

Cody had left him a note earlier that morning telling him he'd be at the library—specifically promising _not_ to fall asleep in the sun this time. Zack smiled fondly, shaking his head.

He stepped across the cold tiles to their bedroom, and knocked on the door just in case, figuring he might continue his little nap from before in an actual bed. Hearing nothing, he pulled at the knob, but was surprised to find it locked. "Cody? You in there?" he said again.

Huh. Maybe Cody had fallen asleep as well, but had forgotten to unlock the door.

No matter. Zack reached around inside his pajama pockets, pulling out a Q-tip which had been removed of all fluff and chewed to a point at both ends.

Zack had learned long ago that the locks _inside_ the Tipton suites were easy enough to pick, unlike the larger, more complicated locks to each of the suites that required a card key. All it took was some finagling, and a bit of practice.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes while he worked, putting his soda on the floor for the moment so he could focus on his task. He stuck the Q-tip's stem inside the keyhole, fiddling around until he heard a _click_. He smiled, grabbed his soda and stepped inside.

He closed the door swiftly, looking around. Sure enough, there was Cody, fast asleep in his own bed—he'd been reading. Big surprise.

Cody was stretched out on his belly, head resting cheek-wise on the open pages of his book. Zack smirked at the sight, and walked over to his brother's side so he could stroke the damp, golden hair away from his face. He pulled the book gently from under Cody's cheek, figuring that Cody would sleep more easily this way.

He closed the book and placed it on the bed, turning away so he could leave Cody alone to sleep in peace—and did a double take, his eyes widening as he took in the book's title.

"The Joy of…?" he read quietly, unable to finish. He looked at Cody in shock.

Never, not in a _million_ years, would he have expected to find Cody reading something like this; _especially_ after the way Cody had reacted to his advances last night. Zack flushed at the memory; he knew he shouldn't have pushed Cody, but he'd been so caught up in the heat of the moment that he'd said the first thing that had come to his mind—screwing everything up, as usual.

It didn't make any sense. Zack eyed the half-naked men embracing on the book's cover, his vision wavering before his eyes. What was he supposed to take, from all this?

Zack came to a quick decision. Careful not to wake his brother, he snatched the book up and crossed over to his own bed. He sat down heavily, staring at the book's incriminating cover.

_Here goes nothing_, Zack thought, and did something he never thought he'd do voluntarily—he opened a large volume to the beginning, and began to read.

* * *

When Cody opened his eyes, he immediately knew something was wrong. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was.

His cheek was resting against soft covers at the foot of his bed—that in itself was pretty odd, but not unexplainable.

But then the significance of his position revealed itself, and Cody blanched. Where was the book? He pushed himself upright and leaned over the bed, pulling up the bedruffle.

"Looking for this?"

Cody froze. Turning slowly, his hair hanging upside down, he met Zack's knowing gaze. Zack was dangling a book between his fingers. Yes, it was _that_ book. No mistaking it.

Cody's heart leapt, and he jumped to his feet at once. "Give it back," he said, panic trickling through him.

Zack ignored him, staring at its cover. "This book is amazing, you know," he said, with real wonder in his tone.

Anger and humiliation pulsed through Cody in equal measure, and he growled. "Give it back!" he demanded again, voice low in his throat. "You had no right to take it. It's mine."

Zack raised both brows. "Actually, according to this," he pointed at the yellow tape on the book's spine, with a pointed smile, "it belongs to the library."

Cody growled threateningly and prowled over to him. Zack's eyes widened as Cody approached. "Whoa, watch the fists! I'm not your enemy, here."

Cody stopped directly in front of him, reaching for the book in vain. Zack held it away, looking solemn as Cody reached for it again. "No, Cody. We should talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk _about_," Cody said, swiping at Zack's shoulder. Zack doubled over and tucked the book under him.

"Try and be rational," Zack said calmly. Cody saw red.

"_Rational?_ You invaded my privacy!" Cody yelled, the large sound catching in his throat. He slapped Zack's shoulder in frustration. "I can't believe you!"

"Calm down!" Zack said, looking hurt. "Why are you freaking out about this?"

Cody screamed silently through closed lips and turned around, stomping angrily back to his bed. He got under the covers perfunctorily and pulled them over his head, turning so that his back was to Zack. He then proceeded to yell into his pillow, at full volume this time.

Zack got up from his own bed, walking over to his brother's. Cody flinched as Zack's hand landed lightly on his back. His visceral reaction stung Zack deeply. "Cody?" he said meekly, "I'm sorry, man... I didn't think you'd get mad..."

"Go away," Cody said by way of answer, pulling his pink face from the pillow long enough to speak. "I do _not_ want to talk to you."

Zack stepped back, looking at the book in his hand. "Because of this?"

"Yes, because of that!" Cody snapped.

Zack stared at Cody with sympathy. "You're embarrassed."

"No…" Cody moaned into the linens.

"Yes, you are," Zack said with surprising matter-of-factness. He perched upon the mattress by Cody's feet. "Sorry, Codes, I should have known. It's pretty strong stuff for me to handle, too." Cody kicked him under the blankets, and Zack responded by sitting on Cody's legs over the sheets. Cody yelped.

"Get off!"

"Not until you calm down and _talk_ to me," Zack said, voice firm. More softly, he said, "There's no need to be so embarrassed..." He looked at the book in his hands, stroking its cover. "Sure, it's kind of a lot to take in, but... I read it too." Zack waited, feeling warm. Understanding what Cody must be thinking.

He didn't have to wait long.

Cody shifted beside him with a sigh, and Zack released his legs, albeit warily. Freed, Cody sat up, not looking at him. "…You did?"

"Yes, I did," Zack affirmed. "Well... not all of it. I skimmed the heavier bits." He paused, and amended, wiggling his eyebrows. "Most of them."

Cody let out a strangled groan that sounded partway between a laugh and a bark of pain, and lay back down while tugging the covers back over his head. Zack decided to count his reaction as progress. "Are you ready to talk now?"

"…No."

Zack rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said, "I'll talk to _you_."

An idea occurred to him. He smiled wickedly in Cody's direction, although he knew Cody couldn't see. "You know, Codes, I read something in here earlier—I really think you should hear it."

Book in hand, Zack knee-walked up the bed and stretched out length-wise beside his brother, on top of the sheets. Wild strands of Cody's hair were poking out from under the covers, and Zack fought to resist the strong urge to pull on them, just to see Cody's reaction. Humming to himself, Zack opened to the chapter that talked about intercourse, and after clearing his throat began to read aloud.

"'Culturally influenced ears have given many people phobias about their _assholes_...'" he began, being as obnoxious as he could. Cody groaned painfully into his pillow, and Zack smirked, continuing. "'This bias against the anus is unreasonable. True, it is used for elimination, but so is the penis - yet that objection has not made the latter organ any less attractive.'"

Zack paused, looking over at his brother. Cody had stilled completely, his whole body tense, but Zack could tell he was listening. Zack returned to the book. "'The anus,'" he continued, "' is not only an avenue for elimination, but is also a sexual organ. It is highly sensitive, as it is lined with particularly responsive nerve endings.'"

"_Stop_…" Cody moaned his embarrassment from under the covers. "Please… I can't _take_ it…"

"I won't. I think you need to hear this- so be a good student and listen up. Ehem. 'Moreover, the anus is close to the prostate gland, and its stimulation is highly pleasurable.'"

"...You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Came the predictable groan, but it sounded more deflated than before. Zack could be patient. He knew that despite Cody's histrionics, the battle was already half over. Embarrassment was no match for his insatiable curiosity. The nerd in Cody would inevitably come out on top.

That's just the way his brother was.

Zack returned to his task eagerly, gaining considerable enjoyment from Cody's squirming discomfort. But when reading the next few sentences aloud, he made sure his tone appropriately serious. "Listen, Codes: 'People who are just beginning to experiment with anal sex sometimes fear that sticking a large cock up the anus will tear the skin.'" He paused for dramatic effect. "'…But proper lubrication and relaxation_ will_ prevent pain or damage.'" Zack waited to hear his brother's reaction eagerly. Zack might have been dumb, but he wasn't a fool. He knew that Cody was nervous about it hurting.

But if Zack was expecting maturity at a time like this, he was to be sorely disappointed.

A whine, louder than the others, emanated from his sour lump of a brother with renewed vigor. "Why are you torturing me? Just leave me _alone_."

Zack looked down at his brother testily. As punishment, he flicked him in the head. "Ow!" Zack waited for him to complain again, and when Cody wriggled underneath the covers in preparation for escape, for good measure he tugged on the blonde hairs poking out between the blankets. "_Ow_! I'm already listening!"

"Stop whining or I'll hit you over the head with this book," Zack warned, raising the object in question. "I mean it." Cody stilled, cowed.

Zack glanced downward, finding his place. Yes, the most important bit. He nudged Cody's shoulder to make sure he was listening. Cody responded by rotating under the blankets, and then going completely still. "'One occasionally finds gay men who disparage achieving sexual pleasure through their anuses,'" Zack began warily, watching for Cody's reaction. "'This might be a result of low self-esteem caused by the archaic notion that only women...'" Zack swallowed, neck heating for the first time since the conversation began. Cody flinched at the 'w' word, but Zack bravely finished his sentence. "'...get fucked.'"

Zack skimmed quickly over the rest of the paragraph. No, he thought, blushing, he'd said what he needed to say. "Cody," he prodded. "Look at me." He waited. "I swear I'm done."

After a moment, Cody pulled the covers from his face and stared at Zack warily. "What." He seemed more tired than angry at this point, although a tinge of pink still lingered on his cheeks.

"It's none of my business why you don't want to be… _intimate_," Zack said carefully, "...with me. Hey, you're not ready. I'm fine with that. We'll go as slow as you need." Cody met Zack's gaze evenly. That was a good sign. Zack's skin tingled. "I have more than my share of doubts, too. _Trust_ me."

Cody looked away again, pulling the covers back up to his nose. "What's your point."

Zack pulled the covers away from Cody's face pointedly. "I wanted to make sure you're not just scared that being... screwed by a boy somehow makes you a _girl_, or something."

"I know it doesn't," Cody said softly, still not looking at him. Zack raised an eyebrow.

"Are you _sure_ you know?" He said. "I'm only bringing it up because we've spoken about it before." Cody glanced up. "The other day you were really worried that I thought of you that way."

Cody sighed, turned to sit cross-legged. "Okay, I did think that... a little bit. Before. But it's not _just_ that."

Zack reached for Cody's hand, pulling it into his lap with a firm grip. "You can tell me anything," he said, seriously. Cody looked down at the contact.

"I... thanks, but there's nothing to tell." He grimaced. "At least, nothing I can say right now." He stared at Zack pleadingly. "Can't that be enough for you?"

"Of course it can," said Zack. He squeezed Cody's hand, using it to reel him in for a sideways hug. The book's sharp corners got in the way of a proper embrace, however, so Zack put it aside in favor of wrapping his arms around Cody's shoulders more completely. Cody exhaled, burrowing his nose into Zack's shoulder gratefully. Zack's fears were soothed somewhat by the innocent contact, and he allowed himself to hope they could get past this together. Somehow.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Cody was his own age. There were definitely times when Zack felt so much _younger_ than him—painfully naïve compared to Cody's maturity; dumb and bumbling next to his brother's quick-witted intelligence.

But there were also times when Zack felt much older. Times like now.

Cody sat back, turning his face away so Zack couldn't see the wetness around his eyes, but Zack saw anyway. "Feeling any better?"

"Not the way I was hoping to. I'm still not ready to... you know." He sighed. "I'm sorry I can't tell you why."

Zack nodded, and withdrew his hand, suddenly feeling self-conscious at how sappy the conversation had become. It was so _unlike_ himself, to feel comfortable with his own emotions. It scared Zack that Cody could do this to him. That he was somehow changing him.

As much as he wanted to help Cody, he was also worried that he was growing too attached to their... whatever it was that they had. The hands around his neck felt too warm, too good. Zack knew it was probably wrong to feel this way, and wished that a part of him didn't still care.

"Well... thanks for being honest, I guess." He grinned, then, and tried to lighten the mood. "You know, I'm pretty impressed you pulled it off," he joked, picking up the book. At Cody's puzzled expression, he clarified, "I mean I can't believe you actually took this out of the _library_."

Cody chuckled self-depreciatingly. "God, me neither." He smiled weakly. "I didn't think I had it in me."

Zack raised an eyebrow; glad to see Cody's cheeks returning to a somewhat more normal color, if somewhat frightened by the way his smile affected him. It tugged at his gut, made Zack want to smile too.

Instead, he punched his brother's shoulder in a jocular sort of way. "I must be rubbing off on you, then."

Cody rubbed his shoulder, wincing. "...Indeed."


	18. Do I Hear Wedding Bells?

It had been six days since the Book incident.

The air inside suite 2330 had grown thicker since then. Zack felt the difference everywhere: that tenseness in the shoulders that refused to go away, that warmth beneath his skin that fluttered in answer to Cody's wide eyed glances.

He sometimes thought that Cody felt it too—would wonder at the way Cody's eyes seemed to follow the rim of Zack's shirt as it was pulled up over his head and tossed carelessly into the hamper; at the way Cody wetted his lips nervously after every one of Zack's knowing looks, and made himself busy with straightening the bed sheets.

It was _almost_ endearing. Zack would have dismissed the sudden… meekness that had possessed Cody as 'just a phase', fueled by lingering nervousness over Zack's discovery of the book. Except for the fact that it had lasted all week. And showed no signs of abating any time soon.

He wondered what had happened to that bold, smiling imp who just over a week ago had so eagerly seduced him in the kitchen. He also wondered what on earth he had done to make Cody so afraid of his touch.

He'd thought things were going so well, that they'd had an understanding- but now it seemed they were back at square one. It was starting to get… a little irritating, actually.

At night, Cody turned away from Zack's advances, however subtly. He would crawl into Zack's bed like usual, snuggling right into Zackary's side without a fuss; but as soon as Zack's caresses would grow too un-brotherly Cody would turn his head aside and claim fatigue.

Zack always accommodated these fits of shyness with grace, embracing his younger brother gently in one arm, while carefully maintaining a safe distance between the lower half of Cody's body and his own, painful erection that no force of will or thoughts of Mom in a bikini could diminish.

Every night, Zack forcefully reminded himself that it _had_ to be worth it—after all, the last thing he wanted to do was pressure Cody into something he wasn't ready for. And one day soon, maybe Cody would be ready to take the next step.

The problem was, Cody was making it extremely difficult for Zack to keep his cool in the intervening time. Though Zack suspected a fair amount of lust-induced imagination was involved on his part, sometimes it almost seemed as if Cody was playing some kind of… game with him.

At breakfast, for instance, Cody had picked up the maddening habit of licking his spoon clean after every bite, lids half-closed in some private ecstasy that only he could feel. It was exquisitely uncomfortable for Zack to watch, and under normal circumstances he would have called Cody out on his obscene table manners.

But Cody never once looked at Zack as he did it, nor gave any sign that he knew how his actions were affecting Zack. And as soon as he was finished, Cody would glance up at Zack's strained grimace with plain confusion, wipe his lips with the back of one hand, and ask politely if Zack was feeling all right. Invariably, Zack would have to excuse himself from the table in search of a steaming mug of coffee, hoping that the caffeine might calm his jumbled nerves.

Unfortunately for Zack, no earthly drink seemed capable of that.

That morning, after a particularly grueling breakfast session in which Zack had had to physically close his eyes against the sight of Cody's tongue as it lapped lazily at his fork, Zack had sprung up with a clatter of plates and foolishly asked if Cody wanted a drink as well.

"You know I hate coffee," Cody had said easily, sipping his cocoa demonstratively. Then, seemingly as proof that some divine being hated him, Zack had been forced to watch as a bead of chocolaty liquid escaped Cody's mouth and trickled down his chin. Cody had lifted the corner of his pajama top to dab at the stain, unwittingly revealing as he did so a strip of tantalizing belly skin.

Zack had swallowed back his strangled yelp and shut himself in their room for the rest of the morning.

Jacking off into his pillow and coming with a frustrated cry, Zack knew, as he lay gasping with his eyes squeezed shut, that something had to give.

Which was why, five hours later, Zack found himself standing barefoot in the kitchen with a phone gripped in one hand and a phonebook propped up in the other, his eyes skimming down the page to come to a halt over _Brownstein, Wilma; Boston, MA._

"Hello? Is Barbara there?" He spoke nervously into the receiver, once the ringing had stopped.

"Cody?" came a velvety, kind brown voice.

"No, Zack," Zack said, licking his lips. His palms began to sweat, and he wiped them on his pants. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all.

He had some definite qualms about asking his brother's _girlfriend_ for relationship advice, and he knew it probably violated several brotherly codes—but he didn't know where else to turn.

"Oh. It's_ you_." Zack heard a loud snort on the other line. "Look, I don't care _what_ Cody told you, I am not, under _any_ conditions, going out with you."

Zack pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it, offended.

"Huh?" He said when his powers of speech had returned, holding the speaker up to his ear once more. "Of course not, you're going out with Cody." He paused, mystified. "Why would you even say that?" _And why would I ever want to date _you?

Surprised laughter. "You mean he didn't tell you? Poor Cody, probably just intimidated…" She sighed in private amazement, chuckling. "That's really funny. See, when I _spoke_ to you the other day on the phone, I thought you understood what I meant by 'we've decided to take things easy'."

Zack frowned. "Understood what? Did something bad happen?"

"No, nothing like that. Cody broke up with me."

The world spun around him, and he nearly dropped the phone in his alarm. He struggled to regain his train of thought, to recall the original reason he had called Barbara in the first place, but his previous chain of thought had been completely eclipsed by this new development.

"He did… what?" His voice came out sounding harsher than he'd meant it to.

Barbara winced. "Don't get angry, okay?"

Zack ignored her. "When… when did this happen?" The blood pounded in Zack's ears. His vision grew cloudier, and amidst the haze he grappled aimlessly for his composure. One thing that Barbara had said stood out in his mind, particularly. Gave him pause. "Hold up… Did you say _Cody_ broke up with _you_?"

"Actually, it was more of a mutual decision. We both figured it was better this way." She tsked. "After our heart-to-heart at the library it became pretty obvious to both of us that the truth needed to come out. It's good to have everything out in the open like that, you know?"

Zack's jaw dropped, and he stared once more at the phone in alarm.

By 'everything', Barbara couldn't possibly mean…

No, he reassured himself, feeling silly. Cody wouldn't have told her that. He just… wouldn't have.

Then again, Cody was a terrible liar... And maybe Barbara had simply guessed? Zack paled at the thought. Oh God… Were they _that_ obvious?

After a few moments of terse silence in which Zack attempted to scrape his jaw off the floor and think of a plan, of some way he could recover his pride from all this mess, Barbara's tone grew depreciating. "You know, the last time we spoke Cody seemed pretty worried about what you'd think of him being 'out' and all… and from the way you're acting right now I can't say I'm surprised."

Zack refused to breathe. There was no need to panic… perhaps he was just overreacting…. It was possible he'd just misunderstood….

"Zack? You didn't hang up on me did you?" Barbara grunted. "Rude… Can't say I'm surprised…."

He swallowed, coming out of his reverie. "No, I'm here." His saliva felt thick, his tongue large and unwieldy. "Just... what exactly did Cody tell you?" Zack asked, careful to give nothing away.

"He told me the truth. That he's gay." Barbara said, sounding defensive. "I figured Cody must have told you I was single. But, like I said. You, me? Not gonna happen." She stopped, growing serious. "Don't be hard on him, though, if it was supposed to stay some kind of secret. He was obligated to tell me, seeing as I'm his girlfriend." She paused, amending. "Excuse me_, was_." Her tone intensified. "Is that going to be a problem for you?"

Zack could do nothing but sigh in relief—all the tension drained from his shoulders. She didn't know. _She doesn't know!_

Coming back down to earth, he shook his head in response to Barbara's question, realizing part of the way through she couldn't see him. "No, no problem, I just—I didn't know he told you, that's all."

_Breathe in. Out._ He switched the phone from one ear to the other. "It's just, you know… not many people know yet that he's…" Zack looked around the apartment, feeling strained and worn out. "_You_ _know_." He winced after he said it, realizing the way it probably sounded.

"You mean 'gay.'" She sighed wearily. "Drop the homophobic act already." Under her breath, she added, "You're already enough of a hypocrite as it is."

Silence, as he took in her words. A muscle in Zack's forehead twitched. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" he managed to grit out.

A snort. "You and Cody are so alike, you don't even know," she mumbled. "At least _he _was brave enough to come out of the closet."

Zack opened his mouth to respond, a scathing rejoinder already half-formed on the tip of his tongue, but Barbara was prepared. "Don't ask me, Zack, I'm not _your_ girlfriend. It's not my job to tell you if you don't already know." Static crackled through the phone. "Anyway, I don't know why you're calling me up for advice when you know very well the best thing would be to just go straight to the source—so why don't you grow a backbone and actually talk to your brother? He can probably clear a few things up, seeing as he's been through this already."

Zack couldn't believe what he was hearing—Barbara's rough, ghung-ho attitude had taken him completely by surprise. It was so _unlike_ her to be this forward with him. In all the time he'd known her, she'd barely spoken thirty words to him. Had he struck a nerve, somehow, and set her off without knowing it?

He wondered if all this was just some elaborate, girly coping strategy for handling break-ups. Whatever it was, Zack couldn't let Barbara's implied insult go unchallenged. "I don't know if Cody broke your heart, or what. But I am _not_ gay."

Barbara scoffed. "Are you questioning my gay-dar?" She asked, incredulously. "Don't take it so personally. It's just a matter of statistical likelihood…"

She continued on in that vein, issuing forth an endless stream of nerdiness that had Zack's eyes glazing over. He tried his best to make sense of it but it was all a bunch of confusing, scientific mumbo-jumbo. He did, however, catch a few words here and there. Something about probability, genetics, brothers… and gay twins? What?

"Whoa, stop right there," Zack interrupted, shaking his head angrily. "I don't know what the heck any of that means, but it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is, _I don't lean that way_. So back off."

There was stunned silence on the other line. Zack smirked in cold satisfaction, but the smile waned as he thought of his brother, fast asleep in the other room. Flushed, wondering if Cody had heard their conversation. Shame spread down his neck, and pinched him in the shoulders. "I mean…" Zack amended, voice wavering, "it's fine if _Cody_… leans that way." He swallowed past the burn of guilt in his throat. "I support him all the way on that, because I… love him." At that, Zack's tone grew hard. "But you're _wrong_ about me."

And with that, Zackary crashed the receiver down onto its hook, and stared at the offending instrument with immense dislike.

Just who did that… _woman_ think she was, thinking she could dictate Zack's identity however she liked? Zack knew who he was, Goddamnit!

His new, confusing feelings for his brother aside, Zack had _never_ been attracted to men. Never. It had always been women, his entire life. Girls were just… _girls_. Zack loved girls! He wanted them. He needed them.

This thing he had with Cody- it meant little, really, in the grand scheme of things. It was just experimentation- a little love between brothers, that was all. A way to let out pent-up sexual frustration. Zack knew deep down that he was straight as a rod. His long history of woman-loving was hard evidence of that.

Of course... that didn't extend to _all_ women. He thought momentarily of Linda, and shuddered. But that little... _mishap_ didn't prove anything. After all, there was absolutely nothing wrong with having standards. Linda had been _psychotic_. A fluke. She didn't count.

The fact remained that Zack had always chased after girls. He dreamed about them. Fantasized about them. And one day, he still hoped to get married to one; maybe even have twins of his own.

And then, of course, there was Maddie, Queen of all his fantasies. True, she had never once returned his feelings in all the time he'd known her, because of that stupid little three-year age difference. But Zack wasn't about to give up on her. She was perfection, and true love was worth the wait. Wasn't that what everyone was always saying—that Love can conquer all? Zack had faith that it would. One day, Zack knew, Maddie would finally see sense. And then…!

Zack sat down on the couch, deflated, staring at his hands.

A voice—sympathetic and sad, at once both like and very unlike his own—spoke up inside his head, soothing as a minty balm on the fires of his temper.

_And __then__ what? _It asked him quietly.

Zack just didn't know.

Because with Cody, everything had changed. His world had ceased to make sense, and only now was the full impact of the curveball his life had become beginning to hit him.

Trouble was, since this whole thing began Zack hadn't _once _stopped to consider if it was the right thing to do, or even the smart thing—choosing instead to let the inertia of his passions sweep him along in a blissful, mindless trajectory, not caring where it led to or how he'd get there. He'd let his instincts rule him, and his instincts had told him to go with his gut desires and be with Cody.

But now… he was here. On the couch, in his living room. With nowhere else to turn but inward.

He thought of Maddie again—imagined himself as a young boy of eleven or twelve, smiling up at her in idolizing wonder and wishing more than anything for Maddie to think well of him, as something more than some cute little kid. He summoned her gentle curves to mind… He had always loved those curves. Mmm, yes… and Maddie had always been so smart. He'd be lying to himself if he claimed he hadn't admired that about her.

Zack pretended to like dumb girls, but secretly, he'd always preferred the smart ones. Especially Maddie. He also found he was rather partial to blondes, and _Damn_, did blonde look good on her. Surprisingly, height worked well on her too—whereas most boys of twelve would probably have been intimidated by a girl so much taller than them, Zack had kind of liked it. Of course, he was now probably several inches taller than her. It would definitely look better this way on their wedding cake.

If having thoughts like these wasn't 'straight', Zack didn't know _what_ was.

Zack lay back against the couch with a slow smile, lost in his imaginings. Unbidden, a hand strayed down the cloth of his chest to rest upon the bulge at the crotch of his jeans. He didn't think he'd ever been so happy to feel an erection in his life.

Perhaps, this thing with Cody—as much fun as it had been—was all just some huge misjudgment? He ignored the sharp pang in his chest that accompanied the thought. Maybe he was just confusing his protective love for his brother with his general teenage lust for… well, everything that moved.

Actually, the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. After all, everybody experimented in high school. Boys, girls—they was all just humans. When it came down to it, all that mattered was raw desire. And right now, Zack desired... Maddie.

He could easily picture her tall, lean frame, wrapped prettily in a lacy white wedding dress. She smiled at him from under her lacy veil, waving her fingers—and he watched as she pulled down one of the straps of her dress, revealing a sliver of pale skin.

Zack opened his eyes and sat up, looking around—but nobody inside the suite was awake. Carey was at work, and would be for home until six. Cody had locked himself in their bedroom hours ago; and he showed no sign of coming out any time soon.

Satisfied he was alone, Zack ignored the stab of guilt that accompanied that observation in favor of a more pleasurable pastime.

He lay down again and closed his eyes, his hand returning to his crotch. With simple, unhurried movements, he undid the clasp of his belt, and, not bothering to unbutton his jeans, slipped his hot hand inside the waistband of his boxers.

He sighed loudly at the contact, thoughts returning to that beautiful, draping white dress. As he watched, a chair appeared in his mind's eye—a long, slim leg slipped out from under the dress and perched upon the chair, skin looking so smooth and soft. Zack stroked himself as he 'watched,' smiling internally as the figure in white stood upon the chair with her back to him—reached behind herself and hitched up her skirt. She wasn't wearing anything underneath.

Zack's breath became more labored at the alluring sight. Unbidden, his ghostly mental hand reached out to caress the curve of one of the exposed cheeks, as smooth as the rest of her. He swallowed, and entered his dream image more completely. He saw his corporeal self walk up to Maddie, who was still standing on the chair, and kiss his way down each long, pale leg from behind. The figure on the chair sighed, and Zack's hands joined his mouth, massaging the exposed muscles with all ten fingers, up and down up again. A low moan emanated from the figure above Zack, and the Zack still lying on the couch smirked.

"That's right, honey," he said, eyes closed. "Feels good, doesn't it…."

Ghost-Zack let the edge of the dress fall back down, placing both of his hands instead at Maddie's waist.

As tended to occur in dreams, her body defied gravity as Zack pulled and sent her lean frame floating lightly to the ground. Zack used the change in height to his advantage, pressing himself lengthwise against her back. He wrapped his arms around her waist and swept his eager hands along the folds of her skirt. His chin nestled into the crook of her neck lovingly.

"You know, I've been wanting to do this since I met you," he said softly while kissing a freckle near her collarbone, and lifting the corner of the veil's fabric for better access. Maddie hummed in response. So she didn't want to talk—Zack could handle that. "You're so soft," he whimpered, lips buried in the cloth at her neck. "You're _mine_."

His hands roamed eagerly up Maddie's smooth belly under her dress, creeping ever-closer to those mounds of soft, perfect flesh. Now his fingers were just inches away…

He gasped as Maddie's hands flew out to grab his, preventing them from reaching their destination. "Don't," she warned.

Zack paused, considering. That was kind of weird… if this was _his_ fantasy, shouldn't he be able to do whatever he liked?

But after a moment's consideration, he decided that actually, her display of shy reticence was better. It made everything more realistic, because the real Maddie would definitely expect more foreplay than this before allowing him to touch her there.

He smirked, though she couldn't see him. "Okay, I won't touch you there," he said. "I'll just do _this_."

He kissed his way down her spine to demonstrate, starting at the nape of her neck and ending at her tailbone. Maddie shivered under his touch, moaning softly.

Zack imagined himself kissing every inch of her—began to get excited, just thinking about it. "Maddie—sweetie… turn around…" Ghost-Zack moaned, kissing a trail around her legs toward the front of her knee.

Ghost-Maddie froze. "What? No! I won't."

Zack frowned, backing away. "Is something wrong?"

Maddie just shook her head violently. Zack stood in concern, and began to walk around her—but as he stepped sideways, Maddie turned away from him, folding her shoulders inward. "Maddie? Maddie, look at me." She shook her head again, and Zack grew more worried. He stepped to the side again, but this time Maddie physically pushed him away, falling to the ground in a pool of fabric.

Zack growled from some distance away, exasperated and frightened for her. "What's wrong, darling? Are you hurt?"

"No…" Came a squeak from Maddie's crouched form. "I'm fine…"

"Then what's the problem?"

A sniff.

Zack's ears perked, and he leaned forward to hear her next words. "…it's not me who has the problem. It's _you_."

Without warning, Maddie jumped up and turned around, facing him. Zack leapt back, staring at her—realizing for the first time something very strange about her figure. From the back, it had looked like her hair was being held up in some sort of bun, but from the front it was obvious that her hair was hanging free. Why was it so short? "Maddie?"

With a foreboding feeling, Zack stepped closer and before she could object, flipped the veil over her head, revealing her face.

Cody stared back at him, a wry, sad smile upon his lips. "Stop _calling_ me that."

Zack sat up on the couch, breathing hard. His right hand felt strangely numb—he removed it from the tight grip of his pants, which were soiled and sticky, and stared at the impression of a zipper that had been made against his skin. How long had he been asleep?

He wiped his bangs, shaking his head. _What _a crazy dream.


	19. Zack Gets Angry

**A/N: I know it's short, but the next chapter is on its way. It should be posted by tonight or tomorrow morning. So stay patient, and enjoy this tidbit!**

**A/N2: I am so evil. ^^**

* * *

Cody reached out a tentative fist and willed himself to remain calm. Then, summoning his courage, he rapped smartly on the bathroom door. "Zack? Are you in there?"

The sound of running water was heard, followed by a _splat_ as Zack spat in the sink.

Cody turned the knob, and when there was no resistance from the other side shoved the door open.

Zack turned to him, eyes wide. "Ever heard of a thing called _privacy_?" he asked, with considerable irritation.

Cody shut the door behind him, leaning against the wooden frame as he stared at his brother. "What's the matter? You're decent."

Zack turned back to the fogged-up mirror, grabbing his comb. "I might not have been," he mumbled, running the teeth of the comb through his wet brown locks. He was dressed in his red and checkered pajamas tonight—Cody liked them the best.

But there was no time to sit around admiring how hot his brother looked in his nightwear. Zack had some _serious_ explaining to do, and Cody wasn't letting him leave until he had his answers.

"So," Cody began quietly, examining his brother's reflection. Zack had grabbed a towel and was beginning to ring his blonde mop dry. "That was Barbara who called before, wasn't it?"

Zack's hand paused mid-swipe, then continued on as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Yeah, I called her." He leaned toward the mirror, holding one eyelid open while he used his pointer finger to remove an eyelash that had fallen in. "So what?"

_Ah_, Cody thought heatedly. So _that_ was how it was going to be.

Cody plucked an imaginary piece of lint off of his own pajamas, schooling his features into the very picture of calm and grace. "Oh, nothing. I was just wondering what you two talked about. That's all." He stared at his brother's eyes in the mirror defiantly, willing them to look in his direction. Willing Zack to stop playing his stupid games.

But Zack didn't take the bait. "We didn't talk about anything. She just wanted to let me know she was single." He shrugged. Cody frowned at his brother's easy flippancy.

"Cut the crap, Zack," he said, in a low, menacing tone. "I _heard_ it all through the door."

Zack turned slowly to face him, towel over one shoulder and comb in hand. "Then why ask?"

Marching forward, Cody jabbed a finger into Zack's chest, glaring. Zack looked down at the finger with surprise. "...the hell?"

"You know perfectly well _why_. Don't pretend you don't."

Zack raised an eyebrow, but otherwise gave no reaction. "I can honestly say I have no idea what you're talking about."

Cody growled. "How dare you."

Zack turned back to the mirror, picking at his teeth. A hand landed on its metal surface, blocking Zack's view of his reflection. "Now what?" Zack asked, somewhat tiredly.

"Why did you tell Barbara you weren't gay?"

Zack paused, not looking at him. Staring at the sink. "Because it's none of her business."

"Don't give me that," Cody hissed. "You meant it, didn't you? What you said." Zack declined to answer. Cody saw red. "Don't lie! I heard you… touching yourself, afterward. All hot and bothered over… _Maddie_," he spat.

Zack stared straight ahead. "You don't know what you're talking about, Cody. So just… shut up. Go away, and _shut. Up_." He turned away.

"She's the one you really want, isn't she?" Cody asked loudly, fists clenching. "_Isn't she_? And I'm just some stand-in, until you can get the real thing."

Zack closed his eyes, and when he opened them, Cody almost backed away at the stranger he saw looking out.

"Yeah; maybe she is the one I want," Zack said quietly, jaw muscles clenching. "What are _you_ going to do about it?"

Cody's stomach dropped into his feet. "Liar," he accused, less sure of himself. Zack said nothing. Cody's throat seized up as he took in the bland expression on his brother's face. "How _could_ you?"

He sank to the floor in front of the door, biting back angry tears as he stared at his knees. Unwilling to leave, but unable to stand. Zack remained facing the mirror, but had stopped brushing his hair in favor of gripping the sink with both hands.

"What am I to you?" Cody asked, voice breaking.

There was a long pause, and then Zack walked closer to him. Cody looked up hopefully, but Zack was staring mindlessly at the door. Not looking at him. "Let me by, please," he said slowly, in even, measured tones.

Cody's gaze hardened. "No."

"I said... Let. Me. _By_." Zack's foot inched out, as if itching to swipe Cody's body out of the way. Cody refused to budge, no matter what—but he curled himself into a ball just in case.

"I won't let you go," Cody said bravely. "Not until you explain what the _hell_ I am to you."

"Does it _matter_?" Zack asked harshly, finally looking at him. Cody flinched at the hatred in his eyes. "Did you honestly think we could be together? Like a normal couple? With marriage and anniversaries and flowers and…" He halted, face contorting as if in physical pain. "_Love_?" He spoke the word like it was foul. "Did you think I actually loved you?"

Cody wanted to look away, but he couldn't. All he could do was breathe, and try not to cry. "Stop it …" he whispered.

"I can't love you, Cody," Zack said, voice twisting. A look of absolute misery flashed across his face, and was gone again. "I—you were naïve to think I could." He turned away severely. "Just… _leave_. Go away."

Cody shook his head to clear the hot tears that were blocking his vision. "Don't," he begged. "_I love you_."

Zack whirled around, pointing at the door. "Leave!" His face was thunderous, and red, and Cody hid his face in his arms with fright. Zack wouldn't hurt him, Cody reminded himself wildly. Zack might be angry, but Zack would never hurt him.

"Go! _Damn_ you," Zack yelled again, voice catching. Cody flinched, but didn't move.

Part of Cody wanted to run away forever and never come back. That would have been the smart thing to do.

But he also knew it wouldn't be the right thing.

Cody watched from the gap between his arms as Zack stomped over to the bathtub and kicked it, swearing. He then moved on to the walls, the radiator- anything that made a loud enough sound. Mindless, aimless violence.

Cody waited as the destruction ran its course—knew that his brother had to tire out eventually.

"Zack," he said from the safety of his lap when the banging had slowed. "Zack, please. Listen to me."

"Didn't I tell you to go," asked Zack hollowly, his back turned to Cody. Cody could hear the swollen frustration in his voice, and knew that he had been crying as well, but didn't want Cody to see.

"I'm not leaving until we sort this out," Cody said firmly, showing his face. Zack began to kick the wall with renewed vigor. "_Stop_," Cody begged, "the neighbors will call security again."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," Zack barked.

Cody glared at him, meeting his eyes. "Do you think I'm blind, Zack? I've known you all my life. I can see right through you." Cody stared intensely at his brother, who had turned away, but knew Zack was listening, even if he pretended not to. "You're scared," Cody continued huskily, willing his voice to stop trembling like a scared puppy. "Just like me."

"I'm not scared of anything," Zack denied, not looking at him.

"Right," Cody bit out. "You're totally gung-ho about being—"

"_Don't_," Zack cut him off, that one word infused with so much anger. "I'm not gay."

"You're fooling yourself," Cody said incredulously. "_You're_ the one who has a boner every night you can't control, just from being close to me."

Zack snorted, with contempt in his voice. "Oh, _now_ he notices."

"I noticed the whole time, you jerk. I just wasn't ready to take things further, because _I_ actually cared about you, and I was afraid we were going too fast. _I_ wanted our first time to be…" Cody swallowed past the lump in his throat. "... Special. You know?" He narrowed his eyes at his brother, who had turned back around to face him. "But now I can see that _sex_ is the only thing you ever cared about."

Zack opened his mouth to defend himself, but Cody stood his ground. "I am so glad I didn't go all the way with you, you know that? You don't care about _me_ at all. I was just a—a—" he swallowed. "A piece of _ass_ to you, wasn't I?"

"No. Shut up," Zack said, painfully. "You don't know what- what you're talking about." His eyes squeezed shut, and opened with renewed anger. "_Stop_ it."

"I know enough," Cody shot back.

"Stop trying to psychoanalyze me!"

The door slammed outside the bathroom. The boys froze.

"Look who I brought, guys!"

Zack stared at Cody with an unreadable expression, his face pale. Cody was about to open his mouth again when a second, less expected, voice shouted out from the living room. "Hello, boys!"

The brother's looked at each other, eyes wide. "Dad?"

* * *

**A/N: Don't kill me! (Hides)**


	20. The Prelude

**A/N: I know I've been away for quite some time. But I'm back for good! I'm going away to Europe for the next two weeks, but while I'm there, you can be sure I'll be writing the next group of chapters. So... sit back and enjoy (I hope)! I thank you all for your patience.**

* * *

Cody sprung away from the door as if stung, turning to face its dark wooden surface with wide eyes. He backed away from it slowly, startled as he collided with Zack's chest.

His skin burned where it pressed into Zack's own, even through the layers of clothing separating them. Zack stepped back without a word, putting several feet between their bodies. Cody ignored the sinking sensation in his gut at the sudden loss of heat, and at the hollow _clapping_ of bare feet against bathroom tiles.

"Guys? Hello?"

Their mother sounded far away. Beyond the confines of the room Cody could hear the sounds of someone—probably their mum—puttering around. The opening of a refrigerator. "Kurt, you hungry?" A pause, and a heavy sigh. "Guys, _please_, I'm not in the mood for hide-and-seek."

"We're in here," Zack called out suddenly behind him. Cody flinched, eyes closing at the barely disguised relief in his tone. He felt a warm breeze as Zack moved past him, flinching a second time when Zack's arm brushed against his side, if only for a moment.

The doorknob rattled, but stayed put. Behind the door, Kurt cursed under his breath, and if Cody was not mistaken, in several languages that were not English.

Zack calmly reached out and unlocked it. Virtually before his hand even left the metal, the bathroom door banged open, startling them all. Including their father.

"The door was locked," he said, looking quite disoriented.

"Hi, Dad," said Cody, trying to sound normal and probably failing. "We know."

Kurt stared at them for several moments more, before surveying the room warily, as if looking for signs of a booby trap. He sighed. "Should I even _ask_ what you two were doing in here?"

Cody looked at his brother out the corner of one eye, but Zack did not return his gaze. So he opted for the simplest answer.

"…Probably not."

"Right." Kurt looked around the room one more time, before flashing them both a wide smirk. "So! Boys! The big 'One Seven' is in two weeks… Excited?" He clapped his hands, clearly quite hyped up about it himself. His eyes sparkled with a familiar, mischievous glee. Cody hadn't realized just how much he'd missed him. Guilt curled in his stomach. Truth be told, he hadn't even thought about their dad for several weeks.

"Totally," Zack agreed, managing a small smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. But even that small gesture made Cody's heart ache with a vengeance. Suddenly, and as much as he loved his dad, Cody wished for nothing more in this world than to be alone with his brother again.

Cody looked at his father, and noticed that Kurt was sending him weirdly concerned looks— _is there something on my face?_ Cody thought with a pang, wiping his cheeks with the back of one hand, and realized as he did so that his mouth and forehead had been screwed up into a grimace. Immediately, Cody schooled his features into some semblance of a grin.

Kurt looked reassured, and turned to Zack.

"I _got_ you two something," he said with barely suppressed energy. "It's in your bedroom."

Despite himself, Cody's interest was piqued, and a part of him was eager to concentrate on anything that was easy. Not painful, and heartbreaking, like thinking about his brother. Beside him, Zack seemed in a similar state of relief.

Kurt turned around and headed toward their room, which the brothers took as their cue to follow. He stopped in front of the bedroom door. He opened the door and peeked inside the dark room, hiding its contents from Cody and Zack with his torso. After a moment he turned back and wiggled his eyebrows, and despite the tension in the room Cody found himself tempted to roll his eyes.

"Where is it?" Zack asked with interest, firmly ignoring Cody's arm where it pressed into his own, so that he could poke his head past Kurt's arm and look around from a better vantage point. "_What_ is it?" But Kurt shoved him back before he could get a good look, shaking his head dramatically.

"_Oh_, no. Not until after dessert. Your mom slaved over that store-bought pie, and I've had nothing but hot-pockets for three days straight."

That time, Cody really did roll his eyes. Kurt slammed the door shut theatrically and headed for the kitchen area, leaving Cody and Zack behind to stand around aimlessly. Neither of them made eye contact. Zack was looking at the closed door, and Cody at his feet.

The tension was palpable. Cody's insides squirmed.

"I'm not done with you, yet," Cody murmured to his toes. His lips barely moving.

For several moments, Zack said nothing at all, and Cody watched as Carey got out plates and forks for dessert, already bickering loudly with her ex. But he knew that Zack had heard him. So he waited.

A barely perceptible nod. Hands in pockets.

"…I know," Zack admitted finally, his voice just as soft. And with that, he padded to the kitchen counter and served himself some blueberry crisp.

Cody closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Let it out again in one big whoosh.

With that a strange, parched sensation began to stir within him, soothing him; spiraling through his overheated blood like a burst of chilly air.

_Hope_, Cody guessed. Still standing by the door, he allowed the tiniest corner of a smile to grace his lips, before following his brother's example.

* * *

"It's really not that exciting," Carey said around a mouthful of whipped cream.

Kurt looked put out. He glared at her. "Really? You're gonna ruin this for them too?"

He looked at the twins meaningfully. "She is such a buzzkill. I don't know how you live with her."

"I'd be nice to her if I were you," Cody said pointedly while serving himself a second slice. "She's the one letting you stay here."

Kurt's eyes widened, and he stared at Carey. "You told them already?"

Carey eyed him right back. "No. But you just did."

Zack looked confused. Cody gasped. "You're staying here? As in staying overnight?"

Kurt stirred his pie around listlessly, looking disappointed, but grinned anyway. "Yeah. Happy Birthday." He licked the rest of the cream off his plate, much to Carey's distaste, before turning bodily to where Zack and Cody sat perched on stools. "It's cool, huh? My bags and guitar are in your room. Oh, and I brought my karaoke. In case you guys wanted to have a jamming session later, or something."

Zack still looked confused. He opened his mouth to speak, but Cody beat him to it. "Wait—you're staying in _our_ room?"

Kurt and Carey raised their eyebrows at the panic in his tone.

"Well, technically, it's Moesby's room," their Mother corrected, lips pursing a little.

Kurt just looked hurt.

"I kinda thought I could crash in Cody's bed, and you two could share the other one." He looked between the two of them, then at Carey. "You did it all the time when you were younger."

Zack's eyes widened as understanding dawned on him. Cody stammered at the sad look on his father's face. "Yeah, but that was when were, like… eleven."

"Sorry… I just thought—well, Carey needs the couch. And I didn't want to make either of you sleep on the floor in your own room…" he trailed off. He looked at Carey for assistance. "Maybe this was a bad idea? I thought they'd be more excited about this."

Carey shrugged, looking a little too pleased. "Well, I think the boys have made it pretty obvious they'd rather not share. There are some cheap hotels nearby that I could help set you up with—"

"No, Dad… you don't have to do that," Zack protested, looking guilty. Cody looked at his brother in surprise.

Kurt sounded hopeful, and turned to Cody. "You two really don't mind?"

Cody made a mental note to smack his brother later for his stupidly. Outwardly, he said "'Course not... Dad."

Kurt shot a triumphant smirk at their mother, who threw up her hands.

"Okay, fine," she said. "Whatever you all want. I don't care."

"Thank you, Carey," Kurt said in a sing-song tone of voice. To the boys, he said, "it's just for one night. I figured, since I won't be in the States for your birthday, it was the least I could do."

Zack scraped the last of his third slice into his mouth. He gulped loudly. "When are we getting our real presents?" he asked, without a trace of shame.

Cody snorted into his plate, and let the buzz of his family's banter surround him, strangely comforted by the weirdness of it all. For a moment, at least, he'd been able to forget the tension from earlier that evening. Even if he still had to deal with Zack's crap later, he felt a bit better knowing that Dad was here. Zack wouldn't try to pull anything as long as he was, and that might give Cody time to smooth things over with Zack. And hopefully he'd be able to figure out what the _hell_ was wrong with him along the way.

It was a terrible idea, having Dad here, Cody knew. He sure as hell knew that Zack knew it, too. He shot a wayward glance at his brother, who was licking his fingers with gusto. Cody had to look away.

He wished he knew what the hell his brother was thinking, trapping them like that. Zack was remarkably good at acting calm in front of their parents—something Cody was immensely envious of.

But one thing was for sure. Whatever Zack was planning, Cody _knew_ he wasn't going to like it.

He peeked over his crook of his arm to watch as Zack stuffed his face with cream straight from the can, not sure if he felt nauseous or aroused. For a second, their eyes met—Zack's a dark, green grey. Cody's slanted and suspicious. And then—then, Zack winked. No smile, no hint of emotion at all to give him away. It left Cody breathless. Confused.

Cody might even have imagined it.


	21. Cody Is Neurotic

**A/N: Ahhh, Curve ball! Watch out, BBB fans, this could get ugly. I'd like to thank you all yet again for your patience, and for you to know the next part is on its way.**

**With that said- Enjoy!**

* * *

Cody pulled back the covers, and aimed.

_I hate Zack, _he thought viciously_. I _hate _him… I'm gonna kill him!_ It was all he could think about, all he would _allow_ himself to think about. All other thoughts swam uselessly through Cody's panicked mind as adrenaline coursed to the rest of his body.

_Pffffft_ went the spray-can. But Cody could tell that Lysol wouldn't be enough this time. He turned around and glared at his brother, who was sitting on Cody's bed and looking green.

"Could you stop sitting around like a sick puppy for one second and _help_ me with this?" Cody spat, gesturing to what had been, for the past several weeks, _their_ bed. "We can't risk him… _smelling_ us!"

Zack looked up at that, and even through his obvious worry managed to roll his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, he's not _Wolverine_. He's not gonna _smell_ us."

Cody put down the can and breathed in, trying to stay calm. "I don't appreciate your flippant attitude, Zack. This is serious!" He glared, and Zack look chagrined. "_And_ it's all your fault!"

"What was I supposed to say?" Zack asked defensively, looking tired. "He would have suspected something was wrong if we didn't act as excited as we usually would, having him over. And… I really _do_ want to see Dad."

Cody closed his eyes for strength, and opened them, unclenching his jaw. At least Zack was being apologetic. It almost made up for before… when he'd…

His heart skipped a beat, his throat feeling tight. No. Thinking about that now wasn't going to change anything.

"So do I, _Zack_. But this? This is insanity." He kept his voice low, not wanting Carey to hear them in the living room. "Do you _want_ him to find out about us? Is this your convoluted little way of getting yourself to accept what you should already have accepted long—?"

Zack cut him off in a harsh whisper. "No. Actually, this isn't about you at all. I just wanted to see Dad. Okay? And if you stopped freaking out about this long enough for us to think up a decent plan, there might not be any reason to worry at all!"

That stung. "I care about Dad, too," Cody murmured, turning away. "I mean, if you've got a plan, I'm all ears..." He looked at Zack over his shoulder, protecting his eyes from the cloying mist that swirled above the bed. "But as of _now_, the only way I can think that Dad won't find out is if we rescind our offer…"

Zack shook his head, guessing what the word 'rescind' probably meant from context. "We can't do that _now_, what's done is done. We're just gonna have to ensure that we don't… screw this up. Act completely normal, like nothing's changed."

Cody turned at that, looking at him. Feeling bone-tired. "How?"

Zack bit his lip, and shrugged, feeling hopeless. "No idea."

* * *

Two timid knocks jarred them from their reverie.

"Come on in, Dad," Cody spoke, quietly enough that Carey wouldn't be disturbed.

The door creaked open and Kurt popped his head in, all grins. "I have so many plans for us, tomorrow," he said happily, coming the rest of the way inside and shutting the door behind him. He stopped, looking at them both and how they were sitting across the room from one another.

"So… do you guys care which bed I…?"

"No, of course not!" Cody barked, laughing nervously, at the same time as Zack said

"You can have mine."

Cody turned to stare at his brother, incredulous. He furrowed his brow, and grimaced. _What the hell, you idiot?_

Zack glared right back, with challenge in his eyes. _Not Wolverine, remember?_

Cody sent him a look that was hard to misinterpret. _I am _never_ speaking to you again._

Zack shrugged, and Cody clenched his fists.

Kurt witnessed this exchange with a somewhat baffled expression, clearly understanding none of it. He spoke up carefully as his sons seethed silently at each other. "Are you two... _sure_ you don't mind me sleeping here tonight?"

"_Actually_, Dad—" Cody began, only to be silenced by the force of Zack's glare.

"Of course not. We're _fine_."

More confusingly angry looks were shot in both directions, and Kurt couldn't help but feel responsible for the heated crossfire.

"O_kay_, then..." he spoke slowly to the open air; hoping that whatever was going on between his boys would work itself out soon. Preferably before he crashed from lack of alcohol. He clapped his hands together loudly. He turned to Zack. "Thank you, guys, for offering your—"

"Not a problem," Zack cut in abruptly, not looking at him.

"…Right," Kurt said, more confused than ever. "Thanks..."

He sat down on Zack's bed warily, and Cody stood up, plastering a weak smile across his face for his father's benefit.

"You two can go ahead and get ready for bed. Don't wait up for me, I've just got to wash up," he added, at his father's worried glance. He walked quickly out of the room without shutting the door, and Zack rolled his eyes at his retreat.

Kurt stared at Zack after Cody had left, looking lost.

Zack caught his expression, and sighed. "It's okay, Dad… Cody does this sometimes." He tried to make it look like he _wasn't_ bothered by his brother's display of neuroticism, and instead smiled in a way that he hoped was reassuring. "Don't worry about it, 'kay? It's not something you did. It's definitely just… him." Zack glared again in the direction of the door.

Kurt sat looking at the wall and rubbing his neck. "Look, Zack," he began, feeling like he had to speak what was on his mind, even if he didn't have much experience with this sort of thing. Emotions had never been his strong point. "This isn't… because of the divorce. Is it?"

Zack's eyes widened. "Uh, no... Cody's just like that, I swear…."

"That's not what I was referring to." Kurt looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, and Zack didn't blame him. "I meant, you know, _all_ _this_…." He gestured to the room at large, and lowered his voice, looking at the open doorway. "Is my being here stressing you guys out too much? Should I leave?"

Zack sat for a moment, staring at his Dad and realizing how all of this probably looked to him. "No, it's fine, honest. We're really glad to have you here! Me and Cody, we're just…" He tried to speak past the lump in his throat, not wanting to give anything away, but feeling that he owed him at least half of the truth.

"We're just going through a bit of a rough patch."

Kurt nodded, looking like he understood, although Zack knew he couldn't possibly. As long as he and Cody were together… his heart sank, as he realized the truth of it. Their dad could never find out.

"I had that with my brother, growing up," Kurt said wisely. Zack bit back a snort, highly doubting it. If Kurt noticed, he didn't comment on it. "He was younger, and always wanted everything I wanted. When I went off to join the band after high school… he wanted to come with me. But I wouldn't let him. I told him he had to get his own life." He looked down at his shoes, and back at Zack. "You know that we haven't spoken for years."

"Yeah, Dad," Zack agreed, not sure where his father was going with this. "I know."

The sound of a hairdryer erupting into life from the other room distracted them both momentarily, but the look on his father's face brought Zack swiftly to the present. It was a brooding look, unfamiliar on his father's usually smiling features. The laugh-lines contorted unnaturally, pulling into a frown.

Kurt's eyes became suspiciously bright, as Zack watched in awe, and a part of him suddenly felt that he was witnessing something he shouldn't. Something raw, and private.

He looked away from his father's haunted gaze, uncomfortable.

"Bill went off to college at BU in the summer of '85, got rich and decided to get married to his high school sweetheart at the age of twenty-three. And now he's in Alaska, living the good life as an accountant with his wife of twenty years and two children." He paused, counting. "They've got to be at least ten or eleven by now."

Zack perked up, interested despite himself. Kurt hardly ever talked about his family. "Alaska, huh? That's kind of cool." He paused. "Did you ever think of visiting him? I mean… them?"

Kurt sighed, looking pained. "Sure… tons of times. But Bill… well. Let's just say that _our_ relationship is never gonna heal."

He cleared his throat after several moments of strained silence. "He told me just before he left that he didn't ever want me in his kids' lives."

Zack stared at the emotion in his father's voice. "That's…"

Kurt laughed, a dry barking sound. "I know. Bill's kind of an asshole."

Zack couldn't help but laugh as well, not sure what to think of this softer, more serious side of his dad. He couldn't remember the last time they'd had a heart-to-heart like this.

"It may be too late for me and Bill, Zack, but for you and Cody… I've got to say, you two've always been closer than me and my brother ever were. So I know that whatever happened to, er, make you mad at each other won't be permanent." He rubbed his legs, in a gesture eerily similar to one of Zack's own. He was clearly feeling uncomfortable. "Just—make sure you don't screw this up. Right? You two need each other."

Zack grew discomfited as well. It was uncanny, sometimes, how _well_ other people seemed to pick up on the strength of his and Cody's relationship.

And if they weren't careful, one day somebody might find out just _how_ strong it was.

"Um… thanks, Dad," he said. "For sharing. I'll keep that in mind?"

Cody chose that moment to appear in the doorway, looking very clean. He'd chosen to wear his pajamas, which Zack was grateful for, because Cody's usual bathrobe might have been seen as kind of weird given their sleeping arrangements.

"Am I interrupting something?" Cody asked, looking between the two of them; slightly alarmed at the serious vibes coming from their father. Kurt grinned, however, looking more himself again, and Cody visibly relaxed.

"Nope," Zack said simply, offering Cody a small smile.

But it was a real one.

Cody was taken aback by the intensity of it, and his heart fluttered without his permission. He wondered what on earth could have happened in the short amount of time that he'd been gone. Slowly, after a few moments of awed disbelief, he combed shaking fingers through his bangs and sent Zack a tiny smile of his own.

* * *

**A/N: Mwahaha, I'm sure I scared a couple of you with those opening lines. I do so delight in being evil. :) I guess that's just my sense of humour...? Don't worry, though, I love these guys (and _you_ guys!) way too much to spring something like that on you without warning. ^^**

**Next part is already half done! I'm just tinkering with the ending.**


	22. The Sleepover

**A/N: I thank you all for braving the Tide of Angst that was the last few chapters. I hope you can forgive me. Consider this a gift, to both you and them.**

* * *

Dad was now safely out of hearing range, brushing his teeth in the other room. Cody was humming quietly to himself on his bed, ignoring Zack somewhat successfully. And Carey was soundly asleep.

And still sitting on his own bed at the far edge of the room—still trying valiantly to look like none of this bothered him—was Zack.

He wasn't staring at the door, tapping his bare foot nervously against his inseam. He wasn't watching his brother guiltily out of the corner of one eye. And he sure as _hell_ wasn't stalling for time until Kurt came back, when the lights could safely be turned out so he wouldn't have to look at Cody's stupid pouty faces any more.

"Stop that," Zack barked, after several minutes had passed. "I can't take it."

Cody looked up. "What?"

"The _whistling_, that's 'what'. You're driving me crazy."

"Yeah, well, this _silence_ is driving me crazy," Cody countered, but stopped anyway.

Zack had no reply to that. He went back to staring at the door. Cody scratched his knee absentmindedly, and looked about the room for something else to do.

In his peripheral vision, Zack saw Cody open up a drawer and pull out a metal nail file.

"Don't!" Zack turned, pointing. Cody held up his hands.

Silence returned, only to be interrupted some minutes later when odd, gurgling noises began to issue forth from behind the closed door. Zack and Cody stared as it opened with a squeak.

Kurt peered around the door, his cheeks full of mouthwash. _Swish, swish._

"Yes?" Zack inquired, gritting his teeth.

"Mmm," Kurt explained, gesturing to the bathroom with his elbow. He pointed to his hair. "Mm mm mmm?"

Zack sighed. "Sure, Dad… go ahead." Kurt snapped his towel, eyebrows raised. "No, it's fine, just make sure to test the water first."

Kurt nodded thankfully, grinning around his mouthful, and left.

Zack leaned backward on his bed, grabbing the tennis ball that sat atop his desk. Bored, he bounced it against the nearby wall and caught it safely. He stared at the ball's worn, fuzzy surface, before throwing it again.

Toss, bounce, _clop_. Toss… bounce, _clop_. Toss, _bounce_ -

"_Cut_ it!" Cody barked suddenly, brows slanted in irritation.

"…Okay. Fine." Zack sat up and watched moodily as the ball rolled out of his reach and disappeared under Cody's bed.

Cody drew in a rib bouncing breath, looking wryly at the door. "Look," Cody began, rubbing his neck tiredly. "I know it's awkward, but can't we just—"

"You look like Dad when you do that," Zack interrupted, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

Cody paused, elbow still in the air, unsure exactly what to make of that.

Zack didn't know what had possessed him to say it, flushing. Only that he'd never really… _realized _before now, how… handsome Cody could be, under certain lights. When he wasn't being embarrassingly girly.

Zack realized Cody was still staring, and, embarrassed to be caught looking, glanced up to look at the ceiling instead.

After a while, his hands began to feel like lead weights by his sides, sinking into the bed sheets. They were just… hanging out, down there. He crossed his arms self-consciously and pursed his lips.

"Ha, you look like Mom!" Cody retaliated, several minutes too late.

His triumphant smirk faded, and Cody flushed at his brother's incredulous stare. "Uh… when you do _that_, I mean," he tried, waffling.

Zack snorted at his brother's expense. "Yeah. Great comeback, Cody."

He leaned back against the headrest, still snickering.

After a moment, though, he uncrossed his arms.

Kurt appeared in the doorway again, this time with a twisty turban perched above his head.

"Right," he winced upon entry, eyes squinting from the bright lights. "I know I said I promised we could stay up talking 'till two in the morning… but my head is _killing_ me." He made another pained expression, and rubbed the wrinkles creasing his forehead.

Cody stood at once, looking concerned. "You want some Advil, Dad? Tylenol? Aleve? Acetaminophen of any kind? 'Cause I think I have some Aspirin in my—"

Kurt laughed, holding up a hand, then grimaced at the sound. "I'm good…. I think I'm just gonna hit the hay, and let Nature fix this the old fashioned way."

Zack stood as well, so their father could lie down, and waited agitatedly in the middle of the room.

Kurt took his time situating himself beneath Zack's covers, sighing his relief, before peeling open one eye. Realizing both his boys were looking at him, he raised his well-groomed eyebrows. "You guys good?"

They nodded, Cody nodding a bit more vigorously than strictly necessary; and after one last considering glance Kurt closed his eyes and got comfortable amongst the pillows.

Zack turned then and gestured meaningfully at Cody, pointing to the remaining bed with his head. Cody shook his own, standing his ground.

_You first_, he mouthed. Zack stared. _Go on!_

Zack crossed his arms. He stared down at the immaculately ironed sheets, hesitating, then looked back at Cody. Cody crossed his own arms, waiting, and Zack gave up, resigned. Swinging his weight onto the mattress with a loud _thump_.

Satisfied, Cody stalked about to the other side of the bed and sat down gingerly near the pillows, body facing outward.

"Could one of you turn out those God-awful lights?" Kurt groaned dramatically, the sound muffled by linens.

"Sure thing," Cody said at once, jumping up.

The overheads went out with a click, and through the ensuing darkness Cody peered cautiously toward where he knew his bed should be. He was suddenly grateful that he'd thought to tidy up his side of the room earlier in the day. "Thanks," Kurt called out, sounding sleepy. "See you boys… in the morning."

Cody smiled to himself, but frowned upon reaching the bed and seeing where Zack's legs were resting. "Move over, you lump."

Zack had stretched his body out lengthwise across the mattress, and the result was that his lanky form was taking up _way_ more than his fair share of space.

Zack obeyed, but slowly, adding to Cody's mounting irritation. _Why_ did Zack feel the need to make this any more difficult than it already was? He couldn't help but think that Zack was just trying to prove some kind of point with him. Talk about infantile.

Cody fell somewhat gracefully onto the mattress, managing not to come in contact with Zack's body at any point in time. Quite a feat, considering he could barely see a thing.

He rolled onto his back, trying hard not to think about the warm body next to his, or how loudly Zack's breathing sounded so close to his ear. He shut his eyes, as if that could shut out his other senses as well, and tried his best to enter his normal bed-time state of deep meditation.

Zack groaned softly beside him, turning away. The warm draft of air conjured by the sudden movement, as well as the uncomfortable resemblance between _that_ groan and, well… some of Zack's other groans, set Cody's heart racing immediately.

He hated how little control he had over his body's reactions. It wasn't fair that Zack could affect him this way.

But at the same time that his body stirred into life, his heart couldn't help but curl in on itself.

_Did you honestly think we could be together? _Zack's voice rang out unhelpfully, deepening the ache. That face….

_Did you think I actually loved you?_

Please_, _Cody begged his mind. _Not tonight._

He turned away from the figure next to him, staring at the wall. It grew brighter the longer he looked. His eyes were finally starting to adjust to the darkness when he closed them, against the sudden onslaught of pain.

_We can't be a normal couple, Cody!_ Zack's face twisted before him into a look of disgust.

_If Dad finds out—if _Mom_ finds out? Just think about what would happen! They'd disown you._ Both _of us. We'd never be able to take it back, not ever._

Imaginary Zack looked away, then, and Cody's pulse raced; he saw the truth behind those horrible words, and he hated it.

_They'd be so disappointed_, he thought miserably, heart clenching.

* * *

Not a foot away from him, Zack turned his face deeper into the pillow his head rested on.

But Zack was far from sleep.

_What is wrong with you? Don't you want to get married, have a family one day?_ He asked himself angrily, already knowing the answer, and wishing it changed anything. Forget falling in love at sixteen. Forget falling in love with a _guy_. Falling in love with your own brother would never be acceptable. In any society.

Zack sucked in a breath, backtracking. The significance of his words reached his brain, and his pulse quickened.

Not that _he_…. Zack swallowed, unable to even_—_

_Don't_. Zack rolled onto his back, clenching his fingers in the cold sheets. Careful not to let his arm brush Cody's… anything.

Cody rustled beneath the blankets, as if somehow sensing Zack's thoughts of him, and the movement sent a cloud of warmth in Zack direction. He shivered, and began to lean in, slowly, waif-like, toward the place where Cody was lying peacefully among the pillows.

His arm moved, unbidden, inching closer to the source of that _incredible_ heat. He breathed in the scent of his wheat-scented shampoo, feeling more content than he had since—

His brother took in a deep breath beside him, halting Zack's motions.

Zack's eyes widened as he took in what he'd been doing, and he jerked his hand back, disgusted with himself. He closed his eyes and turned to his left side, trying to put it all out of his mind, once and for all.

Minutes passed, and Zack grew sore. He flipped back over.

Abruptly, Zack was staring into Cody's eyes, face to face with him in the gloom.

His breath caught in his throat. "…Cody?" he whispered, almost certain he was imagining the smooth outline of his brother's jaw—the glint of his eye.

Cody didn't answer right away, fidgeting. He adjusted the comforter around his shoulders, unwittingly brushing his wrist against Zack's cheek as he did so.

Electricity shocked through him, a burning tingle ghosting down his spine. Achingly familiar… and suddenly all Zack could think of was that first day, that first, tentative contact. Their kiss…

And it was too much. He leaned forward and captured Cody's lips, unable to do anything else.

Cody gave a surprised squawk that died almost immediately, transforming into a tiny, soft moan of acceptance. The sound of it did impossible things to Zack's insides, turning him inside out and upside down and God, he thought, as Cody began to kiss him back; he thought he finally understood what all those goddamned songs were talking about.

This feeling… this was worth anything.

Cody moved closer, giving in to the soft, silent, whispery kiss that barely even existed. But that didn't matter: the strength of it still nearly knocked Zack unconscious. Cody melted under his caresses, so pliant and forgiving. And over everything, the smell of him, the smell of _Cody_.

Zack un-tucked a quivering hand from the mess of blankets so that he could clutch tightly at Cody's shoulder, in direct contrast to the delicate movement of mouths—his throat terribly dry. Cody's breath tickled his skin, and when he sucked lightly at his lower lip Zack feared he really would pass out.

And perhaps it was the thrill of possible discovery, or just leftover emotional exhaustion from all the fighting—but Zack couldn't bring himself to care that their father was sleeping not eight feet away. Consequences be damned, as usual. Only this time, it was all for him.

Unsurprisingly, Cody chose exactly that moment to grow a conscience. Of course he did. Zack nearly groaned from the loss of contact, and opened his mouth to protest_;_ but Cody placed a finger over his lips, stopping him. Even that small touch a caress.

Zack obeyed, fascinated by the way that the moon, shining in from the window, now softened Cody's features with light. Zack's eyes had been closed during the kiss, rendered useless by pure sensation_; _but now he was inordinately glad he'd opened them.

Cody freed an arm from the blankets and wrapped it around Zack's midriff—pulling himself closer to Zack's body and tucking his head under his chin.

Zack held him, awed. Guilt still prickled at him around the edges, threatening to overwhelm him. But he pushed all of it away, in favor of accepting what Cody was so selflessly offering him. Something that Zack hadn't felt for days—weeks, even.

A smile broke across his features, the muscles feeling weak and unfamiliar; and a different muscle, pounding away inside his chest, suddenly unclenched, unleashing waves of calm and contentment over his mind. At the same time, light, brighter than that from the window, flared inside him, illuminating his thoughts with blessed clarity.

Zack leaned in toward the shell of Cody's ear, where the moon's flighty touch glowed the brightest.

"I'm sorry," he breathed; not really what he'd meant to say, but true all the same. Cody shivered in answer. "I…" Wishing he had the words. Cody nodded, the briefest of movements against Zack's chest, and Zack closed his eyes, grateful that some things didn't need to be spoken aloud, to be felt.

In place of words, he tugged his brother closer, smiling into his hair.

Later, while Zack was drifting off in the mists of peaceful sleep, he thought he heard a small voice whisper back to him through the darkness.

"I love you, too, Zack."

But then again, he could have merely dreamed it.


	23. Fire and Ice

The first thing Cody knew come morning, once his brain had finally registered the light beaming in through his eyelids, was warmth.

It was a searing heat that molded to every dip in his skin—the small of his back, the stretch of his shoulders—more intimately, he thought hazily, than should be allowed. He couldn't remember what he'd ever done in his life to deserve such peace of mind.

The corners of his lips arched; happily, he sank deep into the warm, lazy feel of it. As he did so, strong arms snaked out to encase him in scalding skin. It was… fine. No, it was more than that. His smile became wide. "It's nice," he breathed.

"...Nice," someone repeated against his neck. "Mhmm."

Cody stilled, eyes opening slowly.

Wakefulness swept through him in a smooth, steady rush, pulling his muscles taut. The certainty of his and Zack's relative positions beneath the bedsheets left him winded.

But more importantly…

"M_hmm_," Zack repeated, wriggling closer with a sigh.

The consequences of Zack's unconscious actions had brought Zack's lower body into close contact with a highly dangerous part of Cody's anatomy. Impossibly, even hotter the rest of him, Zack's hips were pressing into his back, leaving their mark as they did so underneath Cody's very skin. With every rise and fall of Zack's belly, the pressure increased.

_Breathe._

It wasn't Zack's anatomy that bothered him. He was more than familiar with _that_ part of their relationship. But it had never been quite like... this, before. _This_ was uncharted territory.

Cody lay there for quite a while, not really moving; taking in oxygen as needed to relieve the twinges in his chest.

He could tell from the rhythmic movements of the chest behind him that Zack wasn't really awake yet; but he wasn't sleeping either. Rather, he was somewhere in between, drifting in and out of full consciousness. Every now and then a low pitched snore escaped from Zack's lips, breathed out against the nape of Cody's neck and making his hairs stand on end.

Cody had already peeked at the empty bed across the room, his heart beating fast; but the coast had been clear. He told himself that at least that was one less thing he had to worry about. He was fairly confident that their Dad hadn't seen them like this… at least, not yet. If he had, surely they would have been woken before now.

So that meant they were safe. For now.

Unfortunately, it also meant Cody had no reasonable excuse; no answers for why the first fringes of panic were curling in his throat. Or why such close contact with his brother's burning… skin_…_ caused him such discomfort, when just ten minutes ago it had been the best thing the world had to offer.

Cody envied Zack his sluggish ease—for a few minutes, he even tried in vain to regain his own feelings from earlier, to just let go of all this unexpected stress. He wanted to forget his worries, forget that heat….

But all too soon, despite his best efforts to forget where he was, Cody began to feel keenly the sheen of sweat covering his back and neck; it prickled in all the spots where Zack's skin touched his. Not for the first time, Cody caught himself wondering at what point during the night they'd taken off both their shirts—and more importantly, where they were now. But he didn't dare move from his position to check. The last thing he wanted was for Zack to wake fully and see him like this.

_Damn it, I thought we were_ past_ this! _Cody fumed silently. It just wasn't fair. No matter how he tried to keep distracted, he couldn't keep the crawling sensations from skittering about his spine, or from curling up in the damp hairs at the base of his neck….

Zack breathed out yet another puff of humid air against his shoulder, and Cody shuddered.

He hated himself for it, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to fling his body away from that prison of heat, and of arms, and dive into the nearest shower. Indecency be damned.

But he couldn't do it. He knew it would destroy his resolve, what he'd fought so hard to regain ever since finding that stupid book; the one that had opened his eyes to so many terrifying, wondrous possibilities… and to Zack. If he ran away now, after everything, he'd lose his nerve to go forward forever.

And so, despite his increasing levels of discomfort—and bordering on pain—he stayed.

The feeling swept over him in waves; the hot air trapped balloon-like against his skin, holding him prisoner atop the pillow.

And yet there was something else there, as well, fighting alongside the rest of it. Swirling steady and slow, it pulled at Cody, keeping him where he was.

Oddly unhurried, it was every bit as cool and soothing as the contact was smoldering. It battled with every prick and lick, answered every shiver with goosebumps. More than confidence, more than belief, it chased after hell with the impossible knowledge that things would be okay… if he only stayed.

Zack stirred, fingers curling at Cody's hip. "…Codes?" He removed his face from the nape of Cody's neck, and a rush of sweet, cold air flowed in to replace it. Cody nearly sobbed from the relief, small as it was. It was just enough for him to clear his thoughts so he could respond. He opened his eyes gladly.

"Morning," Cody muttered, glad Zack couldn't see his face.

"Is Dad…?" Zack was tense at his side; afraid any sudden movements might wake their father up.

"Don't worry," Cody answered his unspoken question, keeping his voice calm. "It looks like he left a while ago. Before I woke up, anyway." Somehow, telling Zack made it real.

He winced sharply at the same time as Zack nodded. The heat was catching up with him again. Luckily, before he had to think up an explanation for the outburst, his brother saved him the effort.

"I know—sore, right?" Zack laughed softly, but Cody could hear the uncertainty that ran beneath. Another laugh. "That sounds so wrong…."

Fully awake now, Zack took to the task of peeling himself limb-by-limb from Cody's chest and back, grimacing as his left arm was removed from beneath Cody's shoulders. "Okay… that one's numb."

Zack continued to make small talk, but Cody wasn't paying full attention, too distracted by the amazingly cold air flowing around him again; banishing the fire at last. He whimpered, unthinkingly.

Zack paused at the unexpected sound, and Cody felt eyes searing into his cheek. "You okay, man? You don't look so good…."

Cody turned onto his side to face him, shivering as the motion freed even more dead air from his blistered nerves. He sent Zack a genuine smile. "I'm better, now." Zack looked puzzled for a moment, before he attuned to the presence of his little problem.

He flushed at once, sitting up against the headboard. With speeds that surprised Cody, he slid their dampened covers up to his belly button. "Sorry, Codes," he moaned, sounding genuinely upset. "You know I can't help it."

"It's really okay," Cody protested, thinking it was mostly true. He could almost feel the steam, as invisible as it had been awful, leaving him as he spoke.

Still, traces of it must still have ghosted his features, because when Cody looked up again Zack was still frowning.

"You don't look okay." He bent his legs, making a tent beneath the covers to better hide the evidence, and nodded at Cody. "That better?

"Sure…." Cody was immensely glad that _he_, at least, had kept his pajama bottoms. The sight of Zack's damp chest was doing completely unhelpful things to the state of his lap.

Slowly, in what he hoped was a discrete manner, he tented his own legs, looking calmly straight ahead. He tried to will away his reaction as well as the blood in his cheeks, but judging by the silence at his side he doubted he was succeeding.

A snort. Cody snuck a glance at Zack's smug grin of understanding, and groaned.

"Shut up."

"Yeah, _sure_," Zack echoed, smirking, and stretched, reaching for the sky. "It's just progress, _Cody-kins_. Nothing to be afraid of."

Cody highly doubted that. He crossed his arms over his knees self-consciously. "Don't call me that."

Zack rotated in place and slipped out of the covers, landing neatly on the pads of both feet. He stood straight, facing him, arms akimbo. "What's so bad about it? You are my _kin_, after all." He gestured to the space between his legs crudely, still smirking.

Cody squeezed his eyes at the sight, not particularly wanting to be reminded of that fact so soon after waking up with a man's hard-on digging into his back. But a reluctant smile twisted his lips anyway, despite his sudden and immense desire to throw something. Preferably barbed. "Hilarious."

Zack caught the expression and pouted. "Oh, sorry. Am I being a tease?"

"_Zack_," he complained, grimacing. _Don't be such an idiot_, he meant to add. But no words escaped.

Zack was standing very still, staring at the doorway with an open mouth; white hands clutched in the sheets now covering the lower half of his body.

Cody's heart iced over, his own hands clenching automatically. He turned, a harsh gasp clawing its way out of his chest.

Kurt stood silently, frozen against the woodwork. A steaming plate of breakfast was balanced precariously in each hand, forgotten.

His eyes were flicking between the two of them, taking in their various states of undress with shock and a flash of something else. But then both were gone.

Kurt cleared his throat, looking very old. He spoke to the floor.

"I made pancakes, and… and eggs, if you're hungry. They'll be on the table, once you two finish getting dressed."

And with that he left, closing the door softly behind him.

* * *

The twins dressed in a hurry, lungs heaving as the earth came crashing down around their ears. It was over. It was all over.

They stared at each other before opening the door, emotions flowing wordlessly between them, far less painful than the air, which tasted like poison.

Still, Cody couldn't say _nothing_. And so he said anything.

"It might be okay." The lie tugged its way out of his mouth sluggishly, his lips responding like they'd been dosed with Novocain. His voice was husky, sounding weak to his ears.

Zack simply stared at him, as if trying desperately to memorize his face while he still had the chance.

Cody didn't like that look. He didn't like it at all.

His breaths were starting to come in short gasps. Zack's silence was uprooting the last of his nerve. He just couldn't take it.

"And even if it _isn't_, Zack," he trembled, frantic now, "I promise, I'm _with_ you; I-I won't leave, I'll stay, okay? And we'll sit this thing out—Mom and Dad will get over it eventually, and when they do—"

But Zack stopped him with a surge of lips that hurt more than all the morning's fire combined.

* * *

After peeking into the kitchen and seeing Dad busy with the coffee-maker, the twins stepped quietly to their chairs and sat down, backs stiff. Carey was nowhere to be seen, presumably at work; and Dad looked like he was going to ignore their presence until it was absolutely necessary to acknowledge it.

Somewhere between trying to cram the hysteria back down his gullet and suppressing the intense desire to escape-preferably out of the nearest window- Zack's subconscious was making unhelpful calculations. Above all the panic, he couldn't the brief spike of glee that coursed through him as he realized that A, this was the first morning he'd woken before 9 am the entire summer; and B, Cody had actually stayed in bed with him until he'd woken up.

He'd never done so before.

"Morning, boys, hope you had enough sleep! We have a long day ahead of us." Kurt turned and smiled, placing the jug of freshly brewed coffee on the table next to the syrup and butter. Neither of them had touched their breakfast, and Kurt cocked his head, frowning. "Not hungry?"

Zack and Cody shared a meaningful look. Neither of them knew what was going on, but they had to play it cool.

Zack grabbed his fork, wishing his hands would stop shaking. "No, Dad... it looks delicious." He scooped a piece of egg pointedly, and shoveled it into his mouth. "Mmm."

Kurt smiled, looking satisfied, and turned to Cody for confirmation. Cody was already chewing a neatly buttered pancake slice, nodding vigorously.

"Awesome," Kurt said, lifting himself with a groan. "I'm gonna check on the toast." The twins watched him carefully, food forgotten.

As soon as his back was turned, they dropped their forks and gaped at each other.

_What the hell...?_ Cody mouthed.

Zack shrugged helplessly, grabbing the coffee server to distract himself. He poured into his mug, but wasn't really watching, and several hot streams came spilling down the sides. Zack sucked in a breath, jerking his hand away in pain. Cody reacted instantly, pushing his brother's arm away so he could mop at the mess himself; but Zack was wound too tightly to manage a 'thanks'.

Kurt returned, then, oblivious to the havoc he had caused, and placed a saucer at the center of the table. He sat between his sons and grabbed some toast, scooping egg onto it. "I've missed this," he sighed, speaking around a large mouthful and smiling brightly as he chewed. "We used to do this all the time. You remember?"

"Haha, yeah..."

"Hmm."

Kurt's smile disappeared, and he bent intently over his breakfast.

A lull spread over the room. No one moved, apart from chewing and the odd slurp. Cody's knuckles were white under the table. He'd given up on eating, and tried to focus instead on _not_ throwing up.

Finally, Kurt wiped his chin with a napkin, clearing his throat. The brothers' heads rose in unison at the sound, and they waited for their father to speak. A line had grown between Kurt's brows, creasing his forehead into an unfamiliarly pained expression. The hairs on Cody's neck stood on end.

"Boys... I think we should talk."

Zack dropped his fork, which went clattering to the floor.

"Whoops, I'll get it," Zack said, laughing awkwardly, and fairly dove after it.

Kurt ignored him, focusing on Cody in particular.

"You know that you two can come to me about anything. I'm not the world's best dad, but I've got ears. And... eyes."

_Here it is_, Cody thought, closing his eyes and fighting the tears in his throat. _Oh no, oh no, oh _no, Cody prayed, begging God to smite him where he stood. _Please, please, please... Just get it over with... Kill me._

"About this morning."

_Kill me, Kill me, KILL ME. Let earth open up and swallow me whole! I'm going to hell anyway, so why wait?_

_"_I know this is really, um... hard, but hear me out._"_

_Do it, God. Now. _

_Just promise me one thing._

"It's nothing to freak out about. But... as a father, it's my job to-"

_Let Zack go with me._

"-tell you the hard things in life."

"WAIT, I'M GAY!"

Silence. Cody opened his eyes in horror.

Zack stared back at him with an expression somewhere between terror and astonishment. There were simply no words.

Kurt merely blinked, staring at his eldest son in shock. "...What?"

"I'm gay," Zack repeated, turning to face him.


	24. The Breakfast From Hell

**Dah-dah-dah-DAH! Hello, my beautiful friends! I'm ba-aaaack...!**

**Mwahaha. And now, for the end to a painfully long hiatus. Boys, girls, hold onto your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy ride.**

**As a fresh reminder of the crazy events of the last chapter, I've included a bit of the end at the beginning to this one. Enjoy, and as always, tell me what you think!**

* * *

_"WAIT, I'M GAY!"_

_Silence. Cody opened his eyes in horror._

_Zack stared back at him with an expression somewhere between terror and astonishment. There were simply no words._

_Kurt merely blinked, staring at his eldest son in shock. "...What?"_

_"I'm gay," Zack repeated, turning to face him._

Kurt's jaw shut with a click; amazement making the wrinkles around his eyes seem nearly smooth.

"Oh. I—okay." Kurt stared at his plate, fork hanging loosely from his fist. "Not really where I was going with that, but—"

"It's okay, Dad," Zack said, reaching out a hand to pat Kurt's arm. "I know it's a lot to take in. And I'm sorry. It was supposed to stay private, just between brothers. You… weren't supposed to find out."

Kurt looked between Cody and Zack, confused. "What are you trying to say? This morning, I thought for sure…" A pause. "No. I _definitely_ saw…!"

"What you saw," Zack cut in, pushing the juice out of the way so he could lean his elbows on the table, "was taken completely out of context. I swear to God, Cody here was an innocent bystander in all this. He was just helping me with something I couldn't get from just anyone. I _mean_…" Zack sighed. "Okay, here's how it is. Lately, I've been pretty confused about my... _preferences_, and Cody offered—very generously, I might add, it can't have been easy for him—"

"Zack, don't," Cody blurted, but bit his tongue at Zack's expression—calculating. Fierce. But by the time Kurt looked his way, Zack's face was smooth as a coin, and stretched in an effortless smile.

"It's okay; _really_, Codes. It's better that he knows, in fact." Zack turned to their father, retracting his arm and grabbing a fork. "See, Cody offered to help me with an experiment yesterday—but then you showed up, and it kind of threw us for a loop. But when we woke up, you weren't there, so we figured it was the perfect time to, uh… carry out our plans, so to speak."

"Which… were…?"

Zack swallowed. "You know. To, um… help me see if I like guys." He lowered his voice meaningfully. "Like _that_."

"And your pants were missing because?"

Zack stared, face flushing. Cody didn't blame him. His own was flaming just as brightly, if not more. How could this possibly be going anywhere good?

And then Zack answered, voice a bit strained: "Why do _you_ think?" and Cody fairly_ died,_ covering his face.

Silence. Cody peeked. He was torn between wanting to bless his brother for thinking up an excuse so quickly, and wanting to kill him for coming up with _this_.

Kurt, meanwhile, had blanched completely. "Ah, I... Oh."

"It's..." Zack started.

"..._Oh_."

Cody really couldn't tell who was the most mortified of the three of them. His capacity to think had long vanished. All he wanted was for this **nightmare** to freaking end already.

"It's just, well… you know. I—I thought it might help me figure some things… out." Zack tried for a shrug and failed, cheeks a beet red.

"And so... you've done that, then, have you?" Kurt asked, clear and looking extremely uncomfortable.

"What?" Zack stared blankly for a moment. "Wh-No! We didn't do… no, of _course_ not. We didn't do anything, Dad-look, it was a dumb idea in the first place—"

Kurt interrupted him. "I _meant_, did you figure out what you were trying to figure out?"

"…Oh. Right. Well-" Zack floundered, looking about him. His eyes finally came to a rest on Cody's face.

The gaze could not have lasted longer than a couple of seconds; and yet, in that moment, Cody could have sworn that God had finally decided to follow through on his prayers from earlier. He could feel his heartbeats weakening, ribs slackening as they relinquished their meager lungfuls to the empty air. Because in those eyes, a world of language shone through. Years of silence lurked in their depths. Secrets littered about the pupil like open sores. Partial-truths a mile wide, twisted tight around the iris by a lifetime of lies. And there, amidst all that grey and green, sat hope. And comfort.

And something else.

"Yes," Zack affirmed, turning to Kurt, and Cody's pulse picked up again.

_Yes? _

Kurt, for his part, simply stared at the two of them, his eyebrows knitted tightly together.

"Well, then," he said wearily, rubbing the back of his neck, where his tan lines ended. "Zack, you should know that I… your mother and I... we accept you. And I'll always love you." His brows were furrowed, but the worry lines were gone, and his expression was serious.

That... was surprisingly easy. Cody stared at their father for even a hint of deception, but found none. Maybe he really _was_ okay with it, with them being gay. Well- Zack, anyway. Presumably, he didn't know anything about Cody's own preferences.

Zack, for his part, looked like Christmas had come early. Probably, like the idiot he was, he had gone into this hideous plan with no hopes of coming out alive. Absolutely typical. Cody shook his head, half in awe and half in overwhelming fondness.

Zack let out a puff of dead air, clearly relieved, and let the corners of his lips rise a little. "Thanks, Dad. It uh..." He cleared his throat. "It means a lot. To me."

"Of course. How could I feel any differently?" Kurt smiled back, then, his face coming alight with new wickedness. "Even if you _are_ a fudge-packer."

Cody choked a little, shocked that his father could even _say_ something like that to his kid's face. "Dad!"

Zack's eyes widened too, and for a moment, he looked hurt. But then understanding dawned in his face and he grinned, much to Cody's surprise, holding out a hand as if in truce—which Kurt gripped and shook hard before slapping Zack's back several times.

"_That's_ my old man," Zack said, features relaxing in a smile.

Cody stared between the both of them, before gazing down into his pancakes, baffled. "Boys," he said disparagingly, picking up his fork with renewed hunger- but he smiled even so into his syrup. Against all odds, Kurt and Zack had managed to fall into a natural-sounding banter, and it actually seemed like a healthy argument over baseball was well on its way. Cody could barely believe their luck. Once again, Zack's smooth-talking had come to their rescue.

And yet, at the same time, it was somehow more than that. So much more.

Zack... had finally said it.

Gratitude welled up in Cody's throat. He caught Zack's eye, meaning to thank his brother without using words- but then Zack winked at him, without even missing a beat, which of course caused Cody to choke on his carefully-sliced pancake square. Kurt didn't even notice, immersed as he was in his eggs-and-toast, and Zack laughed suddenly at something their father said.

That was when he knew that they would make it.


	25. Cody Gets Tackled

**A/N: Lalalala... This was ridiculously fun to write. Yay for no more writer's block! Rebecca Keys is A Dork With a Plan. Rebecca Keys Really Did Spill Her Tea. Rebecca- Well. I think you get it. Oh, and by the way? I would recommend a reread to this story. Not just because of the length between updates, but because I've spent the last month renovating some of the earlier chapters. They're a little shinier, a little less disjointed. In some cases, I think the emotions are more believable. But in any case, it's not necessary to reread anything. Feel free to just sit back and relax. :)**

**Next chapter: The Art of Dating in Plain Sight. Also oodles of fun. **

**Enjoy, mah peeps!**

* * *

"A… picnic?"

"Absolutely!" Their father bent to retrieve the large stack of picnic equipment sitting on the ground by the car, handing it all over to Cody. Cody accepted the load as best he could, wincing as a few of the items teetered dangerously. He gripped it with both arms.

"Uh-" Cody began, but Kurt had turned from him to talk to Zack, who was staring at their father with a dubious expression.

"Guys, it's gonna rock. _Trust_ me, I've got this whole day planned out. First a picnic at the park, then possibly some swimming or rollerblading and then—" He frowned at the sounds coming from behind him, glancing over his shoulder. "Codes, you need a hand with that?"

Cody was struggling—one of the blankets was starting to come loose, and the rest of the basket's contents were tipping. "I think—" But Zack was there before he could even voice the request, catching the pile and tucking the trailing fabric back into his arms along with the stack of dishes and trays. "Uh, thanks."

As Zack withdrew his hand, his knuckles brushed Cody's wrist, and goosebumps erupted all over his arm. He shivered.

"No problem." Zack returned his attention to Kurt, who was ranting about all of the exciting plans he had in store for the rest of the day. Cody let his words wash over him, feeling distracted.

He peered at Zack through a gap in the basket handle. His brother was nodding every now and then, arms crossed—but he seemed edgy. He'd been like that all morning; polite but withdrawn, responding to questions in one or two-word quips.

He was probably still just recovering from earlier….

Cody smiled stupidly into his arm bundle. Zack had been… amazing, at breakfast. Outing himself on the fly like that. Just so Cody wouldn't have to take the heat.

Of course, he was still pretty sure the whole 'gay experiment' angle wasn't the _best _choice Zack could have made. All awkwardness aside, it was a little too close to the truth for Cody's liking.

Even so, Kurt _was_ off their backs, now, and they were about to enjoy a nice day in the sun together with their dad. Cody had to admit that this was enormously better than the alternative.

From across the way, Cody met Zack's gaze and realized his brother must have been staring at him for quite a while. He heated under the careful scrutiny.

_Way to be obvious_, Cody thought loudly in his direction, wishing Zack would stop eye-molesting him for the whole world to see. It made it hard to think. Cody wetted his lips nervously, and as he watched Zack's eyes grew very, very dark.

Cody gulped for breath. Stupid air. Stupid... everything. He leant back, bumping awkwardly into the rear of the car and nearly losing his heavy load to the sidewalk. He adjusted the blankets with his elbows, and with a jolt remembered where they were, who they were with. He stiffened, breaking eye contact. Shot a look at their dad, who was still rambling on animatedly about the watering hole he'd often visited as a child. And most importantly, not paying attention.

Feeling a little better, Cody aimed his best glare in Zack's direction. His brother was, however, ignoring him— for all the world fully absorbed in Kurt's lecture. Great.

This was going to be harder than Cody thought: keeping his feelings safely below the surface while in their Dad's presence, never giving anything away. He knew that Kurt wanted to spend the whole day picnicking and hanging out at the park, but he also knew it would take mountains of energy just pretending he wasn't completely obsessed with Zack's hair today. He stared.

It was just so... pretty. More, the rays of the warm August sun were starting to turn his skin into something akin to gold. And then there were his eyes— his eyes seemed to sparkle with a light of their own.

It was Cody's turn to be caught staring. Zack smirked, before turning away again… and Cody felt like a dumbass. August sun? _Sparkle_?

It sounded awful even in his head.

Cody turned away from his brother's knowing looks, depositing his pile in the trunk by the rest of their equipment to distract himself. He did his very best to ignore the heat in his ears, and took his time with the blankets, arranging and rearranging them. Tucking in the corners. Untucking them. Switching up the order. Blue-green-black. Black-green-blue.

"I think that's everything," he called out finally, over his shoulder, just to break the crowding of his thoughts. He closed the trunk, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"We know," Kurt said sarcastically from the front seat window, and Cody realized from the look on his face that they must have been waiting for him for some time now. He heard muffled sniggering coming from the back seat, which confirmed his suspicions.

Embarrassed, he jaunted around the side of the car and slid in beside Zack, chucking the box of junk in his way into the passenger seat in front of him. He sat back and crossed his arms, stubbornly refusing to look at Zack's smirking face. He resisted the urge to smack it off completely.

Cody's efforts at nonchalance failed, of course, when a sneaking sideways hand attacked his leg, making him shriek. He retaliated, scowling.

Kurt pouted at them in the rear-view mirror. "Really? You're both just gonna sit back there?" But both boys were preoccupied with the sudden free-for-all tickle-fest—which Zack was _definitely_ winning—and paid him no attention. Kurt sighed dramatically to no one in particular. "This isn't a taxi service, guys."

* * *

"This looks like as good a place as any," Kurt sighed, taking a blanket from under his arm and laying it out over the damp grass in the shade of one of the oak trees.

Zack glanced at his brother expectantly, knowing how much he hated to get his ankles wet. Sure enough, and before the billowing cloth had barely made a complete landing, Cody was out of his shoes and leaping square into the center of the blanket. The corners landed softly around him.

Zack removed his own sneakers carefully, sitting on a corner so that Kurt could step onto it without kicking up the cloth. The basket of food—all store-bought sweets, drinks and pastries, of course—was propped in a corner of its own.

Cody was smiling, just the tiniest bit. The sight of it did strange things to Zack's composure. He schooled his goofy grin into some semblance of caring about this stupid picnic, and resisted the urge to leap on top of Cody and just sort of _wrestle_ him. Like they used to, when they were younger.

"Shnacks, anybody?" Kurt asked, cheeks full of doughnut. He held out a plate to Cody, who carefully lifted the edge of one glazed cinnamon-maple—and to Zack, who dove in and snagged the last Boston Cream with no small amount of triumph.

As if anyone would dare to take it from him.

Zack took a confident bite, pausing to hit his chest with both fists. Kurt snorted, sending rainbow sprinkles everywhere.

Cody rolled his eyes. But really, seeing Zack like this—acting more like his happy, playful old self (and as always, one hundred percent _boy_)—made something in him ache. But… sort of in a good way. Like taking the SAT.

Someone chucked a sprinkle at him. Goddammit.

Inconspicuously as he could, Cody grabbed the nearest handful of grass—that fresh, bright green smell spiking the air, intoxicating him at once—and whipped around, flicking the lot in Zack's face. He smirked at his brother's stunned mouth. It didn't last for long.

"Sacrilege!" Zack shrieked, tackling him. Cody fell back onto the blanket, soon finding himself with a hair full of grass and a lapful of Zackary. Kurt laughed at them both, too busy chucking weeds at them to notice the way Cody froze and stared up at his brother in alarm.

Zack smiled down at him, the moment stretching into the distance, a sunny, green eternity—and then Kurt cracked open a soda, and the moment was broken.

The sound of fizz awakened them both. Zack rolled off of his brother and onto the damp ground, stretching out his legs with a sigh. He lay there, staring at the oak tree above him and grinning hugely.

Cody sat up, and couldn't help but stare at the pretty sight that made. He looked so… relaxed and happy. Cody got onto his knees and crawled a little closer, squealing his surprise when Zack reached up without warning to pull him down. Cody stumbled and fell sideways… right into a muddy patch of weeds.

He glared at Zack dourly, wiping the dirt off his arm and shoulder, but couldn't help the muscles in his cheeks; couldn't stop the expression that was fighting to get out.

"Come _on_," Zack encouraged, looking absolutely wicked. Cody's lips quavered ever so slightly. Zack wiggled his eyebrows. "You know you want to." Kurt sipped loudly on his drink behind them, and that was it. The full force of Cody's smile was unleashed upon them all, and Zack's heart nearly stopped at the new warmth that radiated off of him.

Even Kurt noticed the difference. "Yay; fun Cody's back," he exclaimed through a mouthful of beer and chocolate, and Zack whooped, laughing.

Cody laughed, too.


	26. The Art of Dating in Plain Sight Pt 1

Chapter 26 – The Art of Dating in Plain Sight, Part One

**A/N: Fanfic . net has been really mean. Has anyone else noticed? I tried updating this on Monday (Monday, people) and it wouldn't let me. So, I'm really glad I could get this part up. Next part should be up within a day. Please enjoy, and as always, review if you liked it! (Or, I guess, if you hated it. Either way I want to hear from you.) **

* * *

A short while later, the men were lying around in a pile of contented sighs and ant-covered food wrappers. Their fingers were sticky and their bellies full, and the smell of apple pie had settled over everything silkier than a scarf. Meanwhile, the sun beat down in hot, steady rays, the occasional breeze carrying off the worst of it.

Gentle snoring could be heard from one corner of the blanket. Cody didn't blame whoever it was—he was feeling deliciously drowsy himself.

"Mmm," he said, stretching with a yawn. His wrist knocked against something solid, and he peeked under his arm to seek out the source of the disturbance. "Whoozit?"

His brother rolled over, blinking and bleary-eyed. "Huh?"

Cody smiled at him sleepily. "Oh… it's you. Were you snoring before?"

Zack's face screwed up in thought. "No...?"

"Must've been Dad," Cody nodded, craning his neck to look at the blanket's other occupant. "Dad?" He called out, testing. No answer. Cody laughed softly at Kurt's expression— totally relaxed, a bit sun-burnt.

"Sleeping," Cody confirmed with a nod. He yawned.

Zack looked at his brother, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Oh, really?" He said, stretching out lengthwise. "How very… interesting."

"Don't even think about it," Cody warned, rolling over.

"Why not?" Zack had flipped onto his back, his hands supporting the back of his head. He was the very picture of relaxed confidence. "He's sleeping, isn't he?"

Cody propped himself on his elbows, angling his body so he could glare at his brother more comfortably. "Don't you know better by now than to tempt fate?"

Zack waggled his brows, made a kissy face. Cody slapped his arm.

"I _mean_ it." Another smirk, and Cody glared harder. "No."

Zack bent his knees, knocking one against Cody's hip. "Come on," he pouted, suddenly innocent. "Just for a minute, at least." Cody rolled his eyes, pretending the sight didn't make his insides melt into a puddle of goo.

"Aren't you listening to me? I said no." Cody lowered his voice, shooting a quick glance toward their dad. "Plus, why would you even risk it?"

Zack's features relaxed, his smile growing wider. His eyes twinkled. Actually _twinkled_. Damn it.

"Don't do that," Cody said, pulling at some grass so he didn't have to look. "I'm not budging on this."

Zack inched closer, twisting his chest and hips this way and that until their sides were touching, and stared up at Cody sweetly. He bent his left knee in a deliberately slow arc so that the fabric of his shorts stretched tight across his lap.

"_Stop _it," Cody said, laughing a little. Zack was crap at playing 'innocent'. "You look completely... debauched."

"Debauched?" Zack asked, face puzzled, though his eyes were shining. "What does _that_ mean, Cody?" He slipped one palm out from under his head, dragging it slowly down and over his shirt to rest unassumingly on his belly. "Is it good, I hope?" He bit his lip.

Cody snorted. "You're being really weird," he said, but the words caught in his throat.

Zack circled his stomach with his hand, shirt riding up to reveal a stretch of smooth skin. "Admit it. You're ridiculously turned on right now."

Cody bit back a laugh, turning pink. "Are you crazy?" His eyes darted anxiously toward the other side of the blanket, but this time Zack grabbed his chin and forced Cody to look down at him.

Zack's eyes were unreadable. Cody swallowed, his heart racing in a way that was quickly becoming a reflex to his brother's every touch. "Tell me that you want me," Zack deadpanned, and Cody scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

"Excuse you?" He tried to pull away, but Zack's hand held him prisoner.

"Say it."

Cody shook his head, and Zack sighed. He let go, letting his wrist drop uselessly on the grass. His other hand, however, had resumed its journey down his abdomen and now slipped under his waistband.

Cody's eyes locked onto the movement at once, and he paused. Licked his lips. "You—" His lungs felt like they were shrinking.

So did his pants.

Zack, meanwhile, was breathing a bit more shallowly, and his hand had started to move back and forth beneath the fabric. The tent in his shorts was now very noticeable, and Cody shifted uncomfortably on the blanket.

But then the motions stopped, and Cody was forced to refocus on his brother's face, which was stretched in a definite smirk.

"Proof," Zack concluded smugly, removing his hand. "So say it."

Cody swallowed again, mouth dry. "We can't. Not here."

Zack craned his neck so he could look at their dad. A fly was zooming around Kurt's head, and he was drooling.

Definitely still asleep.

"Look, man," Zack said finally, a bit more serious. "Dad doesn't exist. It's just you and me now, okay?" He touched Cody's closest elbow, pulling him closer. "Just one kiss. That'll be it, I swear."

Cody stared down at the earnest face below him. _Foolish. Stupid. _Don't.

But what could one kiss hurt?

"One?" Cody asked, still unsure, but his resistance was crumbling fast and Zack knew it.

"Just one," Zack agreed.

But Cody was already kissing him.

Zack returned the kiss eagerly, mouth warm, soft, and all-consuming, and Cody moaned into his brother's plush lips; his arms and shoulders straining with the effort of holding himself above the other boy. Zack's right hand rose to rest softly upon the back of Cody's neck before tangling in his hair. Then, while Cody was distracted, his left tugged sharply at his hip.

Cody collapsed, and the pair gasped as one when their bellies made first contact. Zack rolled his hips sensuously, arching into Cody's weight, and Cody bit his neck in reward, his body reciprocating automatically to the feel of Zack's erection pressing into his belly. And at Zack's low, answering groan, Cody's only thought was how he might _die_ if they weren't careful, because he'd forgotten how good this felt.

Zack's hand rubbed at the dip in his back before going lower, clutching Cody's arse through his clothes.

Cody gasped, breaking the kiss and breathing hard. He stared wide-eyed at his twin, who looked exactly like the cat that got the cream.

"Too much?"

Cody rolled off him, groaning. The state of his hard-on hadn't lessoned any, but there was _no way_ they were finishing this here. "Pig," he called out mournfully, and Zack snickered.

"You loved it."

Cody turned his head. "That's not the point."

"Oh, yes it is." The self-satisfaction in his voice obvious, but at least he was being quiet about it. Cody thanked the Gods for small favors. He watched as Zack replaced his hands under his head and closed his eyes. "Now, we're getting somewhere."

"No, we aren't," Cody admonished, feeling flustered and contrary. He slowly stood and brushed off his khaki shorts, tugging his polo shirt down over his pants to hide the evidence of his erection. "Not right now, and definitely not here."

"Mrmh?"

Cody jumped and whipped around, as the sound had come from the other side of the blanket. Zack, too, sat up in a hurry, crossing his outstretched legs. They looked at their father anxiously.

Kurt on the other hand just looked blissed out, and very confused. He had several creases from the blanket etched out across his left cheek.

"You were asleep, Dad," Cody told him after a moment, relief flooding him as he realized it was true.

"Why'd you let me?" Kurt asked, drawing out the words.

Zack answered first, grabbing a can of sun-warmed soda. "Because you were so darned _cute, _that's why. We couldn't bear to wake you."___Pop. _Fizzle. If Cody hadn't been watching him carefully, he might not have noticed that Zack's hands were shaking.

Kurt glared at them both, squinting, but the effect was ruined by the dried drool on the side of his lip. He wiped at his mouth and sat up, grabbing a beer from the basket and fumbling with the tab. He took a cautious sip, grimacing at the taste. "Ugh, it's hot." Without thinking, he tossed the can resolutely over his shoulder, and it landed some distance away in the grass before rolling down the hill.

Cody's mouth fell open. "Dad!" He stepped over Kurt's legs and took off down the hill after the drink.

Kurt and Zack looked on in some amusement, and when Cody returned he was still grumbling. "In this family," he said under his breath, clutching the can, "we recycle."

* * *

**A/N:** **Part Two is in progress and should be uploaded within a day. :)**


	27. The Art of Dating in Plain Sight Pt 2

**A/N: Insert pitiful excuse here? *is sheepish* I don't know what to tell you guys. I'm sorry for the wait. I love this story. All I can say is that I promised I would never give up on this story, and I intend to keep that promise until the very end. So please- bear with me! Now on with the story. :D**

* * *

"That's just not right." Laughter.

Kurt's arms were crossed, and he was staring at the spectacle before him with an expression somewhere between horror and morbid curiosity.

From several feet away, Zack tried to voice his agreement—but couldn't quite make the words leave his throat. The back of his neck felt tingly and hot.

Cody's chest, meanwhile, heaved with exertion, his face red. His hair looked unusually long, gravity pulling the blonde strands down. Zack swallowed. The sounds Cody was making reminded him of—

"Doesn't it hurt?" Kurt asked, sounding genuinely curious.

It was Cody's turn to laugh, the sound strained and breathy. "Feels great, actually."

Zack blushed to his ears, and looked away. Glad his dad was preoccupied.

Cody was bent over the grass, his body contorted in an odd sort of backward lean, with his legs and arms bracing his weight against the ground while his chest and belly arched upward. A "bridge," he'd called it. Looked more like suicide by spinal breakage. Zack snorted at the thought.

"You can stop anytime you like," Zack finally managed, trying not to stare at Cody's exposed belly where his shirt had ridden up. His shorts had long grown uncomfortably tight.

At his suggestion, Cody only arched higher, as if to prove some kind of point, and Zack could have cried.

"You know what? I think I'm good." Cody smiled, as if the joke were on Zack. And that's when he realized it probably was.

Kurt sighed, thankfully oblivious. "Fine. You win. There's no way I'm trying that." He rubbed his neck. "I guess I'm just old."

Cody laughed, finally collapsing with a huff. "Admitting it is always the first step." He gasped as he stretched out his legs. "Don't worry, Dad, you'll get over it."

Zack, for his part, was just really glad it was over. He couldn't believe how much the sight of Cody—doing that—affected him.

"I still have you beat in practically every other physical competition known to God-fearing men."

Cody grinned harder. "So the tree was a fluke, then?"

"That didn't count. In case you forgot, I was the one chasing _you_. You were just escaping." Cody raised an eyebrow. "Very, very well."

Zack cut in. "You mean he was showing _off_." Then felt like an idiot for opening his mouth, because really. His voice was just as strained as he feared it would be, and so very… obvious. Stupid.

Cody turned to look at him sideways, smirking. "Jealous, Zack? Wish you had moves like mine?"

"Of course not, you looked ridiculous," Zack spluttered. Kurt snickered quietly in the background. "Besides, I've got skills you wouldn't even dream of."

"Oh?" Cody sat up, voice innocent. "Prove it, then. Come on."

Zack eyed his father warily, but Kurt looked smug and not at all suspicious. So he turned to address Cody, crossing his arms.

"What's the challenge?"

Cody paused, looking to the sky for inspiration. Then he smiled wickedly.

"I challenge you to do… a cartwheel."

"What?" Zack asked, outraged. "No, that's stupid."

Cody frowned. "Lame."

"Very lame," Kurt agreed. He was laughing on the inside, Zack could tell.

Cart wheels. They looked fucking painful. Just like everything else the other two had been doing for the past hour. Of course, Zack didn't really want to admit that he didn't know how. But all things considered, that was probably the least of his concerns. His manhood was at _stake_. Asking was always preferable to backing down.

"Fine," Zack bit out finally. "...How do you do it?" He asked it with an edge to his voice, one that dared them to mock his ignorance. Surprisingly, Cody chose not to call him out on his display of weakness. The other boy simply got to his feet, brushing dirt off his hands.

"It's easy," Cody reassured him, taking Zack by the shoulders. Zack tensed instantly, but Cody only gripped him harder. He leaned close, mouth barely moving as he murmured "_play along_" into his ear. Zack peeked a glance at Kurt, who was clearly waiting eagerly for Zack to make a fool of himself. Zack found himself nodding, and tried not to let his eyes flutter closed at the feel of Cody's breath against his neck.

Cody stepped back, leaving one hand on Zack's arm. He used his grip to straighten out Zack's elbow, indicating that he do the same with his other one.

"Hold your arms like this—yes—and splay your legs like this." He stepped between Zack's feet and kicked them apart, the very picture of nonchalance and composure.

Zack sucked in a small, surprised breath, the tingling returning full force. This time in his thighs.

This had to be payback for earlier, he thought darkly. His eyes narrowed into slits. "Don't kick me," he said for Kurt's benefit, because the old Zack would never have let that go unchallenged. Privately, he couldn't help but beg his brother silently to_ do it again_.

Cody saw his thoughts, and smiled grimly, the twinkle in his eye betraying his harsh expression. "Just do what I do," he said, as if Zack was incompetent.

Without further ado, he stretched into an 'X' and leapt a few inches into the air, tumbling over to bounce off his hands while his feet kicked out above him. Upright once more, he smirked in Zack's direction as he rubbed grass off his palms. "Your turn. Think you can handle it?"

Zack wasn't sure anymore.

Kurt clapped appreciatively, bending to sit on the ground cross-legged. "This next one oughta be good," he teased, and Zack glared.

"Thanks Dad." It did the trick, though. No amount of self-doubt could make him not want to wipe that smirk off his dad's face. Even if it was all in good fun. What could he say? Zack had issues with losing.

"Ignore him," Cody urged, looking earnest, and Zack thought he heard more behind those words than Kurt did. "You can do this."

And so he did as Cody said: shut his dad out entirely. Now, in this one moment, it was just him and the grass.

And it was _so_ on.

He stared at the ground suspiciously for a moment, as if it might reach out and trip him on purpose. But then he held out his arms as Cody had done, and jumped.

And came crashing down painfully onto his side.

Kurt applauded, whooping. "Yeah! Work it, Zack. Work it."

Cody tutted regretfully. "I saw that, Zack." He reached down, offering a hand to pull him up. "You sabotaged yourself." Zack allowed himself to be pulled and shook his head.

"Not on purpose," he complained, ignoring the scrape on his elbow.

"You've got to trust that you can do it, all the way through." Cody looked him right in the eye as he spoke, its implications just for him, and Zack felt the stare go all the way down to his toes. "You've got it in you. You know what to do. So stop thinking about it and just do it. Watch me."

He again demonstrated the correct series of movements, this time cart wheeling twice without stopping. Zack's eyes widened in grudging admiration at his form and grace. Cody made it look so easy.

"Okay," Zack said, setting his jaw. He moved back a couple steps and lifted his hands.

"Out straight, like this," Cody said, coming up behind him to tug at his elbows. Zack tensed up immediately, though he tried not to react, tried not to shiver, tried not to lean backward into that heat, privately hating Cody for doing this to him.

"_Cody_," Zack warned, lips barely moving.

"Shut up and do as I tell you."

Damn.

"Yes, _sir_."

Kurt snorted, and Zack wished to god Kurt would just leave, so he and Cody could be alone. And then they could finish—

"Lift your right leg—no, I told you straight! Pay attention. Hold it out. _Sideways_. Okay, now when I let go you're going to rock your weight onto that foot and use the momentum to bounce off your hands. Make sure to keep your body as straight as possible." Zack shuddered at the sound of Cody's hard, commanding tenor.

And oh, the irony. But Zack wisely shut up about that, and reminded himself to make Cody use that voice again _later_.

"Ready?" Cody asked, and Zack shrugged.

"Relatively." Cody leaned closer, the slightest of movements, whispering unseen into his ear.

"Do this right and I'll make it up to you." The words a dark promise. Zack nearly buckled at the thought of what that might mean, and straightened self-consciously.

"Do it already," Kurt complained, and Zack tried not to whine himself when Cody put more distance between their bodies.

"On go. One… two… go."

He went.

The world spun around, a flash of blue and green and blonde. And then he was standing, almost without a clue of how he'd gotten there. His abdomen felt a little sore, but he was grinning. Adrenaline pumping through him, he jumped up and did another. And another.

He felt dizzy when he stopped, and stumbled forward. "Ow."

Kurt whistled. "Yeah, Zack. That was hot!"

"Dad!" Cody admonished, scandalized. Kurt only chuckled in response as he stood, crossing over to pound Zack on the back hard several times.

"Way to show Cody up," Kurt said approvingly, and Zack couldn't help but feel a bit proud at that.

"I'll admit it. You learn fast," Cody smiled slowly, and that felt even better.

Zack ducked his head and grinned. "I had a pretty good incentive," he remarked under his breath, and he was rewarded with a blush.

Kurt slapped at his own arm, wincing. "Okay, that's it. Six mosquitoes is my limit." He squinted at the pink skyline and cracked his knuckles. "You boys about ready to head back?"

The twins nodded, and the three set about cleaning up.

As they were headed back to the parking lot, Kurt asked them a question, his voice more serious than it had been all afternoon.

"I hope you guys liked your present," he said somewhat shyly, and Zack looked at him in surprise.

"It was great," he said honestly, and Cody agreed.

"I'm sorry about… about breakfast." He hefted his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the van, looking sheepish.

Both boys colored. "It's fine, Dad," Cody said firmly. "Don't mention it."

"Ever," Zack added hastily.

Kurt barked out a laugh, and the air grew three pounds lighter. The tension fled Zack's shoulders, and he shot a look of relief at Cody, who returned it.

When the van was packed and ready, the three men got in the car.

As they pulled out of the parking space, Kurt's arm braced against the back of Cody's chair—he'd called shotgun this round—their Dad was still laughing, and muttering quietly to himself under his breath.

Cody thought he'd said something fresh, then, like "that was the plan." But he couldn't be sure.


	28. Foxy

**A/N: Wohoo, only three days since my last update. Take that, haters. ;D Warning: Sap. Be prepared to get sticky. **

* * *

"'Night mom!" Zack chucked his bags on the ground by Carey's feet as he leapt over her ankles, making a mad beeline for the bedroom.

Cody caught up to him, panting, dropping his own pack next to Zack's. "Yeah, what he said!'" He skidded, colliding with the door before his brother could reach the doorknob; only stopping long enough to turn and give Carey a sheepish wave. Zack took advantage of his distraction, shoving him aside, and they struggled briefly.

"Move—!" Breathless laughter. Zack pried the handle from beneath Cody's fingers and disappeared inside the room victorious, slamming the door in his face.

Cody stared at the length of cold, hard wood in open-mouthed disbelief, his sweaty hands sliding uselessly down the doorframe. "Zack, you—" Seconds later the door opened again, just long enough for one slim hand to reach out and pull him inside by the shirt.

The second slam was even louder than the first. Carey stared at the shaking wood for several moments.

"Good night," she called out wonderingly. "Guys?" There was no answer. "Did you have fun with your dad?"

A loud shushing noise could be heard from behind the door, followed by silence. There was the sound of low, hushed laughter and a throat being cleared.

"Yeah, Mom… It was really fun…"

"Dad says hi."

More giggles.

Carey rolled her eyes, returning to her book. "I don't even want to know what kinds of drugs he gave you," she called out as threateningly as she could, but it was half-hearted at best.

They ignored her.

She sighed, flipping a page, and returned the favor.

* * *

Zack and Cody grinned at each other, breathing hard in the dark. Cody knocked the back of his head against the wood, feeling high.

"Zack…" he resisted aimlessly, but Zack silenced him with a finger to his lips, pressing his arm more firmly across Cody's chest.

They waited several moments, listening, but apparently their mom was done with them for the night.

Zack's face grew predatory in the darkness, and Cody shivered. The wood from the door was digging rather painfully into his back, but he could bear it for a hundred years so long as his brother kept looking at him like _that_.

When Zack spoke again, his voice was very soft and very, very low. "You deserve what's coming, you know. Teasing me like that." He stepped between Cody's legs and pressed forward, making his point.

Cody laughed, his chest fluttering under Zack's hand even as his chin lifted in defiance. "I have no idea what you mean, sir." He could feel the evidence of Zack's arousal digging into his stomach, and it was all he could do to bite back a moan.

Zack chuckled. "Oh, I don't know about that." He pressed flush against him, and Cody clenched his teeth. "I seem to remember this brat I know telling me he'd 'make it up to me later'. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Cody?"

He relinquished his grip on Cody's shoulder long enough to stroke his chest lightly through the fabric of his shirt. Cody leaned into the touch, his eyes closing, but the hand stopped him from moving, pushing him back against the wood.

"I… suppose I might," he grinned finally, and Zack responded with a slow lick up the side of his prisoner's jaw, "_ah_… know something."

Zack smiled into his Adam's apple. "Tell me, Cody_._ Just what would this compensation involve? I'm... curious." His lips parted at the juncture between Cody's neck and shoulder, applying light suction to his sensitive skin. Cody melted bonelessly into the woodwork. "What could you possibly give me that I don't already have?" Zack captured Cody's wrists to illustrate, pinning them squarely above his head and leaning in close.

Cody tried for a kiss, but Zack drew away from his questing lips, smirking.

"Oh, no. I already have those. Wouldn't you agree?" Zack laughed at his own joke. He returned to mouthing at the side of his throat.

"Then what…" Cody paused, breathing hard, and thought.

Zack couldn't _really_ be referring to... could he? But then, he had asked for it before. And now that things were better between them, perhaps it made sense that Zack wanted to go further.

Hands slid under his waistband, one clutching possessively at his hip while the other slid up his back.

Cody chose his next words carefully, feeling lightheaded. "Is that what you want?" He gasped as Zack nipped at his ear, and pressed forward hesitantly, a small thrill running through him when Zack copied him. "I mean- what it is that I can give you, that you don't already have."

Zack had been attempting to divest Cody of his shirt, but at Cody's question he looked up at him in alarm. "What?"

Cody frowned at the sudden change in his brother's demeanor, eyeing the dark line worrying his brother's brow and reaching out as if to wipe the lines away.

But Zack released him quickly, as if the touch had shocked him. "You really think that's how I'd ask you for that?" His brow furrowed even further.

"I—well, I guess not. No." Cody licked his lips. Part of him was relieved he'd been wrong, but the rest of him was at a loss to explain his brother's clenched fists and paling face. He tried to explain, his voice as gentle as he could make it. "It's not that much of a stretch, though, is it?"

He looked down, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Zack's shorts. "We haven't exactly—you know, done that yet, and… I know you've been wanting it forever. I can feel it, whenever we're together." Willing himself not to blush. "You've been so good to me, so wonderful, and I... I want to give this to you."

When Zack didn't move, Cody bit his lip and went over to the bed, anxious. His brother followed after a couple seconds, as predicted, perching awkwardly at Cody's side to stare at the opposite wall.

"Zack?" Cody asked after several moments of uncomfortable silence. "Talk to me." A terrible thought occurred to him. "Do you not want to? Is that it? If so-"

"How could you just," Zack interrupted, mouth twisted as if it hurt. "Man, I..."

"What? What is it?" His brother's eyes were downcast. "If you don't tell me, Zack, then I can't do anything about it," Cody urged, hoping his face displayed the earnestness he felt.

Zack turned away from him on the bed. "You never _owe_ me sex, Cody." His words were tight and short, like they hurt. "You have to know that."

Cody blinked, bewildered. He placed a hand on Zack's shoulder, feeling suddenly out of his depths. "Of course I do! I didn't mean it like that." He leaned forward, planting wet kisses all over his brother's ear, his hair, the corner of his mouth. Those always made Zack smile. "Relax, okay?"

Zack turned to meet his lips head on, and Cody could feel a shiver running through the other boy's body from the hand braced on his chest for support. Cody did his very best to kiss the shivers gone. He stroked the hairs at Zack's neck, overwhelmed with love for the boy sitting beside him. If only he could make Zack understand.

Cody would do anything for him.

Zack's hand was shaking where it pressed against Cody's shirt, and Cody grabbed it before Zack could pull away, stroking along his knuckles. He tried to deepen the kiss but Zack ended it before he could.

Cody tucked a couple of hairs behind Zack's ear, hating the way Zack flinched. "What is with you, Zack?" He scooted closer, and for the moment Zack let him. "I can't read your mind, contrary to popular opinion. So…" He scrambled for the words. "Just tell me what I did wrong?"

"…You didn't do anything."

A snort. "Great, Zack. Fine… What did I _say_?"

Zack paused, staring at the opposite wall like it fascinated him. "Earlier today, when I made you kiss me. Why didn't you say anything?"

Another snort, although the non sequiter surprised him. "Actually, Zack, I kind of did." He hesitated. "But you didn't _make_ me kiss you. I was pretty heavily invested, if you recall."

"I meant, why did you cave? If you didn't want it?"

Cody blinked. "Of course I wanted it." His brow furrowed as he thought. "I may have put up a fight, but I was just worried about Dad…. I thought that was obvious." He squinted at his brother suspiciously. "Is that what you're so worried about? I mean… how could you possibly doubt that I want you?"

Zack rolled his eyes at that, but quickly sobered. He cleared his throat. "I know that you have... desires for me. But you never seem to want to act on them. This past week has been… well, you know." He frowned. "There were times when we were sleeping together, and I'd be lying right next to you so that you could…" he swallowed, "obviously _feel_ how much you were affecting me. And then… when I found that book, it was so clear that you were uncomfortable talking about it, but I just kept pushing." His eyes squeezed shut. "We haven't _done_ anything since our date, Cody. You know? And even that was my idea." A pause. "Everything was my idea."

Cody reached out to put a hand on Zack's arm, feeling the beginnings of real fear swirl around in his stomach when Zack leaned away and turned to meet his eyes. "What in God's name are you getting at?" He didn't like that look. At all. "Zack, you're freaking me out."

Zack was getting red. "You're attracted to men, Cody," he finally burst out, the sound an intense whisper.

"So are you," Cody pointed out, irritated.

Zack ignored him. "And I'm the first guy that's showed you any interest. From the beginning, I was the one who called the shots. And then, right after you—sucked me..." Zack stumbled on, sipping air. "You had that weird nervous breakdown. That wasn't the only time, either; you've been having them for weeks. Obsessive showering, baby wipes carried everywhere—and afterwards the bathroom always reeking of Windex." Harsher. "_Don't_ think I haven't noticed."

Cody paled. Unable to defend himself, because was Zack had said was true, all of it, though he had been hoping against hope Zack hadn't really noticed. "It's not like that, Zack," he said weakly, "I swear. I've always been a neat freak."

Zack closed his eyes, frustrated. "Would you listen to me? What if… what if all of our fighting and troubles have been happening because… deep down, you don't really want to be fooling around with your brother?"

Cody stared at him. After several moments of careful consideration, he spoke, making sure to keep his voice as level as possible. "Zack. Look at me."

He did, but it took a while. Eyes shuttered like a door, lips flat as a line.

"I will be completely frank and honest with you," he began, not knowing exactly how to get the words out the way he wanted them. "Part of me... still has _no_ idea what I'm doing. Part of me still recoils at the idea that I found love with my own flesh and blood, my twin. The one person I have loved without fail since before I was even born." He paused. "On the face of it, it couldn't be more wrong, could it?"

Zack had flinched after every blunt statement, and now sat completely still, listening. Cody continued, his voice barely a wisp. "And when you kissed me, that first time... A part of me felt like it sort of. Died."

At this last sentiment Zack stood, fists clenched. Cody stopped him, blurting out, "No, you didn't let me finish!" He tugged. "Please, sit."

Zack sat, his face dark, and Cody took a deep breath.

"The part of me that died, Zack? Was the part that was pretending. Hiding. Hurting. It... was never really me in the first place." He licked his lips, and met his brother's dark, considering gaze. "In a way, you… introduced me to myself. I'm new, Zack. I'm a new person. I mean… I never claimed that I'm _comfortable, _exactly, with- with what we're doing. Because when is rebirth every comfortable?"

Cody hadn't let go of his grip on Zack's arm, and now stroked his skin carefully with his other hand, searching for the words that fit. "It's hard, and it chafes, and sometimes it even kills. But that's not always a bad thing. You know?" He bit his lip, the truth as solid and real before him as Zack himself. "And it does nothing to change the fact that I am absolutely, totally and irrevocably, head-over-heels in love with you."

"No!" Zack's face was tight, shoulders bowed beneath guilt and denial. "You say that, but you can't _know_ that."

"But I do! I _love_ you, Zack. I trust you, I _need_ you, and I want you." He swallowed. "God, I want you. And if that's wrong-"

Zack flustered, pulling weakly at his trapped arm to no avail. "How can you be so sure you'll feel the same in a month? Or four? Or a year?" He shook his head. "You should take some time off, see other people. Make… make absolute sure." At that he went a little green around the edges, as if the very thought of his own suggestion made him sick.

Cody stood without a word, fed up; his jaw set into a severe line, he glared down at his older brother with all the fury he could muster.

"Zackary Martin, you are going to shut up and listen." Zack froze, face paling, but obeyed. Cody crossed his arms. "You are a real idiot sometimes. I could punch you right now, I really could. Sorry." He lowered his voice self-consciously, daring a quick glance at the closed door. He cleared his throat, the fire in his eyes renewed by the time he returned to Zack's face. "I know we've had our share of fights these past few weeks, and believe me, I _know_ that there are plenty of issues I still have to work out on my own." He paused, blushing. "Issues that have nothing to do with you. Honest." Zack looked doubtful, but remained silent, so Cody continued. "But I am telling you— would you look at me when I'm talking to you?"

Zack did, his eyes going wide when Cody pointed at him and shook his finger as menacingly as he could.

"When I tell you that I love you, Zack, it means that I love you more than anything in this world, and that I know you'll always feel the same. I don't want to be with anyone but you." He grabbed Zack's hand, pressing it fiercely to his heart.

Zack's eyes went suspiciously bright, his adam's apple bobbing, and Cody clutched his hand closer.

"To say that you complete me would leave too much unsaid, and there just isn't time for me to explain how much I need you." He kissed the palm in his grip earnestly, dragging his lips softly up the thumb. "And when I tell you that I trust you, I don't mean 'just for the moment,' or 'just about the small things,' or 'only on the days that go off without a hitch.' I mean it for _forever_. So stop worrying if you are right for me." He frowned. "Breathe, Zack."

Zack looked like he was suffocating, or possibly drowning. The blood hadn't yet returned to his face. Cody tugged at his hand again, making him stand, and brought the palm down to rest on his hipbone, curling the fingers around his thigh and holding them there. Zack gazed at his hand, still not breathing.

"So when I tell you that I want you, Zack? It means that I'm on fire, and that if you don't touch me this instant I could very well die."

Cody purposely shifted, moving so that Zack's knuckles grazed Cody's erection through his shorts, and Zack gasped as if coming alive, lips parting in surprised pleasure. His eyes darted up to meet his, shining with some unnameable emotion.

The sight made Cody weak in the knees.

"And then wouldn't you feel terrible?" he finished weakly. Wings beating fiercely, brushing feathery soft against the walls of his heart...

Before he could say another word, Zack's arms were around him and Cody was tugged into a vicious hug, one that hurt in all the right ways. He closed his eyes against the sudden column of warmth that flooded him, returning the embrace, and Zack flipped them around so that Cody lay flat on the bed, the sheets still strewn about the floor from that morning.

Zack crouched above him and Cody promptly buried his hands in his hair, taking in the smell and weight of it. It comforted and delighted him in equal measure.

"Want me, do you?" Zack asked between kisses, eloquent as always, and Cody could feel his pulse pounding through their lips. "Need me forever?"

Cody gasped as his brother bit him, collarbone burning from the brand. "Yes…"

Zack stopped, staring down in quiet awe. "Love me?"

Cody braced himself up on his elbows, his face an inch away. "Always."

A sparkling kiss. An accusing nip.

Soft: "Are you sure?"

Cody growled, turning them around so that he was on top, pushing Zack into the mattress by the shoulders. "Don't make me hurt you."

Zack chuckled, the sound turning into a groan. "God, you're so... foxy."

Cody rewarded him with a sinfully luxurious kiss and a laugh. "Foxy, huh?"

The older boy moaned. "Yeah…" Cody grinned at the hint of embarrassment that shone through. "I like it when you take charge..." He added just a bit of tongue, making note of Zack's every reaction. Beneath his hands, Zack's chest stretched as his back arched, arms folding around to pull him even closer.

"That's it," Cody whispered by his cheek, knotting his hands in Zack's hair. "Let me love you."

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**A/N: I have a feeling you guys are going to like this next bit. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself. XD**

**As always, review if you liked it, or even if you didn't. :D**


	29. Ba, Ba, Black Sheep

**A/N: Begin.**

* * *

_"That's it," Cody whispered by his cheek, knotting his hands in Zack's hair. "Let me love you."_

"Yes…" Zack hissed, tugging him helplessly into a one-armed embrace that was half hug and half grind. They both moaned

Cody nuzzled his ear, nipping it perfunctorily, before murmuring, "I know you didn't mean what you said before, at least not the way I thought you meant it, but _I_ mean it…" He licked a long stripe up his victim's neck. "If you know what I mean…."

Zack laughed, not at all understanding, but not really caring either. He stretched his head to the side to reveal more skin, silently begging. "Why d'you have to be such a goddamn smartass all the time?" he asked, eyes closed.

Cody sucked at the skin of his jaw before drawing back, smiling hugely. "What I _mean_ is—yes. Let's do it."

Zack stilled, eyes opening. "Huh?"

Cody laughed at his expression, a rare twinkle dancing in his eye. He braced himself up on his arms, stretching briefly, before straddling him at the waist. "Let's do it. Have sex."

Zack lifted a hand, stroking down the length of Cody's shoulder and straightened elbow, before resting at his wrist and curling his fingers around it. "I'm okay, Cody. Relax. We don't have to go that far today." His voice was soothing, and he had a knowing smile, as if he were attempting to calm a skittish kitten. "This is far enough, believe me."

Cody raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I don't remember asking if you were okay." He squeezed his thighs together pointedly. "But it's nice to hear."

"Cody," Zack warned, dismayed to hear how high-pitched his voice sounded, but resolutely holding his ground. "I'm serious, there's no need to hurry into things. We've been through a lot today, and I really think you should slow—_ah!_" His words were cut off in a gasp as Cody leaned backward slightly, pressing himself firmly into Zack's lap.

"Slow down?" Cody asked sarcastically, rotating his hips with devastating unhurriedness. "I personally prefer to go fast, but that can be arranged, too."

Zack stared up at him with an auditory swallow. "You're serious?"

Cody smacked him upside the head, and Zack yelped. "Ow—what…?"

"You ask me that one more time and I _will_ hit you again."

The slap seemed to do the trick. Zack grinned. "Okay, Mr. Bossy." With a surge of unexpected strength, he sat up with his arms around Cody's waist, so he wouldn't fall, and turned them around. Cody fell back on his elbows.

"How do you want to do this?" Zack asked, looked deeply into each of his eyes as if searching for signs of a concussion. "I know you were freaking out a few weeks ago about being… penetrated and all, but perhaps another position might help? Missionary is rather overrated after all, and it might give you a greater feel of control if I entered you from—"

"Whoa, whoa. Wait up." Cody glared. "Why are you automatically on top?"

Zack blinked, hesitating. "Um. I guess I just…." He supposed he really didn't have an answer to that.

Cody shook his head, smiling smugly. "Roll over, you jerk."

And so Zack did. Well, this was an interesting turn of events.

Once he was lying on his stomach lengthwise on the bed, Cody straddled him again, sitting on his thighs comfortably. He pulled at the edge of Zack's shirt, urging him to "Lean up for a second." Again, Zack did as he was told, thinking that he must be missing something, but also feeling strangely as if he didn't entirely… mind it. His heart was beating erratically now; whether in anticipation or anxiety he couldn't tell.

The shirt was rolled up and over and off Zack's head before he could blink, and when that was done, Cody instructed him to lie back down and placed a pillow under his head. "Hold on a second," Cody ordered, reaching over into the drawer beside his bed and pulling out a tub of… some sort of cream?

"Um, Cody—what is that?"

Cody looked up. "Hmm? Oh, it's just a little something. You'll see."

Zack stared at him doubtfully. "Uh huh."

Cody laughed. "Don't you trust me, Zack?" At his brother's non-answer, his grin widened. "Seriously, you're going to like this. Relax."

Zack closed his eyes and tried to do just that. Relax. _That shouldn't be too hard_, he thought. It wasn't like he didn't trust Cody. Because he did.

Damp, cold hands landed on his shoulder blades, and he winced.

"Oh, shush, you big wimp," Cody reprimanded softly. "It's just a mint balm." With that, the hands began to move, and Zack finally began to listen. The tension bled from his back, and he sank more peacefully into the pillow, breathing in the cold, refreshing scent with a sigh.

"That okay?" Cody checked as his fingers drew circles in the small of his back, before drifting up to his neck and digging in more firmly.

"Mmm," Zack replied, chuckling—mostly at himself. "Yeah; wonderful, in fact."

The hands pressed everywhere; warm skin warring with the cool, minty cream, and Zack felt the world begin to melt away. Every now and then he let out a small noise to show his appreciation, but those were the only sounds in the room apart from Cody's shallow breaths. It was just them, now: Zack, and the the heavenly creature perched upon his legs as if he belonged there; heavy and warm and talented, making him feel like there was really nothing else worth feeling or knowing in the world but this—and them.

"So," Zack began, groaning into the pillow. "You just happened to have—ah—a big thing of mint balm in your bedside drawer?" Cody ignored him. "Seems pretty freaking convenient, don't you think?" He sighed, turning his head. "It's almost as if you planned it."

That got a laugh out of Cody. "No, actually—turns out, there are some pretty neat perks to having Cody Martin for a boyfriend." He leaned close, digging into a particularly hard knot. "Just ask Barbara."

He let Zack ponder on that for a few minutes, moving his wicked hands in a firm slide down Zack's spine, and proceeded to flay Zack alive with his touch, muscle by muscle, for what felt like eons— and soon, Zack was nothing more than a speck of lint on the mattress; a breeze on the wind. A drop in the pond. A feather on a—

Zack felt something pull at his shorts, interrupting his inner dialogue, and he twitched. "Mmm?"

"Turn over," Cody mumbled, and at the slight strain in his voice Zack hastened to comply. He opened his eyes- gazing up in wonder at Cody's bitten red lips and dilated pupils. "Now—now your front."

Zack nodded, never breaking eye contact, and Cody took that as permission. He applied more balm to his hands and set them on Zack's chest, skating his fingertips across nipples and ribs and abdomen and raising gooseflesh in their wake. Zack sucked in a breath, the skin of his belly rippling under Cody's moist, shaky touch.

A strangled moan broke the intense quiet, and Zack was worried for a second until he realized the sound hadn't come from him but from Cody, who shifted in his lap. He was breathing hard and staring at Zack with a very… odd expression.

Zack swallowed, feeling suddenly bare under that heavy gaze. "I… think you're wearing way too many clothes," Zack tried hesitantly, leaning up enough to pull at Cody's polo with one hand. "I feel kind of naked over here."

For a moment Cody said nothing, then seemed to realize Zack had spoken and started. "Naked?" he asked, sounding dumbstruck by the idea.

Zack had to bite back a laugh, thinking it probably wouldn't help matters. "Are you okay, man?"

"Yeah… Yeah. I'm fine." Cody took a deep, rattling breath, as if he'd forgotten how, and leant forward, pushing at Zack's chest. "Yeah. Just let me…" He cut himself off, pressing his wet, warm mouth to the very place his hand had been.

Cody's lips moved slightly, and then that shocking heat wrapped around Zack's right nipple.

Sparks ripped through him, and Zack scrabbled for Cody's hair, tugging his head closer. "Freaking...!" But Zack couldn't speak after that, couldn't do anything but groan.

Cody pulled away, gasping, trying to hide the pleasure in his voice and not quite succeeding. "That is… that was," he tried, clearing his throat, "a fairly strong reaction, wasn't it?" His lips were red.

Zack wanted dearly to kiss his silly brother quiet, and sat up to do just that, but his silly brother kissed him first; searing and hungry and with much more teeth than tongue. It hurt.

Zack moaned his acceptance, lying back and arching up into Cody's chest. Cody rewarded him with a long, rocking thrust, and Zack's eyes promptly rolled back into his head. He tried vainly to reciprocate, but could do little more than grab Cody's shoulders to pull him closer and hold on for dear life.

"Take," a kiss, "_shirt_," Cody begged eventually, tugging at Zack's bottom lip with his teeth and snaking a knee between Zack's open thighs.

Somewhere in the back of Zack's fried, short-circuited brain, that request made some sort of sense, and he arched his back, raking fingers across Cody's spine and down toward the edge of his polo. Pulling vaguely.

Against all reason, it worked, and they hissed as the shirt took a short vacation across the room, and their bare chests made contact for the first time that in what seemed like forever (but was probably more like a day).

The sensation only served to amplify Cody's impatience. His fingers shook as they wormed their way between their bodies, struggling briefly with Zack's zipper.

"Off," Cody panted, and Zack nodded frantically, helping Cody with his as well.

Off, off, off.

There was nothing on earth quite so stunning, Zack thought blissfully about a minute later, as the feel of Cody's naked body flushed tightly against his own. He knew then, with a flash of realization that cut directly to the quick, that he would never get enough of this… of them.

He captured Cody's face in his hands, coaxing him into a full-lipped kiss that was jarringly gentle—in such sharp contrast to everything else they had done that Cody gasped, shivering.

"The heat," he said wonderingly into Zack's mouth. "It still burns." Then, as if it explained everything, he added, "But it's good. And it's finally mine…."

"Yes," Zack agreed, nodding solemnly, as if he understood. "All yours."

Cody stared at him then, eyes bright, and at his brother's small smile fairly attacked him with kisses, covering his face and neck. Zack still wasn't entirely sure what he'd said, but somehow sensed it had definitely been the right thing to say.

"Let me love you," Zack echoed Cody's words from earlier, sighing under his companion's dotted caresses.

"Will do." Cody sat up, planting one last messy kiss on Zackary's forehead before smiling nervously. "Scoot back a little."

"You're on top, then?" Zack asked, and the thought didn't bother him nearly as much as it might have a few hours ago.

Cody paused. "I'm not sure." Zack took his hand and squeezed it.

"It's up to you," he said honestly. "I want to be with you, Cody. Only you. I don't care how we do it at this point."

Cody smiled sheepishly, lying down alongside him after a moment's deliberation. He felt around for the tub of mint balm and handed it to him, covering his wrist. "I want you, too, Zack. Make love to me?"

A thrill went through Zack at Cody's plea, and he smiled too. _I'll do my best_, he thought, deeply humbled by the look of trust etched upon the other boy's face.

Out loud, however, he said cheekily, "Oh? I thought I was?" and covered Cody's body with his own. "Spread your legs, my sweet."

Cody snorted appreciatively. "I'm your 'sweet', now, am I?"

He tried to sound insulted, but Zack could tell by the reddening of his ears that, truthfully, Cody kind of liked it. Even so, at Zack's behest he opened his legs obediently and Zack kneeled between them, stroking up his brother's thighs to rest on his knees.

"Next I'll be your 'honey-muffin,'" Cody was saying with faked resentment. "And then your 'sugar dumpling', or—God, your 'lovey-bear….'" At this, Cody visibly shuddered. "You can stop me at any time, you know."

Zack laughed, unscrewing the lid to the balm and trying to ignore the flutter in his stomach as Cody's face grew serious, his eyes locked squarely upon the tub of cream.

"You do know what you're doing, right?" Cody asked apprehensively, and then seemed to reconsider. "You'd better, after putting me through that nightmare of a sex manual."

"Nightmare," Zack scoffed, dipping his fingers into the cream. "This—uh, might be a little cold."

Cody tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a squawk. "That's okay." Their eyes met, and Zack swallowed.

He paused, wanting to memorize this moment; but as in all other arenas of life, a memory is made in the making of it, not by the passive desire to keep it preserved in the present forever.

Acknowledging this, Zack set the tub down and lowered his moistened fingers to Cody's inner thigh.

He checked. Sure enough, Cody was beet red; but seeing that his features spelled more eagerness than anxiety, Zack continued, placing his fingers at Cody's entrance.

It felt warm, and—clean. Zack blinked. Of course it was clean, this was _Cody _he was dealing with. "Okay so far?" he murmured aloud, for Cody's sake, and looked up to confirm with him.

"Mhm." Cody's voice sounded a bit on the high end. "You can go on," he offered, panting a little. "But—one at a time. Okay?"

Zack nodded. The first slid in fairly easily, though it was still a tight fit; and the way that Cody's body squeezed at his finger sent shivers through him.

Cody groaned, and Zack stilled. "Was that a good noise, or—"

"Both," Cody grit out, eyes shut tight. After a moment's hesitation, he opened them. "Um, okay. I think you can do a second, now."

"Are you sure?"

A terse nod. "Yup."

"Because I can…"

"Idiot, I want you in-" Cody grabbed his hand, pushing Zack's second finger in as deep as it would go. He sucked in a breath. "...Me. Ah—Ouch. Okay." He wriggled a bit, and swallowed loudly. "Nnn… now the third."

Zack's eyes widened. Cody was so tight and _hot_ around his fingers-but he was too worried about the possibility that Cody was hurting to enjoy it.

Much. "Three? Are you crazy?"

Cody sent him another one of those sheepish smiles, and something _gripped_ at Zack's fingers from the inside… He was surprised to feel them slide even farther in.

"Yes," Cody answered simply, and took Zack's hand again.

Together, they pushed the third in, both moaning at the stretch, Cody's ankles crossing behind Zack's lower back as he spread his thighs wider to accept the intrusion. "Oh… wow," Cody said wonderingly, his head falling back against the headboard.

"Does it hurt?" Zack asked nervously.

Cody took a moment to answer. "Not any more." He squeezed around Zack's fingers as if to punctuate his statement, and Zack's breathing became measurably more difficult at Cody's look of determination. "Move."

Zack drew his fingers out the slightest bit, and at Cody's hiss pushed them even deeper than they had been. Cody's hips rose of their own accord; it took some figuring, but after a minute or so they had established a rhythm that worked, with Cody moaning and his hands curling into fists around his head pillow.

Zack was so aroused at this point that he was afraid everything would soon be over, before it had even started.

"Um," Zack tried to get Cody's attention, clearing his throat, but at that very moment one of his fingers crooked up a little, grazing against a small bump somewhere inside the other boy, and Cody's eyes shot open, gasping as his entire body _jumped_.

"Ohmygod," Cody panted, staring at Zack in awe. "Do that again."

Zack tried to remember what he had done, and it took a few seconds, but soon Cody was arching up against the mattress, moaning so loudly Zack was almost positive their mother would hear—pills or no pills.

"Wow," he murmured, staring at Cody's renewed erection with satisfaction and a fair amount of jealousy. "It… it feels that good?"

"Like… like…" Cody struggled to find the words, and hit the bed with his fist, frustrated. "_Please_, just, more."

Zack nodded and crooked his fingers, hitting _that_ spot, and Cody grabbed Zack's shoulders, pulling him closer. "No. _More_. Zack…."

"…Oh." Now Zack understood. His cock throbbed as he realized what Cody was asking for, and again he worried that he wouldn't last very long.

He withdrew his fingers slowly—minding Cody's surprised gasp with exaggerated care—and scooped up more of the cold stuff, covering his painfully hard erection. The cold helped ease some of his urgency, but he almost came anyway from the look of hunger in Cody's eyes.

He tried to think of something that would take the edge off of the insane need in his gut—Moesby. Arwin. _Linda_—but luckily Cody kissed him, and that effectively distracted him for the few moments it took to regain control.

Cody broke away, panting, rosy lips quirked in a devastating half-smile. "Zack? Could you do something for me?"

Zack gulped air. "…Yeah. What?" Cody leaned close, dragging his lower lip across the shell of his ear, and Zack _felt_ his smile as he whispered:

"…Fuck me?"

Zack's heart skipped a few beats, and he drew back, taking in Cody's smirk with equal parts greed and gratitude. The hairs at the back of his neck prickled. What could he possibly say to something like that? But really, there was only one thing.

"I am so in love with you," he said at last, pushing Cody back against the sheets and pulling at Cody's legs, draping them over his shoulders. Cody's grin melted into an appreciative moan.

"Me, too," Cody whispered as Zack's erection met at the place where his fingers had been.

Zack pushed forward, just a little, reveling in the breathy little noises Cody was making. "Figures…" he grunted, driving even deeper, breaching the first ring of muscle. Cody arched sharply, whimpering. "You would be in love with yourself."

Cody giggled, or cried—Zack couldn't really tell, but either way the world was shrinking, ringing like a bell, and he knew he knew he knew he wouldn't last long. He pushed in another inch, and stopped, sweating. He wiped his hair away from his face with one hand.

"Talk to me," Zack said, pulling almost all the way out before falling in again slowly, filling the boy below him to the hilt—he was desperate for a distraction.

"What should…" Cody bit his lip, heels digging into Zack's spine, "what should I say?"

"Anything," Zack bit out, and almost cried as Cody's hips rose to meet him, urging him to go faster, even though Zack couldn't, he _couldn't_ or he would die.

"Um… Uh. There was an old lady who—ohgod—lived in a shoe…"

Zack barked a surprised laugh, delirious, and thrust so deep he saw stars. Cody keened, and was silent for several moments while he tried to remember what the hell his name was, let alone what he had been saying. "Uh… ba, ba, black sheep—ngh… have you any wool?"

"I'll give you wool," Zack growled nonsensically, pushing into Cody's thighs until they were flush against his chest.

"Faster," Cody moaned, and Zack complied as best he could. The bed creaked dangerously, not built for such abuse. "What was I saying about shoes?"

Zack laughed helplessly as he realized, "You're still wearing them."

"I am? Fuck… so are you."

"Yup." An evil grin, and Cody was completely lost as Zack changed the angle, accidentally hitting that same spot inside him that he'd done before.

"Shit. Zack, I'm _going_ to die. I am. I'm gonna—" Cody whispered frantically against Zack's throat.

"Oh my god, me too," Zack commiserated, the torrent inside him having already reached record heights. "My ears are buzzing."

Cody laughed. "…Together then?"

"Yeah…."

"One… two…"

"It doesn't work like that!"

"Three." Cody strained upward, squeezing around Zack's erection, and Zack blacked out.

Silence. Zack opened his eyes to find Cody staring at him.

"Oh. I… guess it does work like that."

Cody nodded. "Yeah, it definitely does." Zack gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek in response, and was still. "Um. You're kind of heavy."

"Hmm? Oh, sorry." Zack melted away from where they were still joined, rolling to Cody's side, and Cody's arms were around him instantly, hugging him. They shifted, rearranging themselves until Cody was tucked in against Zack's chest. "Why do you get to be the little spoon?" Zack complained aimlessly, once everything was quiet again.

Cody didn't answer—simply snuggled back, and drew the covers over them. "Oh," he said after a few minutes. "Set the alarm clock… will you? We don't want a…." Yawn. "Repeat of this morning."

"Right." Zack hastened to do as he was told, then returned to Cody's warmth, sleep approaching with a vengeance. "That was brilliant," he murmured, not entirely sure Cody was even awake to hear it.

But about a minute later, he heard a quiet, "Yeah…. Ridiculously good."

And with that, Zack slept.

Cody laid awake for a minute or so more, grinning stupidly. Eventually, though, he too fell prey to sweet oblivion.

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**A/N: You like?**

This took bloody forever! You better like! (Just kidding. ^^ I love you all.) As always, feel free to leave me your thoughts.


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